I Have An Answer For Everything…

Some days I’m nice, somedays I’m not.

Some days I’m in a good mood, some days I’m not.

I’m tired (looong week at work) and I’m broke (thanks taxes). Right about now, EVERYTHING annoys me. Everywhere I look I see something else that makes me want to punch a random stranger in the chest. I’m sick of this shit.

I tried to be civil xanga. I really did. I tried using reason but, as my friend Shirlann always reminds me, that can prove to be quite the exercise in futility around here. I tried attacking the problem with humor. It just doesn’t seem to work. It’s time I said exactly what’s on my mind. Names will be named (a few at least), feelings will be hurt, and I will not give a shit either way.

MY ANSWERS TO ALL OF YOUR ANNOYING CRAP!!!
“Teabag Party on my page”
– Nice false advertising asshole!

“It’s time for a revolution in this country” – Since when did it become so hard to be white middle class?

“God frowns on the gays” – Shut the fuck up.

“Hey I’m gay. Does that mean God hates me.” – No. Now shut the fuck up.

GreekPhysique – Do you really know it all, or is that just an act?

“I hate the ish sites!” – Really? I didn’t get that from the first million times you said it.

Mancouch – Please consider a name change to Mancouch.

People who complain about people who complain (this includes me I guess) – Mind your damn business hippies.

Anyone who is doing tribute blogs and hasn’t done one for me yet – Get on board or get the hell out!

Rhett and Link – Welcome to xanga. You’re on my turf now bitches.

People who suck at poetry – Just stop it. Just cause something is in poem form does not make it creative… or good.

People who are fed up with xanga – Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Kestryl and Kontzicles – We’re cool… for today at least.

Matthew Smith – Stop tricking white people. Maybe a consider a name change? How about Malik Shabazz?

Skinny People – I hope you choke on some celery and die.

Fat People – Should you become skinny one day, stay as nice as you were when you were fat.

People who leave me comments like “OMG! I JUST PEED MYSELF A LITTLE I LAUGHED SO HARD!!!” and don’t even bother to rec – Thanks alot you fucking freeloaders.

People who will call me a comment whore for that last comment – Go play in traffic.

AntiSoccermom – Just because no one has complained about her in a couple of days.

“This entry was too long. I just read the title and went straight to the comment section” – That’s cause you have the attention span of an underdeveloped six year old, you blithering idiot.

END TRANSMISSION

Edit: To all the cute little puppies and kittens…

puppies_kittens
FUCK ALL Y’ALL!!! 

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113 comments

  1. real name, huh?  hm.  not my fault.  i didn’t name myself.  haha.don’t hate me just because i always get job interviews, because employers can’t discriminate against me for having a name they can’t pronounce.

  2. This sounds like a good idea. So good ol’ blog purging. But since I’m not the one to follow trends, I’ll just forget about it. Oh, and I’m REC’ing, but only because I WANT to… not because of any pressure from YOU.

  3. just to piss you off, i’m going to leave a comment about how buttroaringly hilarious i thought your comments to the comments were and then leave 0 erops. OH SNAP!!!but no, really, i did laugh at the mancouch thing.

  4. O.M.G….LISTEN TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!… oh wait. i’m being nice today.. Aw, Davey… I’m so sorry… I will sympathize with your issues respectively:MY ANSWERS TO ALL OF YOUR ANNOYING CRAP!!!”Teabag Party on my page” – Nice false advertising asshole! I didn’t know what that meant.. so I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and RAAAANNN to his page.. no douce. We call that attention seeking.. Or maybe he’s fundamental and needs kicks because he isn’t fun..but mental…“It’s time for a revolution in this country” – Since when did it become so hard to be white middle class? It is extremely difficult to stay angry all the time. So we watch fox news. This generally gets us riled up enough to send out mass emails that get forwarded around the country and reminds the rest of us to stay angry.. ALL THE TIME.“God frowns on the gays” – Shut the fuck up. God loves everyone.. except you. because God only loves people with BIG things.. and it’s a fact that Gays have everything on a grander scale….“Hey I’m gay. Does that mean God hates me.” – No. Now shut the fuck up. See the above answer. it’s universal. Thank you very much. come again. NOT.GreekPhysique – Do you really know it all, or is that just an act?  He really does know everything. I will not tell you how I know this.. It’s confidential.“I hate the ish sites!” – Really? I didn’t get that from the first million times you said it. I have caught “you” on the ish sites.. leaving snarky comments. Did you not drink your Kool-aid this morning? I talked to your mom and she said she left it in your lunch box.Mancouch – Please consider a name change to Mancouch. Women are on the rise to take over the world. Couches in general should be left on your front lawn, pillow seating is more applicable to your pansy sex.People who complain about people who complain (this includes me I guess) – Mind your damn business hippies. I suppose it’s impossible to mind your own business when you live in a hobo camp.Anyone who is doing tribute blgs and hasn’t done one for me yet – Get on board or get the hell out! I don’t know what you’re talking about.. ELeL did one for you!!!Rhett and Link – Welcome to xanga. You’re on my turf now bitches. They have nooooothing on you… you are SOOSOSOSOSOS much funnier. They are like. eh. funny. People who suck at poetry – Just stop it. Just cause something is in poem form does not make it creative… or good. Listen. If you would like to bleed your heart out in poetry, make it a protected post.. and DON”T PUT ME ON THE LIST.People who are fed up with xanga – Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. That’s the nice way of putting it…Kestryl and Kontzicles – We’re cool… for today at least. Remember this is a one day only deal.Matthew Smith – Stop tricking white people. Maybe a consider a name change? How about Malik Shabazz? Tell him, Dave. I tried to set up a counselling appointment for his condition. He refused saying that He likes the ladies and attention too much.The rest… blah blah blah.. we agree.

  5. You are causing the top thing on my universal inbox to be ‘Someone (and ….. others) have recommended…..’. Its annoying. And dont you dare respond with ‘you’re annoying’. I am not annoying. I am great. 

  6. Do you know what I find interesting, my friend? Two different people read THIS blog where you tagged me as your friend (and blissfully didn’t include me in your rant… LOL) then went straight over to MY site and gave me friend requests. Mind you, they didn’t comment on EITHER site! WTH? Do they not see my long-standing rant about lurkers? My only words of wisdom here are this: People are stupid. So, we really shouldn’t be so surprised when they say & do stupid things, should we? Yet, here we are.

  7. I got a comment once about what I wrote being this girl’s “favorite blog evarrrrr” but there was no rec.  Incongruent.  Or maybe too stupid to know to hit the little heart thingy.  Either way I block idiots.You hit every major food group here soooo rec.

  8. Hee-hee…. Tell us how you really feel!  I love a man that doesn’t hold back. Now you know, you just said everything that everyone else really wants to say, but won’t.

  9. Way to call Matt out.  Also, he mentioned you agree with me that he isn’t in nearly as much dramatic Xanga shit storms as he should be.  I sense an opportunity for awesomeness.

  10. (Takes you for a walk on the pier, buys you a fantastic meal and excellent brew (or two or three). Listens as your anger fades away and your eyes lock on the ocean and natural beauty and fun people around you. Watches as the smile returns to your face) 

  11. @TheTheologiansCafe – Wait a sec, I thought you were an ish site.@woodrowwilson – dude I’ve been meaning to tell you. Matt and I were talking about doing a sports discussion post. You in?@Kontzicles – okay parts of this were borderline treaty violations, but overall it was a nice comment. Pluse it made me laugh.And you will very rarely find me making snarky remarks on an ish site.

  12. @vanedave – ohhhhh NO… this was directed at all the people YOU directed comments too.. so when I said “you” I meant the general annoying public… not YOU YOU, Sweetie!!!! I am not going to be rude to you on our special day, I’m saving up for tomorrow

  13. @elelkewljay – yeah. You avoided my wrath. lol.@Axis_of_Doom – she is the best to argue with.@Shirlann – I guess its the audacity of hope that keeps us coming back. You like my book reference there?@impossibleangles – lol. Every major food group huh?@saintvi – I loved it.@hecticmuse – you asshole.@beli_grrl – No one is safe.@Ima_BearKat – Nap. Definitely the nap.@mixedbabiesrock – Matt won’t fight me. He is too traumatized by his deathmatch defeat. @Jaynebug – Damnit. Too bad I am stuck here in Queens in front of a cpu screen. That would totally work.

  14. @AnamcharaConcepts – LOL! What’s even funnier is that I meant that comment for vanedave; I just clicked yours by mistake… OOPS! Sorry, I let my sarcasm show again. I’ll try to keep that covered up… just don’t go to my blog today or I’ll blow it again. (pun intended… you’ll get it if you see the video)

  15. Aw. Dave. I wish I could sit down and have a slice of chocolate chip banana bread with you, Little One, and Egg-scaliber. I would just sit there, pour you a glass of milk, and let you rant.

  16. You are forcing me to timestamp my response post! lol  By the way, I’m impressed that a native New Yorker knows the plural of “y’all” is “all y’all.” You’re showing your southern roots there.

  17. Geez, Dave. Check my medicine cabinet. I’m sure I have some Pamprin in there. Just to add my two cents, though… to the people who think I’m nice because I don’t know how to NOT be nice… take a long hard look at my high-yellow middle finger. And have a nice day.

  18. Man(couch) I really hate those “ish” sites because I’m gay and God frowns down on me and the revolution I want to start in this country because of the people who complain about people who complain when they write their tribute blog because they suck at poetry so it’s Xanga’s fault that the skinny people choke on their celery and the fat people are so nice they help them do the hiemlich then laugh so hard they pee at something Antisoccermom said when she called Vandave a comment whore and didn’t even read this sentence because it was too long.=P

  19. This was amusing except for the “Skinny People” part. Eating disorders aren’t something to be laughed at. Well, pro-ana sites are idiotic, but if someone (like me) is writing about their issues for their own catharsis, then they shouldn’t be made fun of.

  20. O-Okay.Now, this blog entry makes ME want to punch YOU. If I could seriously do that. I won’t. But I just can’t resist this…“People who suck at poetry – Just stop it. Just cause something is in poem form does not make it creative… or good.”It is better to write ANY kind of poetry, whether they suck or not than ALL of this annoying crap that has been flooding Xanga: sex, my ex left me, sex, my ex left me. BOO-HOO. Puh-lease! THOSE are the kind that make it to Top Blogs?! This is probably the main reason why there is an increase of teens going crazy and doing shooting rampages. People are always blogging and reading and writing about sex and ex’s. MOVE ON, people!“People who are fed up with xanga – Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.There is a difference between “Xanga” AND the “people” who are in Xanga. There is nothing wrong with the Xanga website. There is however, something wrong with the people in Xanga. Especially the ones who have nothing better to do than to write something that has been written 10 times over!

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