Dave Says Racist Things

Something amazing happened to me today.

In my 26 years on this earth I have eaten alot of fast food. I would say in a given week, I will eat fast food at least four or five times (Take that Healthkicker!). Burger King, Pizza, Dunkin Donuts, and of course, my beloved Taco Bell are among my favorites.

Unfortunately, part of the fast food experience is that you don’t always get the best service. Sometimes your order will get messed up, sometimes your food is cold, sometimes your “fast” food isn’t exactly fast. In all my years as a fast food customer I have never gotten more than a half-hearted apology for crappy service. Usually I am lucky to get even that.

Well that all changed today. For lunch I went to Wendy’s and hit up there drive-thru. When I got to the window to pay I gave them my credit card. For some reason there was a delay and they told me to pull up to the front door. After about fifteen minutes of waiting I finally got my card back. Along with it I got a golden coupon good for two, count em’ two, large value meals. Look I even have proof.

Isn’t it beautiful?

As I sat in the car looking at it I teared up a little. This had to be one of the most amazing things that had ever happened to me. In all my years of dealing with crappy service nothing like this had ever taken place. I may not even use this ticket. I think I may just frame it.

Then it hit me. This amazing occurence didn’t exactly happen to me. You see it was my friend Mitch who got out of the car to complain. It was my friend Mitch who they gave the golden ticket to. As I tried to piece together why this happened, it suddenly became clear. Mitch, as you can tell by his name, is white. This is what it feels like to be white.

It was an amazing feeling my friends. Even if it was just a small taste, it was amazing!



  1. LOL!! That is hilarious. I’ve complained and never gotten anything before. But Wendy’s is AMAZING. And so is Dairy Queen. They made a hamburger wrong so I brought it back, not expecting anything but a hamburger the way I wanted it. And they gave me free fries too.

  2. It’s a well-kept secret (until now) that white people never pay for their Wendy’s.  God bless Dave Thomas, that old White Supremacist.

  3. That is just a Wendy’s thing….look at the mascot? Little ginger girl? Ya cannot get any whiter that that…very odd us white folk. The whiter we get the redder we get? (you cannot count the albino’s since there are black albinos). I figure this is simple evolution….we white folk freckle. Eventually we will simply be one big freckle and thus brown. Now you should go to Hardy’s. They don’t see color. One time at the drive through with a bunch of buddies I got a stuffed purple dinosaur. No food…just a stuffed animal. Those folks are colorblind.

  4. They give each other free stuff all the time. North of Memphis, I can pass. I have to stay in the South or I’d be drunk with power.

  5. lolololol this actually brought a smile to my face. I was reading it like ok what does this have to do with the title.. is he gonna say something bout mexicans, blacks? lol  i definitely eat the same way.. fast food at least 4x a wk.. its horrible but so convenient.(sometimes lol)

  6. I’m white and haven’t gotten so much as a small order of fries for free.  I hope you got your food before they gave you the coupon.  Otherwise I wouldnt’ touch it.  I don’t trust fast food employees.

  7. Healthkicker and all of those Thinspo chicks are fuming in their size zero skivvies over your behavior!I don’t think it had anything to do with him being white, I think it had more to do with how loudly he complained. Complaining gets you far in life.

  8. @The44thHour – Yes they do. I know this guy, he is a Jamaican, you know one of the supper black skinned guys. He grew up in the sun on the beach, and never thought about sunburns. He has been in the Northwest for a number of years now (no sun). Well he went on vacation and spent the day on the beach. Second degree sunburns everywhere. The poor guy

  9.  Most fast food places have websites where you can fill in a complaint box and get sent free vouchers. Even if you never actually have eaten there. 

  10. lol I have NEVER heard of this.I really believe that some people are really good at getting what they want without coming off as assholes for it.  It’s an art that I know I will probably never master.  But I can relate…when I got a college scholarship I thought to myself, “This is what it feels like to be a minority.”(Not really lol).

  11. … question… why did you have to complain in the first place?  I’m just being a smart ass because I have nothing better to say.  Just want to let you know I was here and read your post… hehe

  12. awww… its true that sometimes the food are cold. there’s 1 mcdonald near my house suck. the ketchups tastes sour as if it was expired. they don’t place the buns in a proper nice way. and their coke is not cold enough. their soda is also lack of bubbles. hehe 1 thing i didnt know about is that Mitch is white xD

  13. LMAO!!!!! MITCH the white male friend!!!!!! Im black, but they call me oreo, do you think i can get at least half a golden ticket for at least a peice of lettuce? lol! I love taco bell they give you free stuff when you order at the window! but only if you are cute, (whiteness doesnt matter)

  14. Lol. Luckily for me, I have enough money not to need to go to any fast food places. Except occasionally when a friend drags me to KFC because for some reason she always has no money. Not that I ever complain in real restaurants either. Even if they deserve it. I hate complaining, it makes people say things like ‘she is such a complainer’ about me. So I would rather take the bad service then risk people saying mean things behind my back.

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