So a while back a good pal of mine asked who I think would be a good candidate to succeed Justice Souter in the Supreme Court. I thought now would be an appropriate time to discuss this since President Obama just announced his nominee. First let’s take a look at some people Obama didn’t choose…
Judge Mills Lane– How can you not love Judge Mills Lane? I think he would make a fine addition to the Supreme Court. He has the chops and he knows how to handle himself in pressure situations. Mills was the referee in the Tyson Holyfield ear biting match. Did you see how cool he was when all that craziness went down? I would have been like “OH SHIT HE JUST BIT YOUR EAR HOMIE!” I would have been freaking out. Not Mills though. Cool as a cucumber.
Syvester Stallone – Don’t forget that Sly played Judge Dredd. Dredd is a very efficient pick because of how good he is at multi-tasking. After all he is judge, jury, AND executioner. Pretty impressive!
Simon Cowell – Simon is nothing if he is not brutally honest. That is the type of integrity you want in a judge. It’s the type of integrity you want in the highest court in the land. Thoguh I think Simon would only take the job if they let him wear a V-Neck Hanes tee instead of a robe.
Judge Joe Brown – Don’t sleep on Judge Joe Brown. He is more than just an incredibly awesome moustache. Don’t believe me? Check out his wiki page. Plus he has had Ike Turner and Rick James on his show. I said RICK JAMES BITCH!!!
Judge Reinhold – That guy from all the 80’s movies. He may not have as impressive of a resume as some of the other candidates but technically, he has been a judge all his life.
Flavor Flav – The man is not the smartest egg in the basket, but he has had to make some tough decisions in the past. Hmm, Thing 1 or Thing 2? They’re twins and he loved them both! How do you make that decision?
Fred Gwynne – Better known as the judge from My Cousin Vinny. This guys was great. Tough as nails, yet somehow still loveable. What is a yoot?
Judge Roy Snyder – The judge from the Simpsons. I don’t know how good of a choice he’d be though. He is way too soft on crime. Bart owns his ass. Boys will be boys indeed!
This leads us to the winner of Supreme Court Idol…
Sonia Sotomayor – Obama’s nominee to replace Judge Souter. She has a pretty good track record and she would be the first hispanic to be named to the Supreme Court. Most say her views are pretty much in line with Souter’s so she would bring continuity to the court. Plus she is one mean looking lady. I would not mess with her at all.
She’ll do I guess. Still, Judge Joe Brown did have Rick James on his show.
(don’t be offended by the tags ladies.)