Xanga Douchebag Award Finalists!

Alright people. Without any further delay I would like to announce the finalists for the first ever Xanga Douchebag Awards. Okay I lied there are actually two quick delays before I get to the finalists.

First I would like to introduce your judges for this contest:

mllerobillard, theblackspiderman, shuddertothink, stewieismyhero, krissy_cole, ducktapejourneyman, elgaberino, shirlann, and of course drakonskyr (because who better to judge a contest about assholes than an actual asshole) 

These judges will be choosing winners for these three categories;
1. Just Plain Fucked Up Douchebag
2. Religious Nutjob Douchebag of the Year
3. Douchebag of the Year

Alright without further ado, your finalists…

And I’d greatly appreciate it if you dropped dead.
You’re wasting my oxygen, emo kid.

All human beings are hateful – to claim that you’re not is to be in denial of reality. You can no more keep your innate emotions in check than you can hold back the tide. Don’t be stupid, hm? 

 “at least they done locked OJ up! us white folks can rest easy knowin’ that crazy nigger won’t come murder us to death. LOL RACISM”

“Oh I am so impressed, you are taking an utterly useless major. I hope you can find a way to get your student loans paid back.”

“You are so screwed up … How dare you hold your head up high in public and call yourself an American … Under different circumstances it would be amusing to watch all you ppl change your tunes. But it wont be. It will be the saddest thing ever witnessed. And you will be helpless. And the fact that you are proud to be acquainted, associated and related to gays and lesbians just proves my point. You are screwed up. Go drink a bottle of Tabasco sauce through your nose. Or hang yourself. Anything.”

Just go to all the sites of the people who participate in all the other fucking stupid contests and – bam! – you have your top contenders.

Yeah what you do  does define you.  And because it does define you since you profess Christ  why vote?   How can you say ‘ God thy will be done’ and then go vote for the one YOU want in office?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely do you think it will be that President Obama gets assassinated?

why dont you post reasons not to have abortions? maybe because people will find that it is MURDER! and people will get angry because they dont want to think what they are doing is worng. but unfortunately, it really doesnt matter what you want to think, because the only thing that matters is that it is wrong, no matter how you spin it! dont get pregnant (ie, dont have sex) and take some self defense classes! (that may seem callous of me, but seriously- with all respect to all parties.) just take responsnibility for your own actions.

People that choose to be gay are going to Hell. They want everyone they can to be in Hell with them. This is only an attempt to indoctrinate innocent children into the disgusting sinful world of homosexuality.
Then the Lord rained brimstone and fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, from the Lord out of the heavens” Genesis 19:24
These disgusting sinners want the same thing for our children. I don’t know who needs to be punished worse, Muslims or homosexuals? End days almost here, I cannot WAIT to meet Jesus!

We ask ourselves what would the world be like if we just obeyed God.  What would it be like if we don’t vote. we never find out because we don’t obey God  and we vote.   Well there are some of us who are finding out what life is like apart from the world.  
When it doesn’t matter to me  who the president is or are the Lakers going to the playoffs or what  the Dow Jones close at,  or how much is a barrel of oil  I betcha I’m going to feel… happy.

have read your blog and if you read mine you just might get a glimpse of the real Obama

The genocide of the tribe of Cush is just the tip of the iceberg (so to speak) this man makes what Adolf Hitler did to the Jews tame by comparison… (goes on like this for 43 paragraphs)

wow … the bible says not to hate. I don’t hate you … but i dont like you… 

Okay so there you have it. The douchiest of the douchy. Check back Thursday to see what our judges come up with. Let me know what you guys think in the meantime. Thanks to everyone who rec’d this and participated in any way, shape, or form (that includes reading).

*sidenote – After my blog about Obama bucks there were a bunch of posts that were either racist or ignorant that could have easily qualified (anyone who sifted through the comments would probably agree with me). However in the interest of not beating a dead horse, and keeping this list to a reasonable length, I decided to ignore most of them.

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55 comments

  1. Yeah, I vote for orange – one because its the biggest db one there, and two, because that quote does not apply to homosexuality – douche bags just claim it does. And the yellow one – because it’s both asinine and pretentious.

  2. “You are so screwed up … How dare you hold your head up high in public and call yourself an American … Under different circumstances it would be amusing to watch all you ppl change your tunes. But it wont be. It will be the saddest thing ever witnessed. And you will be helpless. And the fact that you are proud to be acquainted, associated and related to gays and lesbians just proves my point. You are screwed up. Go drink a bottle of Tabasco sauce through your nose. Or hang yourself. Anything.”I’ve read many a comment on Xanga that made me fume. I’ve argued for days with people over the most trite and irrelevant of issues. But when I read this comment on BarelyJen’s post, I nearly threw my computer against the wall. I think this should win. Ignorance at it’s finest. 

  3. ok this is my favorite haha had to read it a few times …. think God did a mail in vote this year?  These words of wisdom just saved me hours of waiting in line at the polls!Yeah what you do  does define you.  And because it does define you since you profess Christ  why vote?   How can you say ‘ God thy will be done’ and then go vote for the one YOU want in office?  

  4. Okay, I have to vote for this one because it’s so awful, and they deserve the Religious NutJob Douchebag of the year award. This person has so many psychological issues that I don’t even know where to start. “People that choose to be gay are going to Hell. They want everyone they can to be in Hell with them. This is only an attempt to indoctrinate innocent children into the disgusting sinful world of homosexuality.Then the Lord rained brimstone and fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, from the Lord out of the heavens” Genesis 19:24These disgusting sinners want the same thing for our children. I don’t know who needs to be punished worse, Muslims or homosexuals? End days almost here, I cannot WAIT to meet Jesus!”

  5.  43 paragraphs about how Obama is worse than Hitler? That gets my vote for sheer volume and insanity. I mean you can think someone’s going to hell, that’s an opinion and unprovable, but this is an entire new level of crazy doucheyness.  

  6. ‘go drink a bottle of Tabasco sauce through your nose”? ha. that’s possibly the lamest insult I’ve ever heard. Especially since it’s a brand name insult. They should’ve added “or hang yourself with a Consolidated Cordage Corp. rope”

  7. i’m wondering if this doesn’t set off an unprecedented level of new douchbag blog comments.  like a xangaMonkey see douche-commentary, xangaMonkey do douche-commentary, effect.  we’ll see.

  8. I find it pretty fucking funny someone is so desperate they actually try to vote for me. Though I’m surprised it’s not more people all in all…figures. I just haven’t been offendin’ them left and right like normal. I’LL SUBMIT MAH VOTE SOON, MASSAH

  9. I get some pretty bad comments ever so often, I feel sorry for people who get comments like this who really don’t deserve them.Can a prize be that the douchbag gets their site spammed to death in hopes they delete it? hehe

  10. Hahaha I loved recognizing bright blue and bright purple from weedorwildflower’s blog from the other day. Your last response to him was great by the way.@kellychicky – tehe I was involved in that comment war. It was pretty funny by the end.

  11. Wow, there really are some douchey commenters out there. Unfortunately, the one I wanted (really badly) to submit got deleted from the site where I saw it. Oh well, you found some really (cough) lovely ones.  Good luck, judges!

  12. All of these comments make me shake my head and say, “What the fuck kinda planet do these people——if they’re even worthy of that title!——come from?!?!?!?”

  13. I must say the first comment is definitely douche of the year for me and the comment on how all gay people are going to hell (Sodom and Gomorrah cinched it as the Religious Nutjob Douche)The second last comment (green) is just plain fucked up – at 43 paragraphs how could it not be.

  14. Okay, my votes are in… and I felt there was a clear winner, as per my message. I should be finishing my PowerPoint presentation due to my boss tonight before I leave for home tomorrow; but no, I had to judge douchbags first! Okay, it was worth it. 🙂 Can’t wait to see the winners from all the judges! 🙂

  15. I like: wow … the bible says not to hate. I don’t hate you … but i dont like you…whoever said that is an asshole. who

  16. “at least they done locked OJ up! us white folks can rest easy knowin’ that crazy nigger won’t come murder us to death. LOL RACISM”…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAOh god. That one just fucking slays me.

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