Encouraging Facebookers to Read

Hello Facebook Users,

Dave here.

I know many of you have a very full schedule as is. There is so much to do on any given day on facebook. Here is a sample of what the average facebook user has to find time for on a daily basis;

– Figure out how to navigate the changes facebook has made since yesterday
– Stalk 5-10 random people
– Update my status at least 20 times
– Identify the app du jour and add it
– Buy fake drinks or gifts for people I want to flirt with
– Make a lewd comment about some chick’s whorish new photos
– Find out whose relationship status has changed in the past 24 hours
– Throw a sheep at someone
– Check if anyone new from my elementary school has joined
– Annoy members of my family who have not as yet added the “We’re Related” app
– Pretend to care about some “Cause”
– Play some stupid game for at least an hour (Mafia Wars, Vampires, Fight Club, Oregon Trail, etc.)

Again this is just a sampling. I know there is much, much more.

With great respect for all of your current facebook obligations, I am here to formally invite you all to find a place in your busy schedules for my writing. Currently I do the bulk of my writing on xanga.com. This is a site where fellow blogging afficionados (nerds) frequently check out my stuff. I have over 1450 friends and 800 “loyal” subscribers. I usually average about 400-500 views per day on each new blog. Some comments I have received on some of my blogs in the past include;

“Reading this has changed my outlook on life”

“You sir, are a national treasure. Bravo!”

and my favorite comment of all

“Your blog saved my baby’s life. Thank you Dave!”

Dave does love the kids. I was all too happy to help.

So facebook users I ask you to give me a shot. If you haven’t read me before, check out some of my stuff. If you’ve read me before and liked it, then come back for more damnit! I hate when people read one thing, tell me how much they LOVED IT, and then never come back again. It makes me feel like a cheap used whore.

While we’re at it facebook, give real writing in general a shot. Take a break from all the stupid ass surveys and reading 1,000,000 useless facts about people you don’t really give a crap about and read the real notes people post. Sure it may take some actual reading comprehension, but I think you guys are up to the task.

Some links for you…



  1. This is a great thing you’re doing for those Facebookers. Though, I must admit, I DO love getting those fake drinks from people. Maybe someday they’ll get less cheap and send me the real deal.

  2. Thank you, Cousin Dave, on behalf of The Children.Seriously, I was nothing before Dave found me on facebook. Jis’ a poor flowergirl I was. I owes everyfink to Cousin Dave. ‘E tort me ‘ow to walk and to talk and to dress loike a reggilla lidy. ‘E give me real cloth, ‘e did!

  3. I have facebook, but it’s useless to me. I only know 4 people on facebook unless I start adding random strangers. Myspace is better… you can edit it better, and decorate the hell out of it.

  4. This is a great idea, but… don’t you dare go bashing Oregon Trail. That’s crossing the line, man.(for the record, i have no idea if it’s the same thing or just some fake facebook app thing)

  5. Its scary how well one Facebooker knows what the other facebooker is doing…I just got done creeping out about 10 fellow facebookers! LOL Wow. Thats a lot of friends on here!! and comments. I get about 6 comments! *sighs* but I do love everyone that comes one….

  6. I have always held that Xanga is for blogging, social networks like Myspace & Facebook are for socializing.  That’s why I hate when Xanga tries to be “like” them.  You aren’t, Xanga, get over it.  Unless you want to kill the entire concept of blogging and make this a social network, too.  But they don’t seem to listen.

  7. *gasp* You’re contemlating on leaving Xanga! ._. Who’s gonna make me laugh now? No more pranks? Pereziness? I’d go check it out… but no computer .__. Funny, though πŸ˜› I won’t treat you like a cheap person.. thing πŸ˜€

  8. *gasp* we nerd/facebookers are a rare breed. Especially the ones that actually read.Does this mean I’m going to get FB spam from you too? Crap, I’ve already got a universal inbox full of it 

  9. This is fantastic.”Annoy members of my family who have not as yet added the “We’re Related” app”^ My family members do that to me. I’m not very facebook savvy, though. 😦

  10. I just started blogging on facebook [result of bugging from my sister] and… I decided to post an entry to a note that I had blogged on xanga and gotten a good number of comments on… Not one person commented.people are effing lazy on facebook. it’s pretty weird when strangers keep up to date more with what you are thinking about than “friends.” And some people seriously update their status 20 times a day. WHY not just write an entry?so yeah, this bothers me too. lol.<3

  11. Facebook? Psh, it’s Twitter now. You know when a network is the “new thing” amongst the majority of internet users when its mentioned on your local nightly news station that the police is using it to fight crime and help protect people who tweet about killing themselves…

  12. You do realize that not all facebookers use all the useless apps, right?  Personally I dont really do much on there anyway. lol. Sweet post though.

  13. I added you in Facebook, and though I read a lot of your posts and make comments, I am obviously ignored. But oh, well. I love playing Scrabble in FB. It’s fun!

  14. If you’ve read me before and liked it, then come back for more damnit! I hate when people read one thing, tell me how much theyΒ LOVED IT, and then never come back again. It makes me feel like a cheap used whore.damn… I never knew you could do so much on facebook… I just use it to connect to my old friends…. just like friendster

  15. ‘it makes me feel like a cheap used whore’ HAHAHAHAI don’t have facebook so I can’t read ur notes (actually I used to but I deactivated it cos I was kind of addicted haha)..I read ur xanga though, and I subscribed cos ur posts cracks me up! Even when I’ve had a bad day , ur writing skills r smashing n’ what u write actually makes sense :)I love ur site and surely I’ll come again, u’re hilarious!!

  16. Haha. I pretty much refuse to write anything of substance on Facebook. People there seriously don’t read. They skim, at best. xP (There are exceptions, but still.)

  17. Do we really want facebook to have more writing? I get the feeling that could actually be very annoying…Or maybe that’s just because of the people I am friends with on there.

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