Don’t ask me what made me think of this. I guess this is just how life feels sometimes.
Alex Trebeck: Welcome back to Excuse Jeopardy. Let’s take a look at our scores. Mitch is currently in third place with $300, Carl is in second with $500, and our returning champ Dave is in the lead with $2100. Dave, you have control of the board.
Dave: Okay Alex, I’ll take Work/School for $400.
Alex: You fell asleep the night before your term paper was due and only finished half of it…
Dave: What is slip the janitor twenty bucks to tell your teacher he accidentally locked the locker room yesterday before you had a chance to get your books out?
Alex: Correct! Pick again.
Dave: Let’s try Wife/GF for $400.
Alex: The two most convenient places to be when your cell phone conversations start dragging on
Dave: What are in a tunnel or in an elevator?
Alex: Right again.
Dave: Let’s stay there for $500.
Alex: And that is our Daily Double! (Pause for golf clap from audience)
Dave: I’ll wager $2000 Alex.
Alex: Alright, for $2000. It is the worst thing you can tell your woman when trying to explain why you don’t want to have dinner with her family.
Dave: (Pauses for dramatic effect.) What is the truth?
Alex: The truth it is, well done! (Pause for another round of applause)
Dave: Friends for $500.
Alex: It’s the last person your friends want to hear about when you are telling them you can’t come out.
Carl: Who is your old lady?
Alex: Glad to see you are still alive Carl. Correct.
Carl: Misc. for $100.
Alex: You run into your pastor at the supermarket and he asks you why he hasn’t seen you at church.
Carl: What is I’ve been volunteering to coach little league on Sundays for handicapped kids in Brooklyn and I’ve been going to the church in that neighborhood while doing so?
Alex: Correct again Carl.
Carl: Misc. for $400.
Alex: You are a black man and you have just been pulled over for speeding. What do you say?
Carl: What is I didn’t know I couldn’t do that?
Alex: Judges? (Carl is denied by the judges and no one else buzzes in.)
Alex: Carl that would have been correct if you were a white man being pulled over, but as the clue specifically said “black man”, the answer we were looking for is “what is I am screwed.” Carl you still control the board.
Carl: Mom/Dad for $300.
Alex: Mom wants to know why you still haven’t found a girl to settle down with.
Dave: What is I just haven’t found a girl that can live up to the type of woman you are yet Mom?
Alex: Spot on!
Alex: And the last clue of the round. It’s who you always pretend to be when the credit card company calls.
Dave: Who is my roommate?
Alex: Another brilliant round for our defending champ Dave. Back after these messages.