John Told Me To Be a Whore

So as many of you know by now, I am a fledgling stand up comedian. In New York City no less. Needless to say it is not easy. Some nights are way better than others. Saturday was a good night. A really good night.

I did my first show of the year on Saturday. I couldn’t wait to get on stage. I had so much material I wanted to try out, more than I even had time for. I was also excited because there was a good possibility that I had a special guest in attendance; Xanga John. I hadn’t met John before, so it was hard for me to know if he was there or not. All I knew was that I had five guests in attendance and I only knew of four. I was pretty sure the fifth was him.

I went on and did my set. I felt really good up there. I felt different than I had before. Its kind of hard to esxplain exactly, but you know how athletes say the game slows down for them as they progress, that is how things felt for me up on stage that night. When I went to the back I was congratulated by many of the other comics. The producer of the show came over and told me that the new stuff was brilliant. This does not happen very often.

After the show, John found me and introduced himself. It was so cool to finally meet. We went to a bar up the block afterwards and had some drinks. He is a really down to earth guy. We ended up talking for almost three hours. One of the things we talked about was how I need to learn how to market myself better. He told me that I’ve got the funny part down, now I need to learn how to be a whore. Yes a whore.

I told him I didn’t know how to be a good whore. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Here is where he brought up something I’ve been thinking about all week. He asked me what my angle is. As a comedian and as a writer, what is my angle? I have no frigging clue. At first I wasn’t sure what he meant. He explained that right now, my only angle is that I’m funny. That means that I am competing against 100% of comedians out there who all claim to be funny. Now say I was an angry lesbian comic. Now I am only competing against the 5% of comics who are angry lesbian.

“You need to find your angry lesbian.” That’s how he summed it all up in the end.

You know at first I had no clue what he was saying, but in the end it all made sense. What am I selling? Who am I selling it to? What sets me apart from all the other douchebags selling the same thing?

So Chris Rock’s angle is race, Lewis Black is an angry Jew, Jeff Foxworthy is a redneck (and he sucks). What is my angle for my stand up and my writing? Help me out here guys.

Oh and here’s a clip from Saturday

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73 comments

  1. I can’t tell you what your angle is from that funny clip.  It’ll find you. As long as you don’t box yourself in too much, getting a niche is a way to be memorable.  Create the character you want to be.  Good luck.  John sounds cool.

  2. Haha, your angle should totally be angry atheist! And say funny things about like all the religions or faiths in the world… I really liked the terrorist part, that’s funny!

  3. hahaha…niiiice. You could always go with the mixed race idea, that you could poke fun at both and get away with it, or I’ve heard of comedians that label themselves with a handicap they had from their past that they don’t feel uncomfortable to be known for. Maybe your angle is how to whore! jkjk.

  4. dammit, find that angry lesbian then.  john was so wise to point that out.  this is helping me as a writer too.  i gotta find that angry lesbian.  wait, i did have it and now i seem to have lost the edge.  i’m not as angry anymore.  are you on youTube?  i wanna see. 

  5. You’re so cute… And yeah, you need an angle. That was good advice. The crowd was really into you, it seemed like it went well and you had fun. I am happy for you!

  6. This was hilarious, but for the record, I’m offended. Deeply offended.For your slant … hmmmm. I probably wouldn’t make fun of Jesus (just in case) or anyone who can’t help what they are (the disabled, etc.). You are pretty funny making fun of racist/ignorant people … that might be good.

  7. You’re fantastic!  Hmmm… finding your inner angry lesbian.  You know, that could be your angle itself.  You can put out offers to any lesbians that want to help you find that inner lesbian!The whole marketing thing is what I hate about being a writer, too.  I write.  I’m not a business person!  Unfortunately, it’s an important part of selling yourself.

  8. dude he’s totally right.  you need a loosely defined nitch (not a stiff one like foxworthy, to me that bumpkin shit gets old) and you need to be loud about your ambitions.  i mean shit, someone could read your xanga site for a month before learning that you even do stand-up and where.tell people.  say it on xanga loud and often and say it anywhere else you go.  hand out cards for fuck’s sake.i have to tell you when i was watching that video, first of all i thought it was good stuff.  very funny.  but secondly, i was so excited to hear the audience having a good time.  it was a feeling of pride, like “YES, YESSSS!  they like my xanga friend!”i’ll give you my take on possible whore angles when ive given it more thought.

  9. I’m gonna make my way to NY soon, hopefully in February (since I’ll be in NJ for a while) so hopefully I’ll get to see you perform 🙂 I might even scream your name from the crowd (perhaps your xanga name for added flavor).

  10. very funny! good job. I wish I could offer advice, but I’m clueless as to how you would market yourself as a niche comedian. John’s advice is dead-on. as a performer though I’ll tell you – keep your hands out of your pockets – it makes you look bored or nervous. at least that’s what I’ve been told. for the most part you use your hands well in your act, but try to continue to do so, not default them into your jean pocket like a nervous teenager.

  11. brilliant!  Go John!  What a fabulous experience.  Great job   I wish I could help you with your situation here but I don’t have any good ideas other than the “angry blogger” idea … now that would be different! 

  12. You’re that guy who stands in someone else’s shadow; it’s an “everyman” routine, but that works because almost everyone can identify with it. You play it well, so stick with that (for now). Your delivery is good! I’d say you look around too much, though, pretend to make eye contact with a few people.Also be careful of misogyny — you risk losing half your audience that way 🙂

  13. hey, good luck with the comedy thing. I’ve been meaning to get started with some classes down at Comix this spring and maybe we’ll bump into each other on the circuit (if I ever get out there). you’ve got a great delivery and nice stage presence. keep me updated.

  14. Hmm. That was funny. As for an angle, I think its something you have to find yourself. Only you know you the best, and you have to be comfortable in your own skin for it to work well. But yea, I definitely think you can rule out angry lesbian, if that helps

  15. In corporate speak, Xanga John was telling you to market yourself and create your own niche. He’s right; but only you can choose a niche that’s comfortable for you and that you can fill up appropriately. I’d help out more; but I haven’t seen your act enough. Perhaps I need a trip to NYC for “marketing assistance…”

  16. No help here. I can’t even view the video clip right now.However, why haven’t I been invited to any of your shows?!! I’m leaving to ft.lewis in a month so if you’re doing anything between that time let me know! :-p

  17. “She’s a virgin? I woulda done her!”–CLASSIC!! I just saw this today. (That’s what I get for being out of touch with Xanga during the time period when you actually posted this.) One of these days, I am dragging my arse up to NY, and I will be at a show! Hilarious act, my friend. Hilarious!

  18. try making a list of things you’re most often stereotyped as…. then reduce it to most controversal.. and what people could relate to most…. maybe this could help?this is the first time i came across your page. if i knew you better, i wouldve been able to offer you better ideas…. :)either way, looks like you’re heading in the right direction. good luck!

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