A Rough Week…

This holiday season has been so up and down for me. I feel like a damn yo-yo over here. There has been some pretty heavy stuff going on. The holidays started off well enough. I had a great Thanksgiving and got all my shopping done early. Then not a day after my shopping was all done I took a substantial financial hit. That very same week I took another. I didn’t know how I was going to cope with them, but I did. What’s more amazing is that I managed to keep a positive outlook throughout the whole thing.

Then came last week when I got into two vicious fights with two people I love very much. The thing is that both fights were over such stupid things. They just completely knocked the wind out of me for a moment. I took solace in the fact that I would have a three day weekend to tend to my wounds. The weekend came (mercifully) and I began to patch things up. I made things right with my loved ones and went to the city to enjoy some Christmas festivities with my family. Things were truly looking up. Then on Sunday came the news that someone near and dear to me had lost their job on Friday. It came so unexpectedly, and after dealing with everything else I didn’t have the strength to deal with it anymore. I just got the feeling like something was determined to keep me down in the dumps this season. Like that happy feeling I had so badly needed this year was just not coming. I had literally been fighting with myself for the past few weeks not to break down. Not to throw my arms up in disgust and say FUCK IT! FUCK IT ALL! 

I have always been a pretty stoic person. Its pretty hard to shake me and even harder to see when I am shaken. This comes in handy when you are trying to be strong for others, but it also makes it hard for others to know when they need to be strong for you. Here’s the thing though. When people truly love you they know. They see through the tough exterior and they know. So as I reached my breaking point, as I felt like saying FUCK IT ALL, I was reminded in the simplest ways that I was loved and that I was appreciated and that I have way more to be happy about than I have to be sad about. It dawned on me afterwards that the past few weeks have given me an opportunity. An opportunity to see clearer and with a bit more perspective. An opportunity to embrace this Christmas with even more fervor than I have in the past.

It sounds cliche and it sounds corny but I am here to say it anyway. Christmas is love. If you are lucky enough to know what love is then you may have a Merry Christmas no matter what you are going through. Whether its love for family, or a significant other, or a friend, or a community (online or otherwise). If you have love you are rich. I am blessed to be a very rich man in this regard. It is something my father so eloquently reminded me of over the weekend. Remember this Christmas to count your blessings people. There is so much more to enjoy in life than we sometimes realize.  

Advertisements

34 comments

  1. Awwww, Dave!  You gave me chills  I’m glad you’re seeing a light at the end of the tunnel!  I hope your Christmas is filled with an abundance of love.

  2. That is so very true!  This year has been pretty tough for me as well because my husband is in Afghanistan this year…the first year we’ve been apart for Christmas since he’s been in the military (after 4 deployments!  lol!), and it’s not as easy as I thought it would be, so I’m feeling ya on being a yo-yo this Christmas….  I hope you have a great Christmas!

  3. Amen, brother.. I mean, cousin! Life has a way of testing our decisions, particularly the decision to be joyful and happy no matter what our circumstances. It sounds like you have been tested and are coming out the other side of it with an even stronger resolve to be thankful and joyful and live in love. You preach it!

  4. Awww sweetie. I was wondering where you had been. Thanks for sharing.  We do have so much to be thankful for, and your blog is a good reminder. Keep your chin up and surround yourself with loved ones … and Christmas cookies. Cookies make everything better. 🙂 Merry Christmas!

  5. It is so true!  No matter what you are going through, if you have any sort of friend, you can get through it.  Too often we get wrapped up in the bad in life and take for granted the good.

  6. If it makes you feel any better, in the span of one week, 1) my gas stove was turned on by one of my cats while we were out of the house and when I went to turn it off, it sparked, igniting the built-up gas in the air and nearly incinerating me, 2) a Dodge pick up truck nearly rear-ended me at full speed while I was stopped at a stop light – it veered into the turn lane next to me and missed my rear bumper by inches, 3) while returning from the gym, I was turning onto a busy road and was stopped, waiting for traffic to pass, when a van nearly rear-ended me (which would have pushed me into fast-moving traffic) – the van stopped just in time, again just inches from my bumper.I was really convinced someone was trying to send me a message 🙂

  7. That made me feel a little bit better.  I feel like we’re all in the same boat.  I’m going through a lot of stuff right now.  It seems to all be accumulating so fast!  I know that at some point things are going to turn around but dang!  Nice post.  Thank you.

  8. Once you start counting your blessings, you find out your luckier than you thought. It’s hard to not sit around and feel sorry for yourself when your going through shit, but it only hurts yourself in the end.

  9. Aw thanks for writing this, it made me feel better as I am, too, going through a rough patch but you’re completely right: there’s more to be happy about than I have realised lately.Yay! Happy holidays!

  10. Thank you for this. Thank you, thank you. I struggle with Christmas (as many other do) for many reasons. But, its simple really. Christmas is love. And if you don’t have it in one area you certainly do another. Thanks Dave :)P.S. In a purely non-stalker-ish way, I love you for helping to keep the Christmas spirit in me going. See! More love all around 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s