I Had an Off Night…

…so shoot me. It happens to the best of us.

There is a bit I do where I joke about how glamorous it is to be a stand up comedian. This joke is an example of me being facetiously sarcastic. There is not much at all that’s glamorous about it. Yesterday evening was a perfect example of that.

I have never done a Tuesday show and I am quite certain I will never do one again. The show was supposed to start at 8, which usually means around 8:15. It was particularly important that the show start on time yesterday, because I brought my dad and his bedtime is 10 PM on the weekdays. When we arrived they told people to wait in the cafe while they sorted things out. There were about thirty or forty people in and around the cafe, so I was decently pleased with the turnout.

Then the delay got longer and longer. Aournd 8:40 they finally told everyone for the 8 o’clock show to line up to be seated. This is when I found out that only about 8 of the forty people who were waiting were there to see the show I was in. I was so pissed.

As we went into the room where I was performing I quickly saw that the number of comics performing outnumbered the audience members. This is never a good sign. Then the show didn’t even start until 9! I was no longer super excited about performing.

I started to feel a little better when I saw that the crowd was not completely dead. For the first few comedians they were pretty attentive and laughed a bit. They seemed to be into it at least. However with each passing comic before me, they seemed to get a little more tired. The booker did not want to put me up early cause she was afraid that after I went up my four people (half the audience) might leave. As a result I was about the sixth or seventh person up.

The final nail was the person before me. She was really off her game. She literally sucked any little bit of energy that was in the room right out. After her final awkward joke, and the host fucking my name up, it was my time to shine!

As I walked up to the stage I was literally thinking the whole time, “Fuck this host, fuck this place, fuck this crowd, fuck this night!” The result was a less than thrilling performance. I didn’t bomb by any means. I got a few laughs, but no belly laughs or anything. It was just okay. Which, by the standards I’ve set for myself, is not okay.

Eh, oh well. I am very excited about Friday. The only good thing that came out of yesterday’s suckfest is that the booker invited me to do a show on Friday to make up for it. So now I am doing two shows on Friday. Can’t wait!



  1. I could never face a night like that. That’s why I’m not a stand-up comedian. :pMy thing is writing, and my dad always told me that you have to write tons before you come up with a gold nugget (paraphrase). Perhaps the same is true with comedians?I hope you get to really let go TWICE on Friday and have an awesome time. ~V

  2. Eh, shit happens. As a musician that’s been on more than one “gig from hell,” I can empathize with you. It was particularly important that the show start on time yesterday, because I bought my dad…You BOUGHT your dad?!?!? For how much? 

  3. @vanedave – I heard somewhere that one comedian (I think on Howard Stern) loved nights that were dead because he would bust out all of his “experimental” pieces and see if they would work on larger audiences. Maybe you could write pieces you could test out next time you find yourself in front of a low attendance. My punk band had a song, “Shitty nights in shitty clubs” we would bust out. It was basically 30 seconds of really bad music with the lyrics “Shitty nights in shitty clubs, oh well not enough people here, we still have our fun and buy everyone a round of beer”. In which we did provide cheap alcoholic beverages to the 5-10 lost souls who straggled out to the club to drink, more than see my sorry band.

  4. Alright here’s what you do, turn on your webcam (don’t go to oovoo to record this HAHA) and record your gig from tonight, then post it right here for the masses to enjoy, because we will. If it makes it funnier, I’ll watch it with my webcam on so you can watch my reaction. now that would be funny.

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