Down by the Boardwalk

I feel like there are waves crashing in my head. I have always been fascinated by waves. Waves are in themselves an inherent contradiction. On the one hand waves are a powerful force of nature. They are capable of incredible destruction and are not to be toyed with. On the other hand there is just something so calming about the sound of waves crashing on an otherwise quiet seashore, the faint sound of seagulls high above, the wind blowing through your hair. Just think about how odd the statement I just made would sound if I replaced waves with some other noun. Would anything else crashing besides waves have a calming effect. I tell you waves are a living, moving, crashing, and calming oxymoron. My thoughts are like waves today…

Totally and completely off any kind of topic. I’m just gonna let the waves come as they may.

Have you ever had someone get mad at you and call you buddy, or pal, or some other friendly greeting? Something along the lines of “Hey buddy I was about to park there!” Or “That’s my wife you’re sleeping with pal!” I don’t know where the hell this notion of using terms of befriendment to express anger came from, but it makes absolutely no sense to me. I’ve only ever heard white people do it. Is this a white people thing only?
*Can you hear the seagulls calling?*

On the flipside I find that it is way more common for me to hear people use harsh insults to compliment people. I used to think that this was a guy thing, but girls do it sometimes too. Some examples:
Black Guy: Yo did you see that new Chris Rock special? He is one funny mothafucka. I swear that fool got no sense. He is a straight asshole!
White Guy: Hey dude did you see that new Dane Cook special? That is one funny son of a bitch! Yes sir as far as sons of bitches go he is the funniest.
Girl: Oh my god did you see the new Sarah Silverman special? I laughed so much, she is such a slut. I almost got a cramp I laughed so hard. What a whore!
*Feel the wind passing through your hair? Just relax and feel the breeze.*

I was talking to my friend the other day who is due to get married sometime next year. We were talking about life and love. The old addage is that the true sign of love is when you are comfortable enough to fart around your lover without feeling self conscious. This has been true in the past but with cynicism running rampant these days, it’s time to hold love to a higher standard. While discussing her laundry day escapades with me, we stumbled upon a new litmus test for love. You really know you are in love with someone when you are not afraid to let them see the shit streaks in your dirty drawers. If your lover has seen your shitstained undies, then congratulations, you guys are going to make it.
*Go ahead, throw a pebble. See how many times you can make it skip.*

Lastly over the weekend, my family decided that they want to go to the inauguration in January. That would have been a nice idea a week ago, but now it’s just a royal pain in the ass. There are no hotels left, the train tickets are going fast, and apparently you need tickets to even go to the parade and of course there is a list for those. My mom is talking about camping out there from the night before. In mid January, in D.C, right by the Patomic. Yeah, not happening! If I can’t find a hotel in the nearby vicinity, for a reasonable price, than I am out. I really want to go, but I am not doing the camp out thing. That’s why they have TV.
*Whoops. Tide’s coming in. Time to go.*

Sidenote – On a serious note, please pray for the victims in the school collapse that occurred over the weekend in Haiti. On second though please pray for Haiti in general. That country can always use some good thoughts.

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38 comments

  1. Lol you crack me up. Ahh I needed that. Maybe I should start thinking about the ocean waves or something. I call my cousin Hoochie all the time, but I love her so much lol. I didnt think about it that way till you wrote this post =P

  2. I have a couple of friends who see the b word as a term of endearment. The first time one of them called me it, I was offended, but they don’t do it now. I just don’t think that is cool at all. It seems like everyone is trying to get tickets to the inauguration. Go camp, it could get quite interesting.  Pray for the world, the collapse of the school in Haiti, North Korea possibly reaching famine proportions, The fighting in the Congo, Darfur, need I go on?

  3. I actually thought about you when I saw the breaking news about the school collapse, because I know you’ve said you still have family there; but I think I remember that your family wasn’t in Port au Prince, right? Doesn’t matter, though, those people are SOMEONE’S family and deserve our prayers. I’ve been having some deep thoughts of late, and that’s really what your post is: deep thoughts about the inherent contradictions in life. I’ve often wondered about these same things and more… like, perhaps you’d be willing to enlighten your white family member here and explain why on Earth a black person would ever call another black person the “n-word?” I don’t get it. That word is taboo, it comes with so much hatefulness and anger; why would someone use that when it was used against black people for so long? Perhaps it’s just used by dumb kids being dumb… we have a lot of that around here, too, doesn’t matter what color you are; kids can still be insufferably stupid sometimes. By the way, I never did that “what white people should do now” post after the election. The air down here in my red state was so tinged with nastiness and bitterness that I just couldn’t bring myself to add to it in any way, shape or form. And, I gotta be honest: I’m not particularly racially motivated. I didn’t vote for Obama because he was black, because of his life story being what it is, or because of the historic significance of electing a black man as president. I voted for him because I thought (and think) he’s the best guy for the job. He could have been purple & pink polka dotted; and I wouldn’t have cared. Too bad the guy is getting the worst job in the world at the worst time to have it; but I think he is possibly the only guy around who can take this crappy scenario and turn it into a time everyone can be proud of their country and our ability to start anew.

  4. @Shirlann – Geez your comment was almost as “brief as your last enry. I think we were commenting eachother at the same time.Why black people do that is a mystery to me as well. It’s become so engrained in them. It’s an unfortunate part of the culture now. It’ll take a real collective effort to officially change it. About the what white people should do post. I totally understand. I get sick of all the racially charged stuff sometimes too. It just helps me to rant about it sometimes. Other times I feel like you and I don’t even want to acknowledge the stupidity of it all.

  5. Breathe deep  I wonder what their language teachers taught them? haha Love has taught me many things about letting go of what I thought was and accepting what is and loving it even more. I’m “waving” myself here huh? Have a good day buddy! hee?

  6. I think it’s more the tone of voice than the actual words you use. I call my friends sluts, hussies, bitches, and hoes all the time… but I mean it in an endearing way. I also call them sugar pumpkins, honey bears, and muffin loves. I take a lot more out of tone of voice than choice of words, usually… And the underwear thing is so right! I’ve been dating my guy for a year now and I still make sure all my dirty panties are stashed away… And the Haiti thing… dang that sucks. They say that there were too many people in the building because of the special event. Meh.

  7. ABD here. It is a white guy thing there D! I’d never use “Buddy” in that situation. “Hey Asshat” or “Yo, DoucheNozzle” are more popular phrases in my vocabulary. I am generally a joy to be around in situations like that! As for the test of love – I can say been there, done that! 

  8. @psycho_ash – Someone calls me sugar pumpkins we are fighting. I don’t care what tone of voice it’s in.@Shirlann – re: ABD – well as you know I am a big fan of anything douche related when it comes to insults. Asshat is also a particularly amusing word. As for the love test… well let’s just say I feel a whole lot closer to you now.@ladyscheme – Well maybe not all the time.

  9. I’ve heard tickets for the parade are THOUSANDS of dollars, I’ll be watching on TV lol………It burns my biscuits when someone calls me “sweety” when making an insult, but I have a habit of calling someone “hun” in a non-nice way too, I’m not sure where that comes from lol

  10. (grabs you around the neck and gives you a noogie) You’re one demented *&^%$ ((*&^%%$^&*( &^%$##&(!See how much I loves ya, Cousin?

  11. I camped out in the Walmart parking lot over night in December once. It was in the south though so prolly not as cold as DC. Hey, just pretend you are George Washington. You should just humor your poor mom – imagine the blogging potential!

  12. Sarah is funny in very tiny doses, but Dane Cook, EEK!  Give me some Stephen Lynch and rock me to sleep with his lullabies.  Our group of friends here talked about going to DC, but after seeing the rooms gone and the estimates of the crowds, we’ll stay here and watch it on TV.

  13. I’m the one who like waves, too.Yeah, it’s kinda irony when heard someone said like that with the term of “buddy” or “pal” if it’s me I would bellow “bastard” instead. But I guess it’s because they wanna be as polite as much as they could in that state because of speaking with strangers. Ironic it is that we care about politeness to strangers more than friends or family members lolOh, and I just knew from you that there’s a tragic in Haiti. Pray for them to be safe again 🙂

  14. My pals used to joke around about gettin’ some AK’s and taking over Haiti. We were government students and we figured we’d do a better job running the place than anyone else has lately. Sorry I know that’s hardly relevant but you reminded me of it.  Will pray I guess. Hadn’t heard about it Have been a bit detached from everything lately.

  15. you should do a shout out to xangans in DC to see if any of them have any ideas / solutions to your accommodation issue.  they might have a guest room or know someone that might be gone and rent their house.  whatever.  shout out.(for some reason your site is regular speed for me right now. giddy up!)

  16. ahh yes…they have the insult and the compliment all mixed up, because if anyone just said what they meant and used the appropriate words no one would understand them…*There is sand in my shoe*

  17. I generally don’t lose my cool often enough to say these things, but that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking them!I would love to go to the inaguration, but wouldn’t want to put up with the crowd either.  I’m content to have a front row seat in my living room.  I’m just shit-kickin happy he got in!  (sounded like Palin, huh?)  Gosh darnit.My prayers go up to Haiti.

  18. @kellychicky – I use ass as a last name…Dumb Ass, Stupid Ass and the best that my ex really seemed to hate…”Bitch Ass”He’d say “I don’t like it when you call me that” <—and see, that’s a Bitch Ass comeback right there…he earned that name.

  19. I definitely have heard that whole truly loving someone when you can fart around them thing. I think people lie though. They say they want to see the real “us” then run away screaming when we show them our knife collection. I’m just saying.I like your waves. They are all quite random, but just as impressive as the real thing.

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