Xanga is my Mistress.

Let me first put this out on the table. I am not the cheating type. I’ve known this about myself for a long time and I think my lady knows it pretty well too. With that being said, I have a confession to make. For the past year I have had a mistress, and her name is xanga…

…or at least that’s how it feels sometimes.

My girl has a great love/hate relationship with my xanga. On the one hand she really enjoys my writing, and on the other hand she feels like she has to compete with xanga for my attention on a daily basis. Some of the most heated arguments we have ever had, have been because of xanga. Each time we fought, I knew in the back of my mind that she just felt a bit neglected. Still, I just couldn’t let her badmouth my mistress and get away wth it. I would tell her over and over, “I love xanga okay. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you too. I love both of you.”

lamp
I LOVE LAMP!!!
 

Over time we’ve learned to compromise. Each time she is over and I reach for my laptop, I have to make little mini pleas with her to keep her from getting angry. “I’m just going to update my timestamp and then I’ll log off.” Whenever she tells me she wants to have a day for just us one of the primary conditions is always “NO XANGA!”. And of course, as in any successful relationship, sometimes I lie to keep the peace. Here are a few common scenarios:

Scenario # 1
Me: Hey babe, I am going to be home a little late today. My boss wants me to finish this report for tomorrow morning. *Secretly working on Perez_on_x prank.*
Woman: No problem babe. You want me to pick up some dinner for you?
Me: That would be great. You’re the best!

Scenario # 2
Me:
Hey babe, I don’t think tomorrow would be a good day for you to come over. I think I am going to go hit the gym with Lew and Gary.
Woman: Aww okay. I’ll miss you.
Me: Yeah, I’ll miss you too baby. *Types on cpu: Hey everyone, xangaTV tomorrow at 9 ET!!!*

Scenario # 3
*Sitting in room cruising xanga, when my girl busts in*
Woman:
What are you doing up here?
Me: Uhhhh, nothing! *Switches screen to porn website.*
Woman:
You were on xanga weren’t you!
Me: No. I was just looking at porn. I swears it!
Woman: Alright then. It better be just porn.

I can already feel some of you judging me. “How could you lie to her like that?” Ahhh shut up already with all that.

liar
Suck it Jiminy Cricket! You think you’re better than me?

 Would you rather I post significantly less? Would you rather half my posts be bitchy and whiny because I am constantly in a sour mood as a result of me being nagged by my woman? I thought not. This way, everybody wins.

Does your SO ever get jealous of the time you spend on xanga?
If so, tell them to shut their damn piehole and deal with it… or you can be smart like me.

 

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144 comments

  1. Well, no. I have no girlfriend, so I can devote all my time to Xanga. I am going to make sweet monkey love to Xanga’s lady Vagina parts and we are going to have many baby Ish sites together.

  2. Hahaha.  If I had a SO, I’m sure it would be an issue.  But, I don’t, so, it’s not.  Though, I’ve had my share of fights in the past over MySpace or the computer in general.  But Xanga is a necessary evil…plus, she’s hot!

  3. What the Flintstones? Were you just looking at my diary?!  My husband HATES Xanga and the crazy amount of time I spend on here.  One of these days he’s going to strangle my CPU.  I just know it.  At least he doesn’t read it…

  4. Ha, we met on Xanga. Plus, there’s no way he takes second place to anything.I definitely don’t have the love affair with this place that the rest of you kids do.

  5. lmao I swears it!!Xanga is hell on relationships……the fact that you can keep them both up is amazing!But we all need at least one dirty little secret……xanga is definatly mine!

  6. I don’t know which is more disturbing… the fact that you and your sweetie fight over Xanga or that you’d actually do an entire post about that fact.

  7. My EX so told me that if I put as much time into our non existent relationship as I give to xanga, then we might be happy (he’s delusional). The little thing is though, I LIKE xanga. I even LOVE xanga. So haha. Xanga doesn’t bitch at me, when she does I can hit delete —Igot the powerOkay- boy do I feel better!!  Xanga is my SO

  8. My hubby loves my Xanga. He reads it everyday (cause by the time he gets home im too tired to talk since ive been on xanga all day.) So its his way of getting to know me.

  9. Just remember to rock your two-legged baby nice and slow and shut the other one down. If you get the two confused, that’s when the trouble starts.Chillin’ In The CutPoetesshue/Hues of Poetry

  10. It’s the same way with the wife. I give Xanga most of my attention while I’m at work, because I’m an incredible multi-tasker. lol But when I get home, logging onto Xanga is like being caught sneaking a drink in the church bathroom.   The only reason I was able to do XTV that one time is because she was out of town visiting her sister.  I mean, who wants to hear me try to sing while being berated by an angry woman in the background??

  11. If something like xanga is stopping you from doing everyday things then you seriously have a problem. Its sad to see that your girlfriend feels the need to be competing for attention against a website.

  12. my gf gets aggrivated sometimes when i’m on the computer “reading and commenting various blogs”  (i’ve never told her i have a xanga account), and i’m on xanga a pidley fraction of the time that many of you are.  my ass hurts and i start to feel my sanity melt away if i sit at the computer too long.  but hey, that’s just me.

  13. OMG YES. He does and to be honest, he does have a point. I am trying to cut down my time spent here >_> But now there is even internet on my phone… He really hates it when he sees me surfing for a quick fix. 😛

  14. I talk about Xanga quiet a bit to my boyfriend, even though he has a site, he’s not into it as much as I am. I feel like a loser for having one honestly, but thankfully we can all be losers together!I laughed at scenario 3

  15. Haha. Hubby just finished trying to entice me off of Xanga. It worked, too. I am tired. I am going to read a book. I can fall asleep much more comfortably lying on the couch reading a book than I can sitting at the desk typing a blog.

  16. LOL….my SO is territorial and jealous of everyone and everything that gets my time that is not him….sometimes he spies on my Xanga, which is funny because nothing in it is bad or about him. I sit right there with the page up and let him see what I’m typing and still he thinks he’s being slick, going there when he’s at work. If he knew about the footprints….LOLOLOLOL. He is hilarious. Sometimes I think he married me because he sees me as a challenge!!!!

  17. I was thinking of writing a post like this but you said it way better than I ever could!  Xanga is my little secret, that way I can write whatever I want.  A girl’s gotta have some fun, huh?!!

  18. that pic of steve is damn sexy lol my s.o. doesn’t know about this xanga thing. what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him

  19. I try to only use Xanga when Hubby is at work but that never really works. He gets mad some times and says that I am on the computer too much but we never argue about it. We only fight about sex.

  20. Okay, well it is a lot better to hear that xanga is your mistress than an actual woman but that still isn’t fair. you should be cherishing the moments you do have with your SO. what if something were to happen to her one of the times that you delay seeing her just because instead of working extra hard, you were just writing silly things on xanga? i’m in a long distance relationship and i see my SO on the weekends, if he doesn’t need to work too much. any time we have together we spend paying complete attention to each other and things are perfect. we’ve both lost people in our lives and wouldn’t want to waste a second on something so little like xanga. i understand, i have my own sites i need to visit each and every day multiple times, but nothing could ever compete with my boyfriend. you should really try to make more time for her. xanga will always be there (most likely), but she won’t.

  21. Nice to hear I’m not the only person who’s in love with a person and a web site.  Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Hey I’ll even let ya know if I figure something out 1st. Nice page you have here.

  22. it’s funny, because for me it’s the other way around.  I sometimes feel as your women does, but hey… men are naturally attention whores.  I’m glad SO glad she doesn’t get pissed when it comes to porn.  That’s friggen awesome!It’s still not healthy to have that kind of relationship.  However you both need to find a happy medium, yes?

  23. So my Mum came to see me this afternoon, right, and I had this pulled up on the computer because I hadn’t devised a comment yet. And I was shuffling around somewhere, and all of the sudden, my Mum burst out laughing.”Laryssa, are these the kind of people you associate with? All they all this funny?”I mean, I wish I could have videotaped it or something. To prove I’m NOT making this up.Thanks for making my (and Mum’s) day.

  24. Oh, dear. I may well drop off the face of Xanga if I had a SO. Because I know I spend way too much time here, and having a boyfriend who reminds me of that would make me so incredibly guilty.Yay for being single? xP

  25. “I love xanga okay. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you too. I love both of you.”  You didn’t.. you WOULDN”T say that… hahahhahahha… But I will say.. fighting over Xanga.. that’s not bad.. If that’s the worse thing you guys have got going… that’s going pretty darn well…. “it better be just porn'”  THAT’LL be the day!!!!

  26. Your poor girl, I’ll prob want to kick your ass if I were her lol.My husband doesn’t get jealous but than again I don’t post much. You know what he does for a living so our time is limited together. With that being said, we treasure the time we actually get to spend with eachother.

  27. Haha, if your girlfriend rather have you watching porn than writing an entry on xanga, OMG!! I think there’s something wrong with her.Anyhow, this is funny.

  28. You are LAME, Dave. And you’re probably GAY as well.Because NO MAN on earth would spend more time blogging than being with his significant other. Only women could do that. I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem right. And it doesn’t make sense. A man can hog the computer for games, yes…but blogging? That’s more like a woman’s territory. Coz women could blog about anything….and even the most trivial of subjects. But if a man does this…I am beginning to wonder if you’re lying about yourself. Kinda like that Perez Hilton prank you did. I mean…if you could pull that off, how do we know you’re not impersonating a woman?

  29. OMG!  You need to be a man and tell her the truth rather she likes it or not.  HOw are you going to ever resolve the issue if you don’t ever deal with it?  Stop being such a softy.  Tell her you enjoy it and if she doesn’t like it then leave…that will shut her up.  She might love you but she doesn’t respect your personal time.This entry is pretty interesting… im back in the xanga world and nobody better give me shit lol

  30. My husband hates xanga and used to always complain about the time I spent on here. It was the cause of a lot of fights. I deleted an old xanga but then I started bugging him too much always by his side and he told me to create a new xanga! Haha.-Heidi

  31. ahaha that was an awesome post!!I’m a programmer. I am the webmaster for our dj crew so when I am online he thinks I’m working ono the site while I secretly post on xanga..lol. and as soon as he comes over i switch screens and he never notices..lol he’s never mentioned anything negative aabout it. so, i suppose we are good with it for now..lol just yesterday I was tired of studying he suggested I blogged on xanga..lol he said blogging seems to bring you tons of peace so, maybe you should do that while i finish up some work..now that I’m typing this..it kinda makes me wonder if he secretly has a xanga as well..lol. hmm -___-well, i understand her.. and why she would get that way. maybe she should find a hobbie to entertain herself while you’re doing yours.:)

  32. your girl shouldn’t be angry that you are doing something on xanga… I think she should be angry at you when she comes to your house and caught you witha girl in bed… damn… I don’t do this —> the way the girl reacts I mean… I just let him do his thing… just so he doesn’t forget any important dates… we’re all cool… GREAT POST! I can relate…. hahaha

  33. Xanga isn’t my mistress; she’s my main squeeze. She doesn’t mind me spending a lot of my time with her, and she doesn’t get jealous when I’m with YouTube.

  34. @c_jamaica- (NOT bashing you… in ANY way.) I know that comment wasn’t directed to me… but that was kinda mean. He’s a funny/nice guy. That is all I wish to say.

  35. @mrsprosa – Haha, I believe that may be the point me and my honey are at. 🙂 Except mine doesn’t really read it every day because of his lack of time this semester.. But when he’s able. There are even somedays when I just tell him to read my xanga because I’m either too tired to talk about it, or I don’t feel like talking about it with a person. XD hehehe<3, ~*Akarui Mitsukai*~

  36. @he_paintsmeblue – this was mostly meant to be comical. My SO and I are just fine.@MochaSprinkle – That is a valuable lesson to learn.@jacksoncroons – lol. Maybe I can keep a flower fund going here on my page. @slowlydisappearingforever – thanks. Maybe we should stat a support group or something.@jewjewbeedragon – yeah. We’re good actually. We usually just joke about it now.@Laryssa – I love it when I make family members laugh. Excellent!

  37. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!*Types on cpu: Hey everyone, xangaTV tomorrow at 9 ET!!!* ‘It’s porn!’ I’d break up with u! U’re a xangaholic, u need help! hahaI dunno if I’d want my bf to read my xanga… :-S !!!

  38. I’ve just started Xanga adn while it’s a good way to pass time when you’re bored I think there are some better ways to pass time with your girlfriend. If you love her log off more often and pay more attention to her.xoxoxEllie

  39. I don’t have an SO, so i can do what i wanna!  although, i’d probably cut down on the blogging if i had one.i’d have even MORE of a real life than i do, now.  hm.  or she could write for me, sometimes.”Honey, we iz featured!”

  40. I don’t think a support group would help me, lol. I’m on Xanga almost 24/7. But it’s not a bad idea. Maybe we could make a Xanga page here for the support group or would that be like putting a beer in front of someone who’s trying to stop drinking? Anyways, this is slowlydisappearingforever, I just changed my Xanga name. Have a great day!

  41. lmao! I met my SO online so we’re good on internet addictions  we share many of them – my current fave being Gaiaonline.combut I just started Xanga today, so I’m not really addicted to it…though once I finally figure out how to work it, we may have something here

  42. haha very funny postYou guys don’t live together, right? (since you said ” I don’t think tomorrow would be a good day for you to come over…..”)I don’t understand why you can’t just be on xanga when she’s not there?oh well =)

  43. In a weird way my girlfriend does get jealous that I spend so much time on xanga. So in a way she does get jealous of xanga and me!~Alexx

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