Timing is everything.
We as a society have grown more and more cynical with time. With the advent of the information age, cynicism has reached an all time high. I often wonder what would happen if certain biblical events were transposed to today.
I think it’s a bit easier to believe that Noah built an ark and put two of EVERY animal on it thousands of years ago than it would be to believe that he did it last month. Would we believe that Mary was a virgin mother if she made that announcement today? Most didn’t even believe her in her time. Many of the stories (like the story of Mary) sound like fodder for an episode of Jerry Springer.
My favorite story in the bible is the story of lot. It is the ultimate example of why the bible should not be taken literally. If the story of Lot took place today it would read like a horrible tabloid news article. Let’s go through the highlights.
GOD was having a discussion with his servant, Abraham. GOD said, “The people living in the
villages of Sodom and Gomorra cities of New York and San Francisco are terrible. They do not follow the will of God… I will simply kill them all.
…”If you cannot find one good man in that
village of Sodom city of New York, I will kill them all.”
…”Open the door”, cried the men of
Sodom New York.
“What do you want,” said Lot.
“You know what we want. We want to have sex with those two men that are in your house. That is what we want.”, said the men.
“I will tell you what,” said Lot. “I have two virgin daughters. They have never been with a man. I will turn them out and you can fulfill all of your sexual desires with my two daughters. Do with them what you will. Just do not touch the two men who are guests in my house.”
That is just jacked up. Who would get away with something like that today? But it gets worse. Check out what happens after God brings down the fire and the brimstone.
Finally, after some days, one daughter said to the other. “Now, we are all alone. All the people of our
village of Sodom city of New York are dead. We have nothing left. We also have no men to become our husbands. We have only our father left. What shall we do?”
Finally, the two virgin daughters hit upon a plan. They found some grapes. They made them into wine. They prepared the wine for their father. Their father, not knowing what their plan was, drank the wine. Finally, their father became completely drunk. They carried Lot into his cave and laid him down.
One daughter left the other alone with Lot in the cave. The daughter in the cave with Lot had sex with her father. Lot was completely drunk and did not know what he was doing. The next day, Lot had no memory of this.
The next night, the two daughters brought some more wine. Lot drank the wine and got drunk again. Again, they took them into his cave. This time, the other daughter had sex with her father. The next morning, Lot had no memory of any of this.
Virgins, rape, incest. This story has got it all. Tell me these people would not be the most reviled people ever by today’s standards. Tell me we wouldn’t find this the most disgusting thing ever. Under today’s standards this is just sick behavior, yet somehow since it happened thousands of years ago, it becomes holy writ. It becomes morally relevant. I don’t think so.
So tell me this, how would Jesus be received today? Would we need an accompanying youtube video before we believed in any of his miracles? Water into wine? I gotta see this! Walking on water or CGI?
Which celebrities would he have to befriend in order to win over public opinion? Or maybe he would be a celebrity himself.
In all honesty, I think it’s more likely he would be in an asylum with all the rest of the people who claim that they are the messiah. But that’s just me.