The Total Package

I have an experiment I would like to conduct and I am going to need some help to do it. It’s not going to take alot of work on your part. Just a little bit of thought and perhaps a rec so others can chime in and contribue to my data set.

Many times you hear people say he/she is “the total package”. That is a pretty lofty term to have to live up to if you ask me. I mean, what does that even mean really? Is there one set of attributes that makes someone a “total package”? Is it different for men than it is for women? How do you quantify something like that?

So here is what I am asking of you people:

What defines the “total package” in a man/woman for you? 

– This is a purely hypothetical exercise, so please don’t say your husband/wife/bf/gf/SO. 
– This is supposed to be fun so don’t get too deep on me.
– Try to keep your answers on the brief side. Remember I have to read all of these and make some sort of sense of them.
– I will be doing something to follow up after I have recieved your answers.
Don’t forget to share this. It will be better the more people participate.

On an unrelated note, I would just like to say that I hope there is a special place in hell for the douchebag who decided to park in front of my house blasting Lil Wayne on his car stereo at 6 AM on this fine Monday morning. Let’s just say he is lucky I don’t own a shotgun.



  1. But, seriously now. For me, it would be someone open-minded, not too fussy, intelligent, appreciates art and music, NOT  a Christian/Muslim/Jew, responsible, independent, caring,  etc. Lucky me, I found one with all of those and more.

  2. For me if a man is HONEST even when it’s something I don’t want to hear, that will cover a multitude of other sins. I’d have to say honesty, hearty sexual appetite, sense of humor, spontaneous and not lazy.

  3. I like to think that when people talk about men/women with the “total package” that they’re talking about hermaphrodites. That’s not what I look for in a woman…wait…on a woman, but it makes life more interesting and conversations with boring people more exciting.

  4. a guy once told me my husband was lucky because I was the total package, I asked him what it meant and he said I’m hot, love sex, but haven’t slept around, I’m good with money, low maitenence, not stupid, and just a lot of fun in general.For me the whole package with a guy is probably pretty simlar:-Sexy-Good in bed but-Hasn’t slept with over 5 women-Is hardworking enough to support a family (Doesn’t need to currently have a high paying job)-Doesn’t waste his money-Is trustworthy-Doesn’t get mad easy-Treats his mom right (that’s how he’ll treat me when I’m old and unattractive-Likes doing the same kind of things I like to do for funz-Someone I feel safe with walking in a bad neighborhood late at night (basically capeable of beating someones ass and not afraid to do it for me.) I don’t go for skinny clean cut businessmen. My guy’s gotta be cute and tough.-and for me a Christian because that is my religion, and My mom was and my dad wasn’t and it caused the most problems in their marriage with how to raise the kids ect.. I don’t want that.That’s all I can think of off the top of my head.I already found mine though. He’s all of the above except trustworthy. We’re working on that. He lies about small things.

  5. Hm. I think the total package would be Good looking, smart, uncontrollably humorous, Good in bed, Trustworthy, Good in bed,  selfless, loves to listen to me speak for hours without interrupting and good in bed..what do you think is the total package?

  6. Mine is ….personality – sweet, honest, funny & smart. Someone who is loyal to his friends/family. Not disrespectful! Who will laugh at my jokes & will let me cry when I need. WILL understand that sometimes I just want to be alone. Stays true to who he is & won’t change for anyone. Looks – as tall as I am or a bit taller, I like dark hair! LOL and average build!

  7. Total package: intelligent, sense of humor, compassionate, ethical, quirky, creative, adventurous, humble, patient, playful, HUGE libido, good looking. Also NOT perfect. I wouldn’t be able to stand anyone who was perfect.

  8. Trust has always been the first thing I needed in a relationship. I like nice hair, too. And good morals. At least 5’9 or taller. Nice forearms..I’m in love with forearms.Add some humor and intelligence in there and we got ourselves a basic package. Not exactly total package..but I don’t wanna go into this whole detail thing.

  9. for me a guy who has the total package is~good looking~smart~funny~caring~understanding~easy to talk to/good listener~goal-oriented~hard worker~trustworthy~treats a girl right~selflessI think that’s it, or at least all I can think of for now.

  10. The total package probably either doesn’t exist, or would already be taken. I wrote it out, but it was too long of a list and I didn’t want to embarrass myself by taking up a giant slot on your page. Really, it would have been way too long.

  11. qualities of a “perfect package” can be divided into 3 categories: looks, intellect/success, personality/character.  The specific details of each category is going to be different for each person and reflects their own set of values (ie. the difference between someone who wants a 6’0”, muscular, chiseled cheekboned, GQ guy who is college educated and someone who wants a decently attractive man who is IV league educated banking 100k+).  I think the kick-you-in-the-balls irony is that even if you’re perfect on paper, you might not be perfect for that person you want.  The spark one person feels for another can’t be rationalized into a check list. 

  12. First and foremost; they have to have the ability to laugh at themselves as well as find humor in most situations. While looks are somewhat important; I think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so that isn’t such an issue. Financially sound (don’t need to be rich, but I don’t want to support them either). Oh, and totally adores me.

  13. Wit, intelligence, interest in the world and an easy-going personality. Looks fade, libido decreases, age takes its toll, but none of that matters if you still have things to talk about, make each other laugh, can sit in companionable silence and know what the other is thinking.

  14. Total package… Looks, brains, humor, and a good heart? I guess that’s what I would call a good package… well and then there is the obvious a big unit. ;-b  I’m kidding~!

  15. @trunthepaige – In other words: Your opposite Ka-zing.Me? I got the complete package as it were.-Intelligent (176 IQ)-Talented (plays piano, guitar, and sings; ALL BEAUTIFULLY)-Beautiful (everything is proportionate, smooth, and sexy. She’s also shorter than me!)-Funny (shares my sense of humour and love of silly nerd things-Common and Uncommon interests (loves gaming, nerdy things, and action/comedy/sci-fi movies; but also likes Fergie, some pop stuff I’m not fond of, and chick books)-Bi-lingual (Speaks English and Tagalog fluently)Hell yeah.

  16. Dependability, generous, chemistry, and the ability to enjoy life as it comes. Everything else ( I.e. Awesome in bed, attractive, funny, hardworking, kind etc) just falls into place.

  17. Total Package. I have never really thought about it. But I suppose if I really had to think about it- Sexy, Hot, Muscular (I like men with blonde curly hair and blue/green eyes. though, I am willing to compromise)- Willing to protect his woman in all kinds of situations- A good paying job. Stability. – Sensitive to his womans feelings. Willing to comfort her when she needs it.- Doesn’t get mad easily and fly off the handle at the simplest things.- Doesn’t get jealous easily either- Intelligent. Of course, willing to learn new things

  18. h has to beIntelligentsensitive about me (I love being pampered)someone I can respect who will respect my familyhave the enough financial strengthtall ( i am tall, I tried dating shorter guys- so didn’t work)honest, witty, interesting enough to carry on conversations so that we can talk about anything or everything!, has good taste!A bit religious would be good and our families need to match!Duh! No wonder total packages are never available cause they don’t exist!

  19. The total package means they have good looks, good personality, good financial standing, good street smarts and brain smarts, good faith in God, all wrapped up in one person. 

  20. If I tell you, you’ll want him if you’re a woman and hate him if you’re a man.  He’s just right for me and has been that “total package” for 32 years.

  21. @mrsprosa – I think it’s also that I talk too much. You said without interupting. I am constantly interrupting my girl. After like two minutes I’d have to cut in with some sort of snide remark.

  22. Open-mindedness, intelligence, being interested in learning new things. Spontaneity, originality, makes me laugh. Smiles a lot, loves life. Gorgeous smile. Reads a lot. Converses intelligently. Isn’t rude to people.The kind of person who strikes up an intelligent, meaningful conversation with the person next to them in the elevator.

  23. Sense of humor, gainful employment and diease free…That equates to the whole package for meSense of humor = Because I am as sarcastic as they come and you will never get me if you dont have one not to mention and I will get dealthly bored with you..Gainful employment = Because I refuse to take care of someone who cant take care of themselves, I already  have a child I do that for. =)Diease free = self explanitory..  I dont like the idea of itching, burning or

  24. Nearly as tall as I am, which is 6’3″.  I hate bending way over to kiss someone, and if I had to look up, that would be too weird for me.  Dark or readhead, long mostly but depends on how it would look on them.  I like mysterious eyes, where you look and know there’s something going on behind them.  I like a even mix of book smarts and street smarts.  I hate having to explain every little pun I make, or why things are the way they are.I’m sure there are other little things that make up the “total” part, but that’s a decent foundation for me.

  25. the total package is having more than just one asset, and I think for each person that varies. for me personally:- intelligent, witty, tall, nonskinny, good conversationalist, loves God as much or more than me, isn’t a “typical” – unique, compassionate, a gentleman and brave.usually you can get one to three of the amazing qualities – like hot & funny, but not smart. or smart and funny but not hot. so the total package means the person has talent, plus looks & they are genuinely “good” on the inside.and for the record, I’ve been called the total package on more than one occasion. yet, I’m still single. hello guys! right here! I can cook too!

  26. I think people who describe others as “the total package” might be idealistic, might even be bordering on shallow.  It does put so much on the partner’s shoulders, living up to this “total package” ideal and it gives the relationship an unnecessary amount of pressure: what if you “lose” that someone who is a total package?  what if he/she (or you yourself even…) falls short of this title?  Relationships are challenging enough to maintain without such fairy tale values assigned to them, that might only lead to regret or trying to live a false ideal…  as chris rock wisely said, when you are dating someone, you are not meeting them, you’re meeting “their representative”.   I’d have to say the total package is someone who is strong, wise and pleasant enough to spend the rest of your life with.  Looks, personality, sexual routines, even values over time…  They all change.  But I dunno, maybe I base this evaluation on relationships that were not chosen or carried out very wisely…  If nothing else, it adds variety to your study dave.  sorry it’s too long…oH!  lol..

  27. oops.  looks like i got too deep. package = someone who is strong, wise and pleasant enough to spend the rest of your life with.

  28. It’d be unfair of me to ask people to participate in an experiment and then not participate in theirs so…Intelligent, responsible, funny, loving, confident, attractive, honest, christian, selfless.There’s quite obviously more things that would factor in to determining if someone were dating material, but these are just the first things that come to mind for me when I think of a total package or maybe more accurately, the ideal man.

  29. Good looking (I’m shallow), smart, honest, funny, compassionate, good in sports, good in bed and hopelessly smitten with me of course. 

  30. @curtainsopen – I keep trying to add to what you included, but my would-be additions are just extentions of one of your categories.  I think I’ll add “good with children” though.  That falls partly under being “kind”, but it’s more than that.

  31. The total package is someone who connects to you. Sense of humor attracting appearance and confidence. At least to me it does

  32. Attractive enough that I don’t cringe, A seriously awesome sense of humor, They have to be passionate about SOMETHING (no, not porn), Good with kids, Independent without me but willing to be dependent on me, and they have to be willing to go to church with me on Sunday mornings and stop for certs on the way.

  33. a dude with a huge package.  jk.  good looking, ambitious, financial security, good social skills, and respectful.  total package… i guess that includes skills in the kitchen, basketball court and bedroom as well?

  34. attractive, intelligent, honest, respectful, responsible, funny, must like sports, caring, ambitious, dependable, and loyal.

  35. I’m still defining my “total package.” If he A. Can Keep Up With Me, B. Lets me have my space and is good to me (and I to him, of course) and C. Doesn’t look like he grew up in a toxic waste dump,I think we’ll do alright.

  36. Personally, I think the total package is subjective to whom is receiving the package.  But I think the phrase “total package” just means that the perfect man/woman.  A person who claims to be “the total package” probably is just conceited.  A person looking for “the total package” will probably always be disappointed.

  37. What’s so bad about Lil’ Wayne? It’s because he’s got a mili, isn’t it? I knew it.Anyways… I think the ‘total’ pakage varies from box to person… Jk.I just want my Prince Charming to be caring, loving, lovable, Italian… etc.But I guess what comes, comes… UPS better bring me a good one…

  38. Hmmm. I’m going to have to write this list down as soon as I create it and tack it on a wall somewhere…Attractive (reasonably in shape, groomed, smells good most of the time), can hold a good conversation (open minded, intelligent, thoughtful), creative, confident (but not asshole-ish), passionate about something, a bit of a people person, can show me (without words) that he cares for me, accepts me and likes my quirks and everything that makes me me.

  39. Thoughtful, considerate but firm, gentle but confident, knows how to get angry without scaring people, funny, witty, poised but passionate…Nice, strong arms, good body, luscious lips, nice eyes, nice smile, nice everything! ^_^*sigh* as if someone is like that and will someday come to me

  40. Someone conservative, smart, funny, hard working, motivated, family orientated, kind, generous, loyal, handsome, interesting and strong. Someone who can keep me in check, keep me happy and keep me motivated. There’s bound to be more, it’s a lot already, I know, but I’m picky. 🙂

  41. I always thought that was a fantasy,  The total package …  Hmmm … muscles in all the right places, good looking face and hair, and well educated, 

  42. Sense of humor, great looks, humility despite the great looks and loyal.And for bonus ultimate package status……a man with an amazing singing voice!  I’m a sucker for a singer!

  43. BASICALLY, and there’s a whole lot more than this… but she’s got to be a great conversationlist, funny, attractive, and patient… cos it’s ME, and i require patience (no surprise).and it’ll help if she likes sports, even if not the same sport(s) i like.  and flattering me a lot never hurt anyone.  i return favors.  let em know.

  44. For me – smart, funny, affectionate, loyal, driven, has a good job, similar interests/views in many areas, respectful and social with others(aka friends and family love him), good-looking too. Having all of those would be “the complete package”.

  45. The total package is intelligence, a compatible personality, humor, and looks (in that order). When one gets older, one adds well-employed.Of course, a lot can go into the “compatible personality” slot, and that part is different for everyone. For me, beyond those ineffable things that make two people get along famously, I can fill in qualities I feel are really important: that he is vulnerable and honest, artistic, literary and musical (basically, into the arts), considerate, monogamous and devoted, understanding, seeking after truth and God, and curious—that he cares about life, and travel, and beauty, etc.

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