Inside the Mind of a Troll…

I have seen quite a bit of people who are fed up with the jackassery (that’s a word I just made up) that goes on around here. I wonder what took so long for this powder keg to blow. I mean even some of the nicest people on here have passed the point of being patient. Some very eloquent and thought provoking pleas have been put out there to end all the hate. People imploring others to be more civil and act like they were raised and not dragged. While these posts were great, I sincerely doubt if they will make the slightest dent in any troll’s mind.

Wait, trolls have minds?

Yes. They do. See trolls are people just like you and me. They have jobs, depleted 401Ks, and crushed dreams like any normal person. The only difference between us and trolls is that we know how to handle a little power. What power am I speaking of? Well the interweb of course.

The interweb is a powerful thing. It brings people together who are worlds apart in the blink of an eye. It draws people in like flies to cow dung. You can say whatever you want on the interweb to damn near whoever you want. Power like that can really make someone feel, well, powerful.

I liken it to how some people are when they get behind the wheel of a car. They get their hands on that steering wheel and suddenly no one can fuck with them. (SUV owners are among the worst offenders. Anyone who owns a Hummer is automatically going to be the dickiest person ever.) You know how some people drive like they own the road? They drive way too fast in residential areas, they change lanes without signalling, they tailgate, they cut you off with no remorse. They are the baddest sons o’ bitches to ever operate a vehicle.

That is until you get out of the car. That is when reality sets in. That is when you see their face change from “Hell yeah I’m honking you! What you gonna do?” to “Oh shit he’s coming this way. What the hell was I thinking? I’ve never been in a fight before!” That is what you gotta do sometimes with assholes. Get up close in personal. But see with a troll it’s different. You can’t hop off your laptop and grab the crowbar out of your trunk to go after them. All you can do is hit the reply button, and really what is that going to do?

I for one choose not to get mad. I understand trolls. They NEED to be that way. They feed off of making your internet experience as miserable as possible. Either it’s the only joy they have in life, or it’s their only way of ever feeling powerful. Cause when they have to go into the real world and deal with people face to face, their big huge e-balls mean absolutely nothing.

So the next time a troll is pissing you off, just take a walk outside in the real world and bask in your ability to be yourself at all times. Trust me, you’ll feel better.