Revenge of the Coonbots…

…after what I saw yesterday, I am sure this is what Tranformers 2 should have been called.

No worries. I am not here to discuss plot with you, or spoilers of any sort. The square focus of this blog will be on two of the new autobots in the sequel; Mudflap and Skids, a.k.a. “The Twins”. Or as my friend Alex and I affectionately call them, “the Coonbots”.

twins
The “Coonbots” chillin’ in their b-boy stance.

The Coonbots started out as an ice cream truck which splits into two twins when transformed. From early in the movie you could tell that they were meant to be slower than the rest of the Autobots. I mean they could fight and all, but they were not too bright. Immediately after the opening sequence they upgraded from their old beat up ice cream truck to the conveniently watermelon-colored Chevy hatchbacks you see below.

transformers-2-twins-on-set

Throughout the whole movie the Coonbots spoke in a highly exaggerated duuurrrty South crunk slang. They were also constantly fighting with eachother. (Was this Michael Bay’s attempt at a social commentary on black on black crime? Hmmm.) Also it took me a while to realize it, but one of the Coonbots actually had the nerve to have a single bucktoothed gold front!

twins1
WTF?!!! That’s all I can say here is WTF???!!! 

Actually if you take a close look at both of the Coonbots’ faces, you can see both are pretty bad caricatures. The one who doesn’t have the gold front still has big lips, a wide face, and huge ears (plus they looked high throughout the whole thing). Haven’t we seen this before?

twins2Cooncooncoon
Again. WTF???!!!!

After the initial shock of being introduced to these characters, we tried to put all of our black panther feelings to the side and just enjoy the movie. This actually worked for a while despite numerous questionable lines from the twins. Then towards the end of the movie, the Coonbots just decided to push the envelope clear over the line.

After uncovering a set of ancient symbols, Sam (Shia Lebouf) asks the Coonbots if they could decipher them. The green Flavor Flav Coonbot then turns to Sam and says in his best coon voice, “Oh, we don’t do much readin'”. WHAT THE FUCK?!!! After all this we find out that the Coonbots are illiterate too? What friggin year is this anyway?

As much as this may seem like an angry black man rant, it only partially is. This was not meant as a statement of war against Transformers 2. I am not telling you to boycott. I just had to share this with you guys. The Coonbots are just one example of how Bay clearly wanted everything in this one to be bigger and better than the first. Explosions in the first one, bigger explosions in the second. Megan Fox being all sweaty and sexy in the first, multiple Megan Fox slow motion baywatch-esque running scenes in the second. A break dancing Autobot (Jazz) who is the first to get killed in the first one, the Coonbots in the second.

Well done Michael Bay. You’ve given me two new heroes.

jar jar
Sorry Jar Jar. You’re old news! 

 

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39 comments

  1. um, is that a gold tooth?  man, even Transformers are against us.  NOT RIGHT.  hey, you know Al Sharpton, right?  shouldn’t he be outraged right about now?still, i want a poster, stat.

  2. Man…once again, I’m not gonna say anything. I was drunk as fuck when I saw it last night, so mostly I was just like FUCK YES FORTY MINUTES STRAIGHT OF EXPLOSIONS

  3. Dag nabbit, Dave! How is it you can be right and so wrong at the same time?? I’d be outraged if I wasn’t laughing so hard! Hahahahaha!  It’s all good though. I’ll contact the NAACP as soon as I pick myself up off the floor!  

  4. But were they allowed to drink from the other Transformers’ water fountain?(Shuffles back to her own page, humming a Spiritual)

  5. It was obvious and blatant that those two were the ethnic version of a Transformer. As much as we want equality and such, you;re still going to have moments like this one that will be be in mainstream society. I just took it for what it was and enjoyed the movie. I plan to, dare I say it, go see it twice. For the transformer battles, altho the final battle between the Fallen and Optimus was somewhat of a let down. The rest were pretty effin awesome….

  6. it saddens to me to say this, but after reading the negative press on this movie, i will probably be skipping this one in theaters. i don’t have much interest in financially supporting michael bay.

  7. When I was first reading this, I was wondering if you were kidding. This stuff is really in the movie? o_O…Maybe the producers of Transformers, desperate for free advertising in a depressed economy, were hoping to stir up a boycott and protests.

  8. LMAO well I haven’t seen it yet, I heard it wasn’t as great, and now the coonbots.  If they aren’t actually called that, I will be calling them that when my boyfriend and I go see it this weekend.

  9. I haven’t seen the movie yet. I heard about this yesterday, and I shrugged it off.  But, after reading this, I’m pissed that they were so thorough about making racist caricatures, and making them so thinly veiled like no one was going to notice. I want to see this movie, though, why should I support a movie that is making a point to call me a cooning sambo? I don’t appreciate that; fuck it, you know what? I’m buying the movie on bootleg.

  10. Random tidbit of info: I was watching the original cartoon on youtube and realized that Jazz, was actually black in the original cartoon also. So it wasn’t blatant racism, it was modeled after the original. I can’t speak for Skid and Mudflap though…..

  11. WOW….well, you know it would be nice to have them even out the playing field for once, how bout talk about white rednecks, or trailer park people or have whites that don’t shower or smell like baloney or when they get out of water, have them shake their hair and it flashes to a picture of a wet dog. I mean seriously steroytypes go on both sides…its only fair right. Oh and i am not racist, i have a white friend.

  12. Yeah I’ve been hearing alot about this.  I’m still going to go see it because I enjoy the franchise.  I’m sure I’ll leave the movie upset by the blatent racism but whatevs

  13. Judging from all the stuff I’ve read, you’re definitely not the only person that’s pissed about this.  I thought it was way unnecessary, as was a lot of the stuff they put in that movie.  That movie had no right to be that long haha

  14. That’s awful, but you make it hilarious.  Coonbots.  LOL.Anyway, I had no interest in seeing that movie, so thank you for more reason not to go.

  15. very very good point. its ridiculous how directors try to add in hidden messages with these type of characters. on the outside they are portrayed as simply comic relief..disney does the same thing. black character voices are assigned to crows, hyena (sp) monkeys..donkeys.. damn shame.

  16. I use to watch the Transformers as a kid, but the first Michael Bay movie was awful. I have no desire to see this one and your description of the Coonbots definitely will keep me from supporting Bay at the theater. Though I will likely watch the DVD to feel the outrage.

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