THE BFN Chatroom Makes a Porno

*Alright time to lose all of those new subscribers.*

10 things I learned in the BFN chatroom yesterday (I am gonna try to keep this as PG-13 as possible)…

1. The reverse cowgirl position, while awesome for guys, is apparently really uncomfortable for the ladies. Also they are not too keen on the idea of us staring at their ass. reverse If you are unsure of what the reverse cowgirl is please visit SnippiesBlog for more information.

2. Guys like mirrors. That way we can flex, wink at ourselves, make weird faces, and of course my personal favorite give ourselves the thumbs up (a peace sign is also acceptable). Sometimes we just want to know we are doing a good job.borat If you aren’t going to let me know that then damnit if I am not gonna let myself know. Which brings me to number 3…

3. Call us champ once in a while. Or something along those lines. Champ, daddy, god, or even the occasional “you da man.” Just don’t call me sport. That makes me sound like some snot nosed little kid wearing a beanie and holding a lollipop.

4. Foreplay is an important part of sex. Hmmmm, who knew?

5. When a woman gets the big O it makes her have the feeling of needing to pee. Therefore stop poking around down there if she “arrived”, unless you want an unpleasant surprise (well unpleasant for most people at least). 

6. Want to prevent Urinary Tract Infection? Don’t forget to pee after sex (Okay I had to put that in. Still with me?).

7. If a woman is allowed to bring a toy into bed for “extra fun”, then I should be allowed to bring an extra woman into bed for “extra fun”.  Fair is fair ladies.

8. If you are a fan of lights on and your partner is a fan of lights off, then buy a dimmer and go halfway with it. It’s all about compromise people.

9. Lunch baggies: They’re not just for lunch anymore! Let’s just say lube and a cleverly used matress is involved.
Sidenote:  I would like to take this time to apologize to   TheBigShowAtUD for ruining the sanctity of lunch baggies yesterday. Hopefully one day you will forgive us.

10. There are other things to talk about besides the election results and how messesd up xanga is. Hallelujah.

What did I forget?  

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71 comments

  1. LMAO!!!  This is great entertainment for a Friday workday.  Heck, what am i saying — it’s a TIMELESS CLASSIC!!!btw, nice cheap shot at mr. kelly in #5 — ha-ha-ha!!!”step to the left, step to the right…” 

  2. Okay, okay … settle down, kids.  However, I would like to know more about this “lunch baggies” thing … Lunch baggies have never struck me as a particularly erotic item. With or without lube. I am officially intrigued.

  3. LMFAO….Now this is my kinda blog!  I dont have to pretend to know what you all are talking about here!cant believe you found pandas doing the reverse cowgirl!So on #3….does Papi count?

  4. Actually, number one is not uncomfortable!  Well not for all of us anyway.  That’s just the something that requires more work (she’s being lazy fellas).  Ladies…do some squats around the house and get those leg muscles working. Now reverse…find your rhythm and get yours.  It’s great to get the big “O” when you’re in control! (if your on top…you can run off and take care of numbers 5 & 6.)  Forget about him looking at your ass and do the damn thing…a man loves to see his womam get hers.  Though I have a great @ss and I love it when my man admires it.  As far as any internal discomfort…just get used to it…you can take control duh!   I like mirrors too!  I love seeing my man have that “Oooohhhh Shit!” look on his face.

  5. Well, you certainly changed the subject nicely, I’d say.   And, now that you’ve covered off politics, sex, and race this week; don’t you think it’s time you moved on to religion? Get all the taboo polite conversation topics out all in one week.

  6. “7. If a woman is allowed to bring a toy into bed for “extra fun”, then I should be allowed to bring an extra woman into bed for “extra fun”. Fair is fair ladies.”^ only one e-prop for you, champ, because women aren’t toys!  (like my use of the word “champ”?  haha) 

  7. @theblackspiderman – I don’t know who bob is, but yes big ups for fun posts!@iwantmycheez – Mirror + thumbs up = High self esteem@beli_grrl – As am I. lol.@Lithium98 – Couldn’t have done it without you. You were the only guy in there with me for a bit. Had my back.@MyTinyWrist –  uhhh, I’ll leave that for one of you ladies to cover.@SnippiesBlog – yes it has been a fun Friday so far. Every 30 minutes or so I stop working to come have a laugh.@SouthForkCheerMom – anytime 🙂@Madoushi_Shoujo –   never hurts to try right?

  8. @vanedave – i’ll give you that. SOME women are toys because they like the attention. in such a case, you are free to add any of those to your sexual exploits. 🙂  wouldn’t it be interesting to find out how common it really IS for people to have threesomes?  we should ask the xanga community.  or is that too taboo to publicize?  hm. the world may never know.

  9. Hey Champ! Nice list you got here, looks like I  missed out on a good time last night. Personally, reverse cowgirl is my favorite position, it’s the closest I’ve gotten to “arriving” during intercourse. However, It can get kind of uncomfortable, hurts my knees after awhile..Pleasure is pain, I always say. Or, at least, I’m saying it right now. I’m kind of curious about this lunch baggy thing though….

  10. 1. I’m with the rest of the girls on this. Not that uncomfortable. Really fun. 3. If your girl is able to talk during sex, you’re doing something wrong. Maybe I’m biased, but I think totally kills the mood. 4. Uh, yes. Hours to days of it, preferably.

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