I had some ice cream cake yesterday at work. It was some old guy’s birthday, so we gathered in the break room, and sang a happy song, and ate some ice cream cake. It was good. I really needed some ice cream cake in my life this week.
I wrote a rather colorful rant the other day and many of you stopped by to offer some kind words. I appreciated every single one. Thank you all. Many of you wanted to know how I am feeling now. Well, the most accurate thing is to say I am feeling better. Not quite good, but better. I am certainly not in the same broken mindset as I was on Monday.
I don’t often talk about stuff like that, but my mind was just stuck. I was very, very angry. I still am to some degree, but I made a conscious decision yesterday while staring at that ice cream cake. At first I refused to have any. I sat there looking at all those happy people and I found myself wanting to mush the cake in all of their faces. The jubilation was just a bit much for me. Especially the phony “hey let’s sing for this old guy we never talk to” variety. I had to stop myself right away. I was being a bitter little shit, and that my friends is not me.
I looked at the ice cream cake that was being passed around and thought to myself, “What are you doing Dave? You love ice cream cake. Everyone loves ice cream cake. It’s delicious! With the vanilla and the chocolate and the little crunchies. How can you pass this up? Why would you pass this up? Cause your brothers pissed you off two days ago? So you are gonna let them take this delicious cake away from you? What the hell kind of sense does that make? Go get a slice of that cake man. You’ll enjoy it. And be sure to fucking smile when you eat it too. You can’t stay this mad. It is not good for you.” So I had some ice cream cake and it was delicious.
And you know what, it actually made me feel a little better. It made me realize that with all the bullshit that goes on, there is always ice cream cake to fall back on. It may be a temporary fix, but damnit it’s good. Sometimes we just need good things to focus on, no matter how small they may be.