The Tao of Dave

Just some quick thoughts I wanted to run by you guys. Try not to let your mind get blown by any of these.

Philosophy 101

One should not eat Taco Bell if they are not prepared to deal with loose bowels.

What do you call a female dog when she is being a stupid bitch?

There are plenty of fish in the sea… as well as plenty of crabs.

Going against the crowd doesn’t automatically make you a rebel. Sometimes it just makes you a dumbass!

You only get one chance to make an awkward first impression.

The man who does not like to tie his own shoes would be wise to invest in loafers.

You can’t turn a ho into a housewife. That is unless you live in a whorehouse.

Number 1 is way easier to hold than number 2. Obviously these numbers don’t represent their respective levels of priority.

I am not a big fan of uncomfortable silences, but it sure is a good alternative to listening to certain people talk. 

The term “got your nuts in a vice” seems a tad overly dramatic.

Well that’s all I got for now. Don’t worry grasshoppers, there will be more to follow soon.



  1. Taco Bell and I have developed a love-hate relationship as I’ve gotten older. *sigh* I know I shouldn’t – I know it’s bad for me – but I just keep going back. If only it weren’t so…so…alluring. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s good and easy to get! I always regret it the next morning, but that doesn’t stop me from going back so many nights.

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