So before I get into the happy stuff, I would like to take a second out to acknowledge three special people from the past weekend. Three complete and total idiots who deserve to be beaten in public. I will put them in order from idiot to even more of an idiot.
Idiot # 1: Stephon Marbury – Okay so not only do you refuse to play twice, when your team is shorthanded and you have a chance to show that you are not such a bad teammate. But then, you come out and say that your teammates shot you in the head in your own foxhole. You are making 22 million a year to do nothing, your coach asks you to play, and you say no. But it’s your coach and your teammates who are the bad guys somehow? I swear I can’t wait for this douchebag to get out of tow.
Idiot # 2: Plaxico Burress – The star wide receiver for my beloved Super Bowl Champion New York Giants went out to a club on Friday night and shot himself in the leg. With a gun not with steroids or something. What’s worse is that the gun may not be licensed. I swear if the Giants suffer because of this somehow I will never forgive Plaxico. He shot himself man! What a dumbass! (He’s fine by the way.)
Idiot # 3: Wal-Mart Shoppers – Okay so this one is a group award. For those who didn’t hear this unfortunate news, a Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death by a flock of idiot customers on Friday morning. Where was this Wal-Mart you ask? In Valley Stream Long Island, five minutes from my house! My Aunt had plans on going there Friday morning. Thank goodness she changed her mind. How do you step on a person? People are really disgusting sometimes.
Okay now that that’s out of my system, let’s switch gears. Today is December 1st. Thanksgiving weekend has come and gone. Time to put up the decorations. As you can see I already have mine up. (I also wanted to give you guys some music, but at the moment the audio is acting up. I will have a new song for you everyday once that problem is resolved.) Time to start crossing off those names from your shopping lists. I myself made some significant progress over the weekend. One gift in particular was perfect. I found a book about pooping for my friend Alex, who never shuts up about pooping. The book is just awesome (I want one for myself). Its called Flush: The Scoop on Poop Throughout the Ages. It is a treasury of fun poop info and I can’t wait to see his face when he sees it. I recommend this as a cool little stocking stuffer for any poop afficionado. I found the following awesome book,…but I don’t know who to give it to just yet. Maybe I’ll mail that book to Dan (Drakonskyr) for Hannukah.
There was also this funny little book about kids who are scared of Santa. These kids faces were priceless. PURE TERROR! Were you afraid of Santa when you were little?
In case you didn’t notice, I added in a scene from A Christmas story at the end there. Ralphie and Randy were petrified when they went to see Santa (literally). If you don’t know what I’m talking about then go to a place where films are sold or rented, find A Christmas Story and get it immediately. You are not allowed back till you have completed this task. Now go. Shoo I said. Or more a propos, SHOE!