Soap Operas For Men…

This is what the world of Sports has turned into. One big huge friggin soap opera. 

The games are just not enough anymore. We have become drama a society of drama addicts and there is no rehab that can fit us all in. Almost everyday you turn to Sportscenter the lead story is not what happened on a playing field, its what happened off. Most days you have to wait 10 – 15 minutes before you can see one home run, or one guy get dunked on. 

Would someone please shut Sal Paolantonio the hell up so I can see some damn highlights!
I gotta be at work in half an hour

The past year has been a pretty amazing year in Sports. Just take a look at the NFL. We had a season where the Tennessee Titans nearly went undefeated, the Patriots rallied around Matt Cassell to go 11-5 and miss the playoffs because of a Dolphins team that was 11-5 the year after losing like 50 games, Drew Brees challenged Dan Marino’s single season passing record for yards, and of course we had the Arizona Cardinals make a magical run to their first Super Bowl before losing to the Steelers in one of the greatest games ever. Yet when we look back on last season the first thing we think of is stupid ass Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the leg. (Not to completely overlook the Cowboys’ dumbass dynamic duo of Pacman Jones and Terrell Owens.)

It used to be that these things were kept fairly separate. You think this is a new phenomenom? Athletes are egomaniacal by nature. You think they didn’t do dirt back in the day? Of course they did. We just didn’t turn each incident of stupidity into the spectacle that we do now. I am not saying that we shouldn’t nail Donte Stallworth to the cross for killing someone while driving drunk. That is a serious crime. But do we need ten minutes of coverage on this story everyday for three weeks. No. He committed a crime, he got arrested, let me know when his sentence is passed down. That is all I need. I don’t need to see Roger Cossack’s (ESPN legal analyst) old ass on every episode of NFL Live.

Roger Cossack
Donte Stallworth met with a judge today to request the top bunk in whatever cell he is going to be residing in.
Stallworth’s lawyers expressed to the judge that their client would feel less vulnerable to anal rapings from the top bunk. 

In the end I really don’t even know why I’m writing this. Things are too fargone for anything to change. We can never go back to a time where a Roger Clemens rookie card is worth more than a Rusty Hardin (Clemens’ lawyer) rookie card. Drama is as much a part of the sports world today as performance enhancing drugs are. The sooner I come to terms with this the better. I guess writing this is just a form of therapy for me. You know something, now that I think of it I feel a little better already. Still, if I only had someone to blame for all of this. If only there were some convenient scapegoat I could pin this downward spiral on…

…Wait a sec. I’ve got it!!!

Damn you OJ! This is all your fault!!!



  1. Again, loving the tags.Yes, sports is now more a male soap opera than inspiring. I suspect part of the reason is the 24-hour news cycle and cable sports channels. It used to be that for sports coverage you had to rely on 5 minutes during the 6:00 newscast and a few pages out of the newspaper. Now you have several channels which do nothing except cover sports. And they have to have something to fill the time.

  2. Well…sports was always kind of about drama. The struggle between two teams to dominate. Now the media has taken over the drama of sports and turned it into a replica of everything else they do: Gossip Girl.

  3. You’re trying to blog about sports on Xanga? Do you think people that sit around at their computer all day blogging about whatever pops into their head are really concerned with sports? They’re too busy watching their monitor to turn on the television!  P.S: If you really wanna see a male soap opera, watch the WWE!

  4. Again, totally Jon Stewart-worthy my dear. Let’s face it, though, this kind of drama isn’t limited to the sports world; it’s pervasive throughout our society these days… I keep hoping the pendulum will swing back; but I suspect you may be right–it’s too far gone now. Blech.

  5. I still get a little flustered when I think about the Super Bowl game this year. Even my family members say to each other when one’s getting antsy, “Whoa. Take it easy. You’re not Laryssa, and this isn’t the Super Bowl.” For sers.And I’ve thought about you said, Dave, and you’re probably right. Because if we did an analysis of how often I used to fall asleep during Sportscenter, in comparison to how often I do now, one could make the conjecture that 1. I’ve developed narcolepsy recently, or 2. Sportscenter is boring the hell out of me.Hm.

  6. You picked a great picture of good ol’ OJ, too! Hubby hates that we hear about all the off-field stuff now. (But I think he is still mad because his mint condition Darryl Strawberry rookie card is worthless because of the media reporting his off-the-field adventures.)

  7. your tags are incorrect, sir. I blog about sports plenty. :Pbut yeah, ESPN is really insufferable sometimes, especially this time of year. when everyone is on about OMG NFL DRAFT AAGH even though there are so many great players who either went in like the 6th round or didn’t get drafted at all. seriously, put your pants back on, folks.

  8. drama and sports have ALWAYS gone hand in hand. every time muhammad ali opened his mouth something crazy happened.the sports world nearly shut down when magic said he was hiv positive.the US hockey’s team win over Russia in ’84(?) was a symbolic victory for the west.i know those probably don’t speak to the spirit of your post, which seems to be more about drama in the primadonna sense, but i still don’t think much has changed. there ain’t no going back because we’re already there.

  9. I wonder if anyone really enjoys watching all this nonsense… I personally am sick of all the off the field coverage, and I don’t know anyone who isn’t. It’s possible that ESPN simply is using a technique that they believe is effective that in reality is not. They have such a stranglehold on the industry that they may just be able to get away with this.

  10. The “good” stories of sports never come out.  The over-paid, talented moron always shines in his moment of stupidity.  Now even though sports has its own self-generated drama, they had to go ahead and create a reality version for us all to endure even more in the UFC Ultimate Fighter. There is a little more soap opera for you boys to enjoy.Hey, one questions…. why didn’t you mention the magical 0-16 Detroit Lions 2008 season, lol….

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