Yesterday I took a day off from work to go to Six Flags Great Adventure. I was prepared for a day filled with coasters, boardwalk games, and funnel cake. What I was not prepared for was all the underage boobage that had flooded the park. It was insane!

Everywhere I looked yesterday there was some big chested 14 year old with her cleavage on full display. Some wearing tube tops, some wearing bikini tops, some wearing tiny V-Necks. Doesn’t anyone wear just regular t-shirts anymore? Cover yourselves up a bit! One girl even had the nerve to wear a shirt that said “shake your coconuts”. That is just not right! How am I not supposed to stare at that? If not just for the fact that I am in pure shock!

shake coconuts
Come on, that is just not fair! 

Also, whatever happened to flat chested teenaged girls? Have they gone the way of the dinosaur and singers who can actually sing? I am convinced that more and more of these girls are having boob jobs at young ages. The milk hormones can’t be that strong can they?

Early in the day I had tried to avoid looking. I felt kind of dirty each time. I would catch myself glancing and then quickly realize that this girl, while dressed like a 21 year old hooker, is still maybe 15 at best. “Look away Dave! Look away!” Then another one would pass by with some tied up wet tee and a pair of friggin boxers as her shorts and I’d get caught looking again. I felt like Chris Hansen was dressed up as one of the Looney Tunes characters and was about to get me.

Pretty clever Hansen! I’m not taking the bait though. 

By the end of the day I just stopped trying altogether. There was no avoiding it. Instead I just said a little prayer in my head everytime a particularly loose looking girl passed me by;

Lord, forgive me for I have sinned… I think,
Please forgive my wandering eyes today lord.
It is kind of hard to look the other way
when I see buttcheeks hanging out of some girl’s short shorts.
I am only human, it is in my nature to look at such things.
Lord, I ask that you watch over that little girl right there
with the bikini top that barely covers her nipples.
I pray that she does not become the victim of a cruel frat party date rape,
and that she does not become addicted to drugs
after repeatedly having things slipped into her drinks and cigarettes.
Watch over her lord. Please. She’s just a little girl.
A seemingly slutty, unpure little girl, but a little girl no less.
Thanks again big guy. Amen.



  1. Nice prayer, Dave; well done. Today you can pray for the sunburns in unspeakable places and the moms, who TOLD them to wear sunscreen and cover up, now having to listen to a lot of whining about how badly it hurts. 

  2. My mom in law and I went shopping for a dress for me to wear to my sister in law’s wedding and we were looking in the junior section (where these little girls get their clothes) and what’s sad is almost 90% of the clothes over there wouldn’t completely cover my 2 year old, let alone a 15 year old.  The clothes are slutty these days.  It’s sad.

  3. you were honest and felt kinda bad…so I’d say you are doing pretty good.  i feel bad for the girls.  if they are like that now, imagine what they will be when they grow older. no respect for themselves.

  4. Yeah…girls need to cover themselves up a little more. Having said that I had a guy check me out when I was wearing jeans and a long sleeved tshirt up to my neck…

  5. Actually – I have to admire how you responded to it … most guys wouldn’t be that honest about how they struggle with it. (And yeah… I’ve noticed how girls can dress … I never dressed like that, especially that young. Admittedly … I sometimes dress like that now, but I’m 22 … not jailbait!)

  6. Lately I find myself unable to keep from staring at young ladies’ breasts, and feeling like a perv because of it, so I can just imagine what it’s like for a (heterosexual) man.

  7. Yo, Six Flags in Jersey is a shit show.  If I had a dollar for every tacky back tattoo and ill-placed piercing I saw, I could buy the park and staff it with tempting jail bait just for you.

  8. @vanedave – These days you can have them made up for you… so what’s stopping you already. Gary also had his fiancée with him one on St. Maarten they went to the French side, and walked the nude beach, but they were too chicken to partake in the nudity… so they were tourists. He claims he said to her about one particularly good looking woman, wow, I wonder what that one would look like in clothes . 

  9. What do they think when they leave the house? “I’m so cute in this, I’m going to get the nicest boyfriend.”?More like you’ll get a pack of pervs drooling in your wake and guys who want you to put out practically before you’ve learned his name.Why don’t they care how they look, or what their reputation will be?

  10. ack, i know. my little sister is fifteen, and her and her friends wear short shorts that are basically boy short underwear (too short for public), tank tops that they wear low (even though SOME of them are flat, thank god) and then they put on so much makeup. i don’t get it – me and my friends weren’t like that at their age (i’m seventeen). if my sister sometimes complains about an older guy looking at her, i always say “no wonder..look at your outfit.” it’s really gross also because my guy friends will come over and say i’d tap that (about my sister – they later say they’re joking, but no, sorry, doesn’t fly with me). i laughed at your little prayer. but it’s true. i feel like they’d be taken advantage of by some disgusting frat guy.they need to cover upppp.

  11. I agree.  TOTALLY off topic, but my mind wandered after reading this.  I wonder what it would be like to wear a burqa for a day.  The stares, how it would feel…(I know, I am weird)

  12. Girls just want to grow up too fast. I think it is gross that they’d want to show themselves off in that fashion. Things that we don’t want to happen happen when we do things as this. But hey, it says a lot for a man to feel guilty/bad over lookin’.

  13. Lmao. The Big Guy will appreciate this one, I think. I don’t know why females feel that because it’s an amusement park and it is hot, they suddenly have license to walk around half naked. I see it all of the time when I go to theme parks too. As for the bigger boobs, I’ve heard it’s something about the hormones in meat.Who knows.

  14. I think there was a story about females continuing to evolve in the atractiveness area and men have stayed the same. I am with ya…I was born to early cuz the chiquitas today look nothing like the 14 years when I was 14. Something is in the water I tell ya.

  15. Hahahahahaha. Ha.I feel so out of place sometimes in my age group. I’m a little too conservative. Seriously. Yet, no matter what happens, I still get pryed on. Ick. I can’t help but feel sorry for those girls, though. They’re 12-16, can’t wash their own clothes, cook to save their lives, and have the not the slightest about what life awaits them. They may have matured in phsyical aspects, but mental wise, they still have some growing. Like I do. Just to a certain extent. What’s bad is that all these teeny-boppers are getting pregnant and the parents are nowhere in sight.

  16. Girls just aren’t taught right now, and the clothes that are out there for them are digusting, but I always found a way to cover up, and I still do. It would be nice, but it can’t fully be blamed on the clothing options. And moms let their children dress this way!!! My mom would have died if she saw me eyeing some of the clothes that are in the stores. They are trying to atract attention. But all they get are the wrong kind of attention. I respect you for even trying not to look. I can’t imagine how hard that must be, because I have a hard time not staring when things are sticking and falling out, and I am a straight woman. LOVED the prayer by the way.

  17. What I wonder is where these girls are getting this clothing! Do parents not use the word “no” anymore when shopping? Do they not care that their little princess is going out in public looking like a little hooker? Do they not monitor what their kids buy when they go to the mall? I know when I was that age, If i went to the mall with friends my mom would demand to see what I bought and if there was anything she thought was inappropriate she would have marched me right back to the store and made me return it (or even just thrown it in the garbage to teach me a lesson by wasting my money lol). Luckily that never happened, but that was because I knew she was serious and totally would have done it so I never bothered trying anything like that. I honestly think parents are slacking nowadays. 

  18. They drank milk with hormones in it or something.I can’t tell you how pissed off I get when I see a 10-year-old girl with bigger boobs than I have.  Fucking hell.

  19. I was at Kings Island a few weeks ago and thought the some of the girls were dressed whether inappropriately.  Shoot at Disney there was a girl wearing short shorts with her butt cheeks hanging out.  

  20. Wow Dave, I’m so disappointed. *sigh* I mean, what kind of man stares at young boobs?? It’s the reason why I come to your blog, because you don’t allow profile pics with people’s comments. Otherwise, I’d be up to my shoulders in Xanga boobage. Hahaha!Seriously though… you don’t have to go to Six Flags to get an underage peep show. Just browse Xanga! There’s plenty of T&A teasing to go around. What’s frightening to me is that these young girls wear these clothes ON PURPOSE, and then turn around and act all “ew ew pervy old man!” when some crass guy makes a comment about sex. Gimme a break!I guess I’m supposed to be like, “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot that you were shoving your nipples in my face so that I could appreciate the quality fabric of the dental floss you’re calling a shirt.”

  21. Re: Flat chested teenaged girls. We still exist. Is that a water park, like Soak City? I mean what do you do when you go to the beach?

  22. well actually, i developed early. like at age 12. & i was always bigggggggggg =| but i had the knowledge to cover up and “look my age” but now i’m sixteen & i take pride in slutting around. JOKES.

  23. (shakes head)  Sorry to hear about your eye strain Dave. Next time go to a dark movie, cause the styles are just getting smaller and smaller.  The flat chested woman are on the runways and the designers forget how the big chested girls are going to look in those sweet designs. These young ladies are also the first to whine about the fact that all the guys do is stare at them. (shakes head again)

  24. parents need to learn to control their kids better. tell, you know, my fourteen-fifteen year old isn’t going to be showing any boobage when we are out in public. i’ll duct tape her boobs down. lmfao.it is really sad how many young girls, wear GROWN ladies’ clothes.xo

  25. If I was 15 or hs age, dress like these girls now, I would get pwn by my mother!! at least have some dignity, we know its freakin’ hot (temperature wise) but cover up!! its not a waterpark!! 

  26. Oh my goshhh I (think) know how you feel. There was this guy sitting across from me on the bus yesterday and he probably had the biggest bulge I’ve ever seen. I felt like such a pervert but I couldn’t stop staring at it! And it’s been SO hot in my city lately. HELLA naked girls. 

  27. I’m 24, but look about 16.  My husband and I went to the movies one fri night (we usually go during the week, not weekend to avoid the children) and were amazed at the clothing (or lack thereof) and makeup of the pre-teens/teens.  They’re dressed like 24 y/o hookers, and I’m 24 wearing an Elmo t-shirt, jeans, and pony tail.I love looking young, always loved it.  I don’t get the “trying to look older thing” no matter how young one is. 

  28. Well, most teenagers don’t have respect for themselves nowadays because they either don’t have a mom or a dad, or maybe they don’t even have both. So, they really don’t have to go through the whole sex talk thing and even if they do, sometimes they don’t want to listen to it because their friend is having sex. But just because that friend is having sex, does that make it right for you to have sex? No, be different. It’s just like asking that girl, “Would you jump off a bridge if your friend did the same thing?”

  29. Okay, I couldn’t help but laugh a little when I read this. :)Girls these days mature faster. Previously, the average age of puberty for girls was 11 yrs; nowadays, it’s around 9 or something– just an fyi. 🙂 And remember: stay away from jailbait! ^^”

  30. i think that it is just a sign of the times that young girls dress that way…and it just gets amplified at amusement parks.  on my recent trip to cedar point i know i saw some pretty ridiculous stuff.  a very 9 month pregnant girl walking around in a bikini (barf)…a girl trying to pass off a lingerie top as a legit shirt (slut)…a man wearing those terrible foot sandals (the ones that have toes)…i left scarred for life

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