I was checking through my mail today when a progressive ad popped up and totally scared the hell out of me. It’s that woman they have in these new ads. The one with the big bug eyes who is always perky and talks all fast. That bitch scares the shit out of me.
She just looks like the type of woman that is on the verge of haveing a nervous breakdown any minute. On the surface it’s all perky and perfect, but underneath is a psycho waiting to emerge. Look at that joker-esque smile she has. Tell me she doesn’t scare you too.
While on the subject, here are a few other people who scare the hell out of me.
She haunts my dreams. Everytime I go to splurge on something that I have no business buying, I see visions of Suze coming at me with a hatchet. I can’t even go to Starbucks anymore without hearing her yelling at me. I guess this one has it’s benefits.
Looks like she don’t take crap from nobody. She scares me the same way my grandmother scares me. I feel like she is going to beat me with a slipper at any second. I think this trait would serve her well in the Supreme Court.