Cinco De Mayo and White People

What is it about this Cinco de Mayo that white people love so much?


Is it because they love to abuse the Spanish language so much? (“Hey Dave. Any plans for Seeen-co day My-o?”)

Is it because for one day a year they actually do care about the people they grossly underpay to do their drywall?

Is it because they have no culture of their own?

Is it because it has the word “Mayo” in it.mayonnaise

I’ve had no less than ten people ask me if I am going out today and ALL of them were white. I know plenty of latinos, including some mexicans even, and none of them seemed to give a crap what today is.

This is not to say that mexicans don’t have any sense of their history. I’m sure they all go home and drink a bottle of tequila with the worm in it, and bash pinatas, while mariachi bands play in their living rooms. THAT is how cinco de mayo is supposed to be celebrated. The difference is they don’t feel the need to invite everyone at their job to do so with them.

On the other hand, it is absolutely imperative to Mitch from the purchasing department that I go out and get hammered today. It is a disgrace to mexicans everywhere if I choose to go home and play X-box while scratching my nuts on this rainy Tuesday evening.

I’m sorry mexicans. It’s just another Tuesday to me.




  1. @iStephanieMarie – Don’t forget New Years!! And anyone’s birthday, doesn’t matter if you don’t even know the person. “Hey, a friend of a friend of a friend’s birthday is today. Let’s party in honor of him turning……a year older!”

  2. We like to think we are culturally aware. Ask the next white person who wants to know if you are going out why Cinco de Mayo is even celebrated. Ten bucks says they get it wrong. Feliz Cinco de Mayo, mi amigo Dave!

  3. You know that whatever Xbox game you choose to play, you’re going to play as the token ambiguously-Latino character in the game in honor of “5 of May.” Don’t act like you have no love for foreign celebrations!

  4. When I’m old enough, I’m going to have mariachis playing in my living room 24/7. And I’ll be drinking tequila.It’s won’t just be this Tuesday. It’ll be everyday, baby.Latinos can join me if they’d like.

  5. I have no clue. A couple of my friends started drinking at 12am and are still at it. They’re just drinking to drink. They probably can’t tell you what day it is anymore. I want to go see a mariachi band! 

  6. Um, I’m white, and Cinco de Mayo is nothing particularly special to me.  (I know, I know, some important Mexican holiday, right?  Well, I don’t live in Mexico, nor am I from there, so…)

  7. Dear Dave,I’m writing from La Ciudad de Los Angeles on the Best Coast (er, I meant “west coast”) of the country. Most of the signage in the area is bilingual. English/Spanish. I will concur. Nobody of Mexican descent around here cares about Cinco de Mayo, which is a fake holiday pretty much invented by (white) beer barons. Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool

  8. While I think it’s great that in this country we honor it in Mexico’s behalf, I don’t celebrate it.  It has nothing with my being pure white bread, just that I don’t see any other countries celebrating our important days just because their important to us.Besides, it doesn’t seem to be as huge a deal in the northern Texas area as in the southern areas.Good post.  Liked your attitude about it.

  9. You have a good point. Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t have many Hispanic friends, but it’s always white people that bring up the fact that it’s cinco de mayo. Hmmmm., strange. I definitely like it because it has the word mayo in it. Just sayin…

  10. It would be as if Mexicans all made a big deal and had big parties with hamburgers, cheep beer and Jack Daniels. All in honor of that big American holiday, Ground Hogs Day.We would think, they were crazy 

  11. Well I just like happy celebrations / holidays, no matter the cultural context.  It’s all fun to me.  And Cinco De Mayo is among the liveliest and happiest around for those that celebrate it.  Unfortunately, I don’t really know anyone that celebrates it albeit being aware of parties going on all sides everywhere I look.  *SIGH*

  12. I had totally forgotten what day it was yesterday until I talked to my husband on the phone and he was drunk. Yeah, even his very white conservative boss that he is away out of town working with got drunk on Cinco De Mayo.

  13. People are always looking for an excuse to get drunk in the middle of the week. It makes them seem less like an alcoholic if there’s a holiday reason.

  14. @vanedave – Perhaps.  I’m not actually referring to the ethnic proportions of population, directly, though.  Rather, I’m more specifically referring to culture/language, both good and bad.  (Bad including countless examples one of my favorite scenarios [happened to a friend of mine who used spent some time in Europe] “Him: I’m interested in this position.  Them: You must be bilingual.  Him: I speak some German and French. Them: How about Spanish? Him: No, sorry.  Them: Gotta speak Spanish. Him: What about that guy?  He doesn’t speak English?  Them: He speaks Spanish,” coupled with the experiences of an [african american] friend of mine who happens to speak Spanish “you’re overqualified.”)

  15. @woodrowwilson – LOL!  It’s actually funny, people of hispanic heritage do get irritated when you mix them up.  “I’m not Mexican! I’m Puerto Rican!.”  Same thing sometimes happens with asian descents “I am not Korean! I am JAPANESE!”  Funny thing is, I never see this happen with “white” or “black” people.  No “I am not black.  I am [insert country in africa here]-an” or “I am not white.  I’m IRISH, DAMN YE!”

  16. It’s just like St. Patrick’s day – another holiday that has completely lost its original meaning and transformed into a lovely excuse to drink. And just as you no longer have to be Irish to dress in green and join the festivities, Cinco de Mayo is now celebrated by people of all races and nationalities in the States. C’est la vie. 

  17. It’s funny, because Cinco de Mayo in Mexico is barely celebrated outside of one city (Puebla, where the actual battle happened.)  Although, I lived in Puebla, and got to experience much of the celebration there, the rest of Mexico isn’t all that gung-ho about it. 

  18. lolololol…this shit was funny as hell. I saw the title and I fell over laughing and then reading the post it just got worse lolol…I was like wow..but that is kind of true…personally for alcoholics I think it’s another reason to drink….I’m sure my ex went to the bar yesterday like five times just because it was cinco de mayo and he’s probably still there celebrating seis de mayo too (a belated cinco de mayo) lolol.

  19. @poet85 – Living in New York I have had some real funny run-ins. I used to live near this Korean grocer who spoke not a word of English (Except for prices of things. DOLLAR 79!). One day I was in the store and a latino dude comes in all frantic asking me something in Spanish I had no idea what he was saying. Out of nowhere the Korean grocer starts speaking to him in Spanish, pointing him on his way. I was sitting there like, “ain’t this some shit. This Korean guy speaks Spanish but no English.”

  20. I don’t know about you Dave, but I love going to On The Border and getting $.99 margaritas on Cinco De Mayo.  I think their should be a Seis de Mayo…and a Siete de Mayo….oh wait…there is.  My bad!

  21. @vanedave – That is sad, but it’s the state of our country these days.  English speaking people usually settle for prices (or avoid the stores).  Spanish speaking people demand you speak their language.  I almost feel tempted to go to Mexico and demand that everybody there speak English for me….Almost.

  22. My mexican friend celebrated the holiday.  I didn’t because I’m obviously not mexican, but maybe I should have because my son LOOKED mexican when he was born… hmmm… maybe next year…

  23. I was making tacos on the 5th of May. I didn’t realize until the Yahoo front page had little Mexican clip art people doing their little bailando around the Y! logo. XD I just had hamburger meat that needed to be cooked. XD

  24. it’s the alcohol. i totally called out one of my friends about this yesterday. she was acting super excited and i’m just like “are you really that into mexico’s independence??” and she was totally stumped, she didn’t even know the background to the holiday… not to mention i’ve heard racist shit and stereo types fly out of her mouth about mexicans. 

  25. Go home. Play your X-box. Scratch your pink bits and pieces. AND drink tequila. Let the worm win a game or two. It’ll be fun.

  26. Dear Vanedave:  I’ll just add to what the others have said.  Cinco de Mayo is, like Saint Patrick’s Day, just another foreign holiday that Americans have adopted as an excuse to Party.  Few know what happened on May 5th (they beat the French Army… like everyone else!) and couldn’t care less.  The only surprise is that we haven’t likewise adopted Bastille Day (French), Boxing Day (English) or, maybe, the anniversary of the Beer Hall Putsch (!) for the same purpose.  Stand by, braumeisters!

  27. @vanedave – Actually, the Putsch was something of a Flop.  A lot of Nazis got tanked up, staggered into the streets of Munich and tried to overthrow the Bavarian government!  A bunch of them got shot, Uncle Dolph got himself tossed in the klink and the whole country laughed at them.  A few years later, however, NO one was laughing.  The Nazis learned that you can’t take over a country fuelled on “liquid courage”.  It takes planning and subversion of the system… which Hitler provided during an extended stay in the drunk tank.  The good news, however, is that the beer hall continued to provide Good Service to its thirsty patrons and does to this very day.  I know.  I lifted a few there myself!  Great place.  They don’t talk much about Adolph, though… 

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