I have read a lot of douchebag comments over the last few days, on my site as well as others. KrissyCole in particular had some real gems on her recently featured weblog (and hers was way more neutral than any of mine). As some of you may know I am sort of a defacto expert on douchebag comments. They are fascinating to me.
There are many kinds of douchebag comments out there. There’s the douchebag who is trying to be funny, but is not:
God, we gave you people reparation money – WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT – LeftWristTwist
The douchebag who did not even bother to read your post:
Not to be rude, but this is probably going to sound like that anyways. If you call George Bush a monkey, you can call President Obama a monkey. Just because someone thinks he looks like one, doesn’t mean they’re being racist. – Barby
The douchebag who just has to disagree with every single thing you said:
As for Respect. The song is Ottis Reddings’. He wrote it. It’s his song. Aretha Franklin merely performed it. – wolfe359
And last but not least, my favorite douchebag of all, the worst of the worst, the incredibly condescending douchebag who is gonna do their best to show everyone that they are smart and you are stupid:
The groundswell of popular opinion against the rampant liberal dictates and Obama’s concurrent decline in popularity is starting to shake up the powers that be. Certainly, the cartoon is mild compared to the standard and hate-filled anti-Right fare you find almost everywhere else. That the liberals, however, have responded to it with opposition bordering on hysteria indicates that they are very worried indeed… Thus, their intent to re-institute the “Fairness Doctrine” and, as we see, their skittishness whenever one lone newspaper exists to counter their near monopoly on the media. For tyranny to flourish, it must control all aspects of public discourse.
BTW: The liberal media is further showing its ongoing collusion in propaganda by deceitfully labelling the NY Post statement as an apology. I’m sure we’ve all seen this kind of thing before. We will again… many times. – STEVENPILL
So here is what Kriss and I decided to do. Instead of trying to think of some douch-ish reply to throw back at each and every one of these people, we have decided to just come out and say exactly what we feel. Blunt and to the point.
We are better than you douchebags! In every way. We are smarter, classier, and certainly more tactful. We are more articulate (no matter many SAT words you use), more interesting, and infinitely more well-liked.
In short we are the xanga elite. We even made a group for it.
We are now accepting applications. – The Xang-Elitists
Sidenote – Top 10 albums that violate will be up today (hopefully).