So not too long ago I was discussing with someone how I should be a professor of smooth studies at a university somewhere when I got an idea for a post. I wanted to show different degrees of smoothness in an easy to follow scale. So I rated smoothness from 0-10 using different “celebrities” to illustrate different degrees of smooth. Here is how it turned out.
0. Tucker Carlson
You are the opposite of smooth. You are a bumbling, fumbling, disaster of non-smoothness. Hey, at least you have your bowtie.
Xanga Equivalent – DearRicky
1. Jouaquin Phoenix
You used to be smooth, but somewhere along the line things went horribly wrong. You’re not doing drugs are you?
Xanga Equivalent – TheBlackSpiderman
2. Eli Manning
Normally you are a huge doofs, but you have your occasional fits of smoothness. Like how Eli had his one smooth run to the Super Bowl.
Xanga Equivalent – UnderCover_Librarian
3. Bill Gates
You really aren’t that smooth, but you have that one shining quality that makes up for your total lack of smoothness. In Bill Gates’ case its that he has infinity billion dollars.
Xanga Equivalent – TheTheologiansCafe
4. Lionel Ritchie
You are corny as hell, yet somehow still smooth as hell. Nobody understands it. We all know that we should be making fun of you, but we are too busy liking you to do so.
Xanga Equivalent – TheLoquaciousLady
5. Mick Foley
There is absolutely nothing smooth about you, but you are not trying to be smooth nor do you give a crap about what people think. That is exactly what makes you so smooth.
Xanga Equivalent – Saintvi
6. Christopher Walken
You definitely don’t fit the classic mold of what would be considered smooth, but you are so smooth that you carved your own niche of smoothness.
Xanga Equivalent – Kontzicles
7. Will Smith
You are so smooth that it has become redundant to call you so. Thusly your smoothness is often taken for granted.
Xanga Equivalent – MyxlDove
8. Christian Bale
Yeah you’ve got sort of a dickish vibe to you, but you are so smooth that it doesn’t even matter. Now that is smooth!
Xanga Equivalent – Pual_Partisan
9. Justin Timberlake
As much as people hate to admit it, you are smooth as hell. It irks people how smooth you are but they love you anyways. You still get some demerits though because no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to shake that leftover N’Sync residue.
Xanga Equivalent – Dare2BDifferent
10. The Rock/ Old School Sean Connery/ Brad Pitt
You are the epitome of smooth! Women want to be with you and men want to be you. Even your haters (few that they may be) can’t fron on your smoothness. If asked why they hate you they just say “cause he is so damn smooth!”
Xanga Equivalent – TheBigShowatUD
OFF THE CHARTS: PimpDave
The template for all things smooth. The Apex of smoothness. A living embodiment of silky and satin.
Xanga Equivalent: Vanedave of course.
So where do you rate on the smooth-o-meter?