A Blog About Sexual Relations

It’s not often that I discuss sexual relations on my blog. I am truly sorry if you are feeling a bit squirmish right now. Just think about baseball while you are reading this.

Yesterday, shortly after my girlfriend and I finished doing some “Pilates” together, I started giggling out of the blue. Obviously she wanted to know what was so funny (because she is friggin nosey as hell!), so I tried my best to explain what was going on in my head.

haha. Gets me everytime!

First I was wondering what she tells her friends when they ask about our sex life. (Well in our case its when they used to ask about it. We’ve been together for a while so those questions have long since been adressed.) I don’t know why I became curious about it all of a sudden. I guess maybe since it was a particularly productive “Pilates” session, part of me wanted to know if she goes and tells her girlfriends how many calories she burned. It’s all about the ego folks. I am not ashamed to admit it.

What made me giggle the most though was thinking about how different the “first time with a new lover” conversation is for women than it is for men. Women want to know things about it. Was it good? Is there chemistry? How long? How big? In my girl’s case she did not give very many details because she knew I was keeper. She just said “I handled my business” (or at least that’s what she told me she said). They usually go into more detail when the sex is bad. When it’s good the facial expressions and happy woman glow say it all.

With men it’s a whole different ball game. This is the conversation for men:

“Yo did you hit that yet?”

“Damn straight I did!”

“Hell yeah! That’s what I’m talkin’ bout!”

That is it. No further elaboration needed.

However if men do elaborate, it is only to brag about their performance. Stuff like, “aww man I had her begging for mercy!” Women on the other hand will always talk about how the other party did. (Thanks to KW for that little tidbit.)

So this is the way the sex convo goes. I’ll end with a question my girlfriend asked me.

In your opinion, how important is sex to a relationship?
If you had to put a percentage on it, what would it be?




  1. I think sex is both and important and an unimportant part. I have had very good sex with people that the actual ‘relationship’ part was absolute shite. So I had sex with them a few times more just because it was that good. I think sex is a great part of relationship, even if you choose not to have it, the sexual attraction is a great part. But it is not remotely what holds a couple together. There has to be a lot more for the relationship to be good. 

  2. The thing that is important is that you both share the same view of it, whether you don’t have it at all or have it four times a day.  That’s 100% important.  If someone feels lacking or feels worn out, there’s a problem.

  3. I think sex is important but it isn’t everything.  It helps build trust and intimacy but I know couples that were handicapped and that hinder things.  That doesn’t stop a person from have a close relationship.

  4. i’ve never had sex haha. (: but i don’t think you’re girlfriend doesn’t go into details. all girls talk, haha no matter who it is. she probably didn’t give a number for your member, but she probably held her hands out for a size. she might not have given a time for how long, but she probably implied it was either a long time, or not a long time at all. aha

  5. I too think about the “sex conversation”.  I always wonder what he tells his friends… I actually want him to brag… LOLSex is a huge part.  I think it makes up a good solid 45%.  Not quite half, but still close enough.  If the sex is not good, that means the intimacy may not be in sync, which in turn makes the relationship tense.  So it’s a big part of it.

  6. I wouldn’t know.But Good lord if I haven’t sat through some of those conversations, biting my nails. :PPhysical intimacy is important. Five love languages = physical touch. It’s how we… uh… fill our buckets.

  7. “I handled my business”…dope. lol Your gf sounds awesome. In a relationship, sex isn’t important to me at all. But fter marriage, if we’re not making something happen, I’ll be pissed. like, hey, I’ve gotten to know you already, so what gives?

  8. I think the percentage changes with the status of the relationship. The very very beginning it’s small.  This is the point you’re getting to  know if this is the kind of person you want to be with and have sex with, or  if  the relationship isn’t  gonna go anywhere.  However, shortly after this point, it’s in the 60% range.  We don’t know if the relationship is going to marriage, so it  doesn’t necessarily have to be sex that’s  so great, because there’s  a chance we might not end up together, so there’s that  option to find someone better, but I still need me some sex, so it’s more than 50%.  Then as the relationship gets  more serious and heads towards marriage, it’s more like  70%.  If this is the only person I’m having sex with for the rest of  my life, it’s GOT to  be good sex.  I can’t keep faking it (What?  who does that?  not me).  After marriage, and through children and everything, it’s more like 80-90%.  Couples that stop having sex, or are only doing it to go through the motions or to have kids, are  setting themselves up for disaster.  Sex is very important, and if you’re not getting it at home, the temptation to get it elsewhere  will grow.  It always does.  And then late in life when you’ve spent 50+ years with someone and  your body parts aren’t exactly in  working order necessarily, then  it becomes much less important.  Was that enough of a novel to answer your question? 

  9. While dating it was good 100% of the time.  After marriage and kids, I got it 2% of the time.  Don’t get married.  Now, I take of myself 95% of the time.  Porn uses 53% of my processor, but it’s HD video and streams fine via broadband.  I gave away 98% of my xxx dvd collection.  I’m 80% sure I answered the question wrong. 

  10. I think, yes sex is important to a relationship, but it doesn’t come first, you need to build your relationship before taking that step. You setp on dangerous ground when you don’t. And find you could get hurt by acting rashly.

  11. I think if sex was in the relationship as a biggie from the get go then it’s hugely important.  All sex slows down a bit after dating/being married for a while but if it’s a significant drop then that’s not cool at all.  Personally, I’d give it about 40% of importance but that doesn’t mean you have to be having sex 40% of the time. 

  12. Sex is important for LIFE.Of course there are other things that matter… deep conversations, compatible personalities, the “connection”…But really, how you make love to someone should be the perfect expression of the rest of your relationship- how you feel about each other, how comfortable you are with each other.Also. Sex is a physical need. And isn’t it amazing to satisfy someone else’s need while satisfying your own at the same time? It’s almost like working a miracle. It’s god-like. It’s the most amazing thing that the human body can do.And, if you are doing it right and with the right person, it can be a spiritual experience.So it’s pretty important… in my opinion…

  13. Sex is about 60% of a relationship. But that’s only works positively, not negatively, so if good sex is not being had, it doesn’t work against you. But if good sex is being had, it makes everything about 60% better.

  14. Hmmmm, you couldn’t have asked me this right after a bout with hubby? *sigh* Fine, if I HAD to give it a percentage…. 49.9999% The other parts of making love are just as important as the sex part. 

  15. I think it’s different for every person. I have friends that are happy with sex once a month in their relationships.  Me, I’m horrified to think that it could ever come to that!  There are other things I consider more important in a relationship than sex, but I do think it’s important. I’ll go with 40%, too.

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