When the Cat’s Away…

Day 8 of the new year and things still don’t feel like they are back to normal around here. It still has the faint feeling of a ghost town, even though people are slowly starting to come back. At first I was a little dismayed by this, but then today I had sort of an epiphany. There is a certain freedom that comes with having no one around. So instead of bitching about the lack of activity around here, I’ve decided to instead enjoy that freedom while it lasts. 

Since No One Is Around…
-I can experiment more with my page. Everyone’s gone anyway so why not take a chance right? The first thing I think I’ll try is poetry. Here is a haiku:

Ovaltine is my
Favorite chocolate drink
Mmmm mmm Ovaltine!

Love it? Hate it? Who gives a shit. This post is not about impressing anyone. Its about freedom. Here’s another experiment:

-Sometimes the greatest stars are born in those, “ahh fuck it” moments. An “ahh fuck it” moment is either when you take a chance because you are part of a sinking ship anyway (Like in the movie Major League. The team sucked anyway so why not take a chance on the Wild Thing), or when a second or third stringer gets a chance because of a rash of injuries to oither guys (Think Drew Bledsoe and Tom Brady, or way back in the day Don Imus and Howard Stern). So in my “ahh fuck it” moment, I am going to turn the reins over to my boss. That’s right my boss. So without further ado my boss, a.k.a NYLegalGuy-

Hello Internet Geeks,

NYLegalGuy here. Yes I am really Dave’s boss and yes I am aware that he is on this crap sometimes at work. Its supposed to be limited to lunchtime and small little 5 minute breaks here and there, but I am not stupid. I know he sneaks on more than that. So here is my plea to you internet geeks. Stop paying attention to Dave so he can get back to fucking work. I like the kid. I don’t want to have to fire him. Times are tough. He might not find another job for months.

Okay thats enough experimenting. I’ve taken control back from him now. I told him he could write anything, but I was thinking he would just bitch about the Jets or something. Lesson learned.

-Aside from experimenting, I can enjoy my freedom by doing all the things I like to do when no one is around. For one thing I can listen to all the girly music that I want without worrying about who is around to give me shit about it. Here’s one of my favorite bitchy tunes…

Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone
I hear you call my name
And it feels like home


When you call my name its like a little prayer
Im down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know Ill take you there

Pretty feminine of me right? I can feel my breasts growing as I speak.

-Another thing I like to do when no one is around is walk around naked. Its just so liberating.

lounge censored
Just chillin. 

surfer censored
Silver Surfer is the man isn’t he? 

golf censored
Just hitting some balls. Don’t mind me.

-Okay last but not least, with so many xangans still noticably absent, I thought it would be fun to gossip about a few of them behind their backs. They’re not here to defend themselves so we can crap all over them with no consequences. Here I’ll start it off. You guys can continue in the comments…
Visit shuddertothink's Xanga Site Rumor has it that shuddertothink beat up a bum to get that supercool hat he’s rockin’. That’s not cool at all.

five A little birdie told me that five11nation likes to eat his boogers. Gross!

 I heard from a friend that theblackspiderman likes to videotape himself punching kittens in the face and then posts it on youtube. What a jerk!

Ahh what fun can be had when no one is around to judge you. I’m off to find more people to talk about.



  1. For the record, I AM HERE; so any smack-talking is right TO my face, not behind my back. Kinda takes the fun out of making crap up about your favorite 40-year old, huh? Whew. Glad I got that covered.You are one brave dude to let your boss onto your Xanga… I keep my addictions to myself, thanks. I’m already fearful of the number of work colleagues who have found me on Facebook! And, half of them are in other countries where it’s nighttime when I’m supposed to be working! Tell NYLegalGuy this is a necessary part of your employment… that if WE didn’t allow you your freedom in Xanga land, you just might lose your mind and start acting this way at work. If you already do these things at work (please, not the run around naked part!), my apologies to NYLegalGuy.I have noticed it’s slower on Xanga lately. Do you suppose there’s a rash of New Year’s resolutions to “spend less time on Xanga?” What would be the point of that?

  2. You crack me up! lol. Hilarious as always. Loved the haiku – randomosity is a wonderful look on you. *darn, no sneak of the nekkid pics, smh* madonna too? WOWZAS!and i agree with Snippie… you been putting a few back or something?

  3. Dave, life can be about experimentation and trying new things, and knowing what things are like from all angles.But for the love of God, do not, grow boobs.

  4. Great post!  Some times, you just have to stretch your legs and write some crazy stuff.  I’m still shocked you allowed your boss to write on your blog.  Crazy!  Nice poetry, by the way.  Ovaltine is good stuff.  And watch out with the growing boobs part.  You may never leave the house if they get too big.

  5. the censored pics are funny…. probably because I know you’re censoring NOTHING!! lol.My boss knows I’m an addicted blogger and he doesn’t care. I know he’s addicted to watching videos on break.com for 2 hours every afternoon. I guess we can call it even!

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