How To Get On My Good Side

So I am sure some of you have seen this new Serious Cat/ Serious Dog crap. Don’t worry if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you aren’t missing anything. I only bring this up because yesterday I did something kind of out of character. I completely flipped out on this Serious Dog character for spamming my page. Here is how it went down.

I received this comment from I_Am_Serious_Dog on my entry: “Verbal Warfare Day 2”-

Serious dog walks up to you and pees on your leg. He now barks and whines at you. Your friend wants you to take him home. What do you do?

I responded with this on her page (I think it’s a girl) –

Let me tell you about me. I am a pretty cool laid back guy. I have a site that gets a decent amount of traffic and with that traffic comes some less than favorable feedback. I also ge a shit ton of spam mass messages and annoying shit of that nature.

Now look. I don’t know who you are and i frankly don’t give a fuck who you are. Don’t fucking spam my site anymore. I take it as a sign of disrespect. You want me to help promote your site, then get to know me, write something worthwhile, and I will.

I don’t give a fuck what kind of joke this is, I don’t give a fuck who thinks this is funny, I don’t give a fuck if you are xanga John in disguise, KEEP YOUR BULLSHIT OFF MY PAGE!

Okay I was pissed. Probably way more pissed than I should have been, but damn that was annoying. I have been on go nonstop for the past three days. I have been juggling emails from twenty people and comments from how many others. I have already had to deal with a few douchebags this week. Now I am getting spammed by a fucking dog?

Then I received these two comments on my page in return-

Ruff

Ruff

Now you would think that would have put me more over the edge right? Well it didn’t. It actually made me stop and look at myself for a sec. I had this little back and forth going in my head between my common sense and my ego:

Common Sense: Dave you are arguing with a fucking fake dog you asshole.
Ego: NAH SON! I warned that fucking dog once already. That dog is goin’ down!
Common Sense: You know how stupid that just sounded right. Just ignore it like you ignore all of the other crap on here.
Ego: THAT DOG SPAMMED ME YO! You know I don’t play that shit!
Common Sense: You know that dog thing is probably someone you know. They are probably laughing their ass off right now. Come on now cut it out. You are embarassing us.
Ego: You’re right. I’mma chill for the moment. But if that dog fucks with us again IT’S ON!

So in the end common sense won out. That comment just really got on my bad side for a moment. I think spam comments above all else are a good way to get on my bad side. It is the absolute worst way to get me interested in your site. You want me to check out your site, then get on my good side. It’s not hard. You don’t have to be a “popular” to grab my attention.

– You can write something undeniably awesome. Like this guy.

– You can leave extremely witty and thoughtful comments. Like she does.

– You can make me laugh in the BFN chatroom. Like this fellow.

– You can antagonize me in an intelligent, yet playful manner. Like a certain smartass woman.

– You can be a sweetheart of a human being. Like this fine lady.

– You could be my xanga mom. Or my most loyal of readers.

I am not that difficult really. Just don’t be a douche is all I ask. Is that too much? Huh?