Censor This Xanga!

Douchebag, Screwed, Butt, Pimp, Pissed, Bitch, Crapped, Whorehouse, Shitfaced, Asshole, Dickhead, Sluttacious, Whore, Mothafucka, Balls, Nigga, Shit, Scraped, Hobag, and (my personal favorite) Albums.

(Note: There is a point to this. Bear with me.)

Did you see that last one? “Albums.” Yeah that word was censored in my post today.
Seriously? Cause it has the word “bum”? “Bum” is what goody two shoes moms call their children’s asses isn’t it? 

I was so amused by this that I decided to make this post. If it makes it to the front page, the whole first part will be completely covered in stars like this ***. Users won’t be able to see one complete word until “and”. I wanted to tell a story using all of the words up top, but since users won’t be able to see them I had to get creative. Here is how it came out:

My cousin has always been a real a****** cavernous region located in you rear parts. He has never been able to get a girl because he always acts like such a d******* sack used to hold fluid in a feminine hygiene product around them. There was one girl I thought he had gotten lucky with because she was a real hobag loose woman. She was always wearing the most s***tacious unflattering and unladylike things and I knew she wanted him. One night at a party I saw her drag him into a room while they were both s***faced  highly innebriated. I asked her about it the next day and she said, “This m********* annoying man fell asleep as soon as we got int the room!” That’s when I decided that he was s****ed in dire straits. If I didn’t step in and help, this d***head tip of the male genitalia was going to die a virgin.

So I went home and scraped meagerly gathered up some cash. I was a bit low on funds so I had to sell some of my Norah Jones al***s discs which contain music to compensate. I went to my cousin’s house, put a blindfold on him, and drove him out to the nearest w****house residence where prostitution is conducted. He almost c***ped defacated in his pants when I took the blindfold off. At first he was scared to go in, but I told him I would kick him in the b**** groin if he didn’t.

When we went in we were greeted by a very straightforward p*** merchant of sexual intercourse. “Whassup n**** my African American brother, you got my money?” I handed him the cash as my cousin was led away by one of his finest w****s women of the night. An hour later the w**** exotic arts professional came back out. She looked p***ed very annoyed! “All this b**** less than manly man wants to do is talk. I even told him he could do it in my b*** posterior region! Still nothing!”

As my cousin came out all I could do is shake my head and laugh. “You are a real b**** a** m******** cowardly and pitiful person, but I love you anyway.”

The End




  1. Dave, this is too hot for tv.since when did Andrew Dice Clay ghostwrite for you?  i like the “McCarthyism” tag.  i bet you’re a C*mm*n*st, after all.  THEY would approve of censorship, you know.Xanga doesn’t want b**ms… but they do allow tr***s, apparently.  weirdos.

  2. LOL!!! I’m amused they censored that word, and I think this response is one of the most hilarious things I’ve read in a very long time! 

  3. This is what happens when the censorship is too rigid, as if considering the Sussex university’s website as a “porn site”. Xanga needs to change its censorship system/program.

  4. LOL….They are really going out of control with all that censorship. I wonder what the reason is! I don’t think its just to be jerks…or maybe its for fun…but there has to be a reason, right?Ah well…

  5. I wish this would make it to top blogs, I’d love to see that.They censored Butt when someone had put buttons.Its so stupid.Oh, I Love the McCarthy tag.

  6. Wait, are we protecting children from ALBUMS now?? I’m still trying to figure out the whole censor system. Initially, I thought the censored words were things you’d never here Jesus say. But when did Jesus start hatin’ albums?? I mean, I know they bout as obsolete as 8-Tracks, but am I risking hellfire everytime I talk about my vinyl collection? (vinyl as in records, ya pervs)

  7. bums are a detriment to American society. The top 10 bums have off the books sucked so much money from this nations economy of course xanga would want to censor them.

  8. @john – I don’t mind being censored, so long as I am up there. I just see the comedy in it is all. Come on John you gotta admit having Album censored is kinda funny. Especially considering how many truly censor-worthy words I use sometimes (This post being a casie in point).BTW I never heard back from you last week.

  9. @CiaoBella810 – I am sure that they are using technology that has “buzz” letter combinations. That’s the only thing that makes sense. It can’t be a person. It’s pretty dang funny, what gets censored. @john – No way. The frontpage is great–just the way it is!

  10. @mrsprosa – Was that by Snippies. I think I remember that.@Kestryl – you have my blessing.@jewjewbeedragon – was your birthday video strewn with foul language?@misswonderj – It just means you have an expansive vocabulary.@tulipsinspring – thank you. lol.@CiaoBella810 – It’s just the system they use. The word combos it looks for. I hope they don’t change it. This shit is fun.@DommieGirlLovie –  thanks for the tag love. Very few people pay attention to the tags.

  11. @MyxlDove – Jesus must have an ipod.@SnippiesBlog – I saw some people talking about an anal sex post. Was that yours?@iStephanieMarie – haha. buddar. you are so friggin silly sometimes.@Bricker59 – I am ashamed of myself.@Cearce – you leave great comments. I must come visit now.@shinymeshapples – nah the story is made up. lol.@kim – I hope your unborn baby wasn’t listening.@maniac_rose – I apologize. You can always get another one.

  12. You have got to be messing with us right?  You actually got censored over the word “albums”?Oh yeah….I’m just SURE they’d love my Vag Chronicles then…..I love your revenge….a man after my own heart..lol!

  13. Gosh – Xanga does censorship? And of words within words? Guess I’d better not write anything about how I enjoy reading Dickens and other classics! Dicks and asses must not be tolerated!

  14. I’ve noticed that Xanga has been censoring portions of completely harmless words. The button one was brought up, and there have been many others.Great post (I think you’ve proven your point). Thanks for the laugh,Taylor

  15. I noticed that the word album was censored…I was thinking….wuhhhh, there’s a word that starts with an “al” and ends with a “m” that needs to be censored?  Where was I when this happened?  hahaNow, we all know “album” is a no-no word.

  16. Grammatical thing. It took me a minute to understand what your last phrase meant. Unless you add a comma between “CENSOR THAT” and “XANGA!” You leave your readers asking, “wait, which Xanga are we censoring?”

  17. I was once censored on another web forum site for typing “Spoon”Apparently it’s okay on their to say all the “7 words you can’t say on TV” in their site, but not spoon.That’s so spoonist!! :PI still to this night wonder if it was a site populate by fork supremacists!! lol 🙂

  18. Oh my!!! And, I thought I was bad! ~kidding~ I think something like that might make me lose a few and drop a few bombs myself Venting is totally called for.

  19. @vanedave – lmfao…….its a universal language….i’m not technically bilingual but I can cuss in three languagesSorry I missed you last night I was just watching and damn who needs AI when they got Vanedave singing Tenacious D!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s