My Life Story in Ten Pictures (Pt. 2: Broken Home)

So I covered being born. That was pretty important. Now I am going to fast forward through my infancy and early toddler years.

Okay before I turned a year old it was pretty much the standard stuff. I ate (alot), I slept (alot), and I shat (a whole lot). I was a good baby by all accounts. I crawled at some point and then stood up by myself soon after. Then, as legend has it, I took my first steps during my first birthday party. I’ve always been a crowd pleaser.

I started speaking semi-coherently around the same time. My father tells me that my first word was dadda, but he has a way of shaping memories to his liking so I don’t know how accurate that is. My mother likes to joke that my first words were “come on down”, a la The Price is Right. After I got the talking thing down I tackled reading. This was right around the same age that I stopped crapping my pants; the tender age of three. My dad liked to show off my mad reading skills in front of groups of people. That must have been really annoing for all in attendance. (For more on this see here.)

Now all this time my mom and dad were living together, growing up, learning how to be adults. They were really just kids when they had me. Things were sort of rocky, but they managed. After a short while it was decided that I should have a playmate. So they got together and made me a little brother. 1986 was a good year. It was the last year the Mets won the World Series, The Giants won the Super Bowl, Patrick Ewing won the NBA Rookie of the Year Award, and on June 8th of that year my little brother Laurent was born.

Lau
Here is a pic of him back when he was still cute. 

86′ was also the last year that my mother and father would live together.

Late in 86′ my parents separated from eachother. This started a long period of custody battles which lasted well past their formal divorce in 1989. For a while we lived with my mother and saw my father on the weekends, for a while we lived with my father and saw my mother on the weekends, and then for a long time we went back and forth between the houses from week to week. As we got older this grew increasingly annoying. My brother and I loved both of our parents, but we both knew what we wanted. We wanted to live with our father.

dad
This is what we wanted.

While we were bouncing back and forth from week to week, we had repeatedly told my father we wanted to live with him. He had told this to my mother, but to her it was nothing coming from him. She didn’t believe it. My father told me that I had to tell her myself. I was no more than eight years old by this time. My brother was barely five. This was when it was decided that I would have to confront my mother and tell her that my brother and I did not want to live with her anymore. That we wanted to move in with my father. To this day it was the hardest thing I have ever done.

You see my mother was very sick when we were young. She suffered from pretty bad depression. She would cry all the time and lock herself in her room. I didn’t want to make her any sadder. It killed me to tell her that.

But things have a way of working themselves out in the end. My mother has always been strong. She re-married soon after that and gave me another baby brother in 1991. On New Year’s Eve of that year my brother Louis was born. I think having Louis helped her heal some wounds. Louis was hers, no question about it. She needed to feel that. The whole custody thing and us having to choose was tough on her. Hell it was tough on everybody. I am just happy that we made it work with minimal emotional and psychological damage. (Okay, maybe minimal is an understatement.)

mom louis
It took a while, but we figured it all out eventually.
Ahh who am I kidding? It’s still a work in progress.

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43 comments

  1. You were a cute baby. It’ll get better in time. Yes, it seems like forever, but it doesn’t last that long. I’ve been alive for almost 15 years, and I’m still waiting for that change. I’m glad your mom heaaled up some wounds. Hopefully, you can, too.

  2. Divorce all around stinks…for everyone involved.  And, you know, it probably always will be a work in progress…but as long as everyone continues to work at it then things will fall into place, one piece at a time.  Your little brother looks like he was rotten though.

  3. You have a very handsome family.  It would kill me to have my kids tell me they would rather live with their father, but if that’s what they wanted, I ultimately want them to be happy, so I would help them arrange it.  I can’t wait for part 3!!! 

  4. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to tell your mother that you wanted to live with your father, as well as it’s hugely rare nowadays for the father to get custody.  I hope everything worked out.

  5. Thats a hard choice to have to make, it must have been horrible for her to hear that. But Im glad it has all worked out for you all now. Im so glad I never had to go through divorce, I dont think I would have taken it well.

  6. @RestlessButterfly – actually I didn’t from what I was told.@father – you are such a jackass.@haloed – yeah it was hard. Twenty years later and it still is the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through.@MySecretLoveAffair – He was rotten. lol.@milubbles – Aww thanks. Things have worked themselves out okay though. We are all pretty happy now.@XDaemonessX – Well I am very glad you are enjoying. Pt 3 should be up next week.

  7. Aww. The softer side of VaneDave. I like it. :)PS: is that really your dad’s comment or is that some smart aleck pretending to be you dad? Nobody wants to think about their parents “making” them. ewww.

  8. Reading about your mom locking herself in her room, and you basically walking on eggshells so as not to hurt her really hit home.  I’ve been there.  Your dad was one handsome guy!

  9. I think all our lives are works in progress. If the perfect family exists I haven’t met them. There’s a lot of love in the pictures and in the words of your post. This was fun to read.

  10. I can see why you do well with stand up comedy. I’d imagine you’d have to be a pretty good storyteller in order to be really funny, and in posts like these, that storyteller in you  gets a chance to really shine. :)~V (you better appreciate this comment…I typed it one-handed while holding my newborn! :p )

  11. Oh my gosh. Dave, I have been so incredibly gone, and I have missed a crapload of news. I feel terrible. Lots of love and prayer to you regarding all of the recent events and posts and thoughts. As for this one, my dad swears my first word was donut. Mom says it was mama. Who knows what it really was. I am glad to hear that things continue to work themselves out. Family and custody issues seem to always be something we are working on in life. I know I am anyway. You guys are a good looking crew. –Kris 

  12. your mom is beautiful :)that must’ve been hard, especially so young, having to choose like that, but i could see how it could become very overwhelming to move back and forth every week, i would want a more permanant home too. After you moved in with your mom, were you able to still see her a lot?

  13. You get a rec because I absolutely love family and hearing about yours and frankly Xanga needs more of this.Look at you guys. So handsome, and Mum’s gorgeous. I love it.

  14. Awwww this was an interesting look inside your past. Reminds me of mine a little. I couldnt imagine telling my mom, youve got some balls. wait, eww.

  15. Broken families are a terrible thing to growup with,being torn between the two,you have gorgeous parents who made beautiful children,We are in Midtown Manhattan today…went to Xanga yesterday,I see it is raining today…we will see what there is to do in the rain!!

  16. dang. at least in their babymaking they brought some cuties into the world. (you of course being the cutest of them all.. *shameless buttkissing.. for I have no idea what reason*)

  17. I can see were you got your looks from, that is a good looking set of parents. Broken families on the other hand, well it sucks. But it made you who you are, and people like you the way you are.

  18. @TheMarriedFreshman – I appreciate the hell outta that comment. lol. Don’t drop the baby!@EuropeanAngel – Why thank you.@weedorwildflower – lol. that is my friend Alex’s comment. We have a running joke.@echois23 – I am so glad you enjoyed. Thanks.@AnamcharaConcepts – We’re still standing. lol.@Krissy_Cole – Thanks KC. I know you were never too far.@Smichy420 – Well she moved to Florida for a while, but once she moved back I saw her pretty regularly.

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