Dave’s Sexy/Unsexy Girl of the Week

What is sexy? Is sexy more about looks or is it more about a swagger? Is it more about cup size or more about personality? I wanted to start this little feature so I could shed some light on this subject. Think you know what sexy is? Think again.

Each week I will pick two girls. The first is my Sexy “Unsexy” Girl of the week. This is someone who is typically not thought of as a sex symbol, but is sexy as hell to me. Next is my Unsexy “Sexy” Girl of the Week. This is the opposite. I will pick some chick who people have deemed to be hot shit and proceed to shatter that perception. So with that I give you this week’s edition.

Dave’s Sexy “Unsexy” Girl of the Week – Ellen DeGeneres

Think I’ve got a shot? 

Her wife, Portia DeRossi, might get more votes in the sexy department, but you wanna know the main reason why Ellen is so sexy? Confidence, that’s why. She’s got boatloads of it.

Occasionally, when I go to grab a snack in my office breakroom, the Ellen show will be playing on the TV. Whenever I walk in to the part where she is dancing, I have to pause and watch. It is some of the most god awful, robotic, whitebread dancing ever, but I am mesmerized by it every time. She is just so free out there. The other day I was watching some of this dancing and I couldn’t help but think to myself, “look at her, with her checkered sweater vest, and her Converse all stars, and her chicken dance. She is sexy as shit!”

Aww yeah baby… Raise that roof! 

Also, I think I have a thing for power lesbians. Rachel Maddow is super hot to me too. Know who isn’t hot?…

Dave’s Unsexy “Sexy” Girl of the Week – Lady Gaga

No you may not take a ride on my disco stick! 

Can someone please explain the appeal here? I can understand liking her music, but please, PLEASE do not try to tell me this chick is sexy. She is just whorish, that’s all (Although, whorish seems to be the standard these days). She is really quite repulsive to me.

Look at these recent pics. What the hell did she do to her skin? You mean to tell me if you were set up on a blind date and THIS showed up, you wouldn’t go running for the hills? She looks like something out of my four year old niece’s coloring book! 

Eck! That is one fucked up poker face if you ask me. 

Tune in next week for more. Peace.



  1. I love LOVE Ellen! She’s hilarious and I agree that her confidence makes her much more appealing.She’s also hilarious too.Have you ever watched her Here and Now tour? It’s totally worth watching, and a really good laugh.

  2. Ellen cracks me up. And the “whitebread” dancing is so freaking true (and hilarious)!…Isn’t there a rumor that Lady Gaga isn’t originally a female or something? I have no idea about how any of that is. But it would make sense.

  3. YES! Hell yes, I completely agree, especially with Ellen. I have always found her incredibly attractive, for that exact reason. I think she woudl be so fun to hang out with and, admittedly, I’ve had a crush on her for some time, haha.Lady Gaga is an on/off thing to me – I’ve seen some pics of her that I thought she was incredibly beautiful in.. but then, yeah, I see things like what you posted and am like “eugh” makes me sick. I’m glad you did this, I hope you make it a weekly thing, and stick with it

  4. i agree. Gaga is… ewwwwww. actually, in that last photo, she looks like Katie Price. O_oand you’re right, actually, whoever’s got confidence inside, it shows on the outside! :Di think i’m gonna enjoy this new… series! i look forward to it! šŸ™‚

  5. Ellen is hot. Period.Now, I also like the way Lady Gaga looks (especially since I’ve had an obsession with having beautiful white hair like that since about the second grade, when I got a barbie with white hair, and I’ve wanted to copy it ever since). But her SKIN just looks awful in both of those pictures… plus that lipstick in the second one… *shudder*

  6. Ellen is DEFINITELY on the list of “Lesbians Who Sometimes Make Me Wish I Was A Woman”. lol Hmm… I may post that full list one day. And as far as Lady Gaga… I think the fantasy of who she is gets shattered by the reality of who she is. I was never a fan.

  7. I can’t handle white hair.  Or her name.  Maybe it’s wrong, but I judge people based on their names.  So if I have to run around calling someone ‘Gaga’ I’m out, because that’s unattractive.  Haha.  ā™„

  8. I think what’s sexy about Ellen is that she doesn’t *try* to be sexy. As for “lady” Gaga…well… my mama taught me not to talk about people like that.

  9. ahaahhh i love this post so much ā¤ i deff agree with yu. ellen is so confident and funny. that right there makes her sexy. lady gaga looks like a fake barbie doll in those pictures. it makes her look absolutely horrible and disgusting. and slowly but surely, more people are wanting to be exactly like her.

  10. Lady Gaga is NOT HOT.swagger and confidence always make a woman more attractive.  always.  i like Ellen because she’s really funny.  although, it was weird for her to be a judge on So You Think You Can Dance… because she really CAN’T dance.

  11. Hilarious comments about Lady Gaga!  I remember having one of those Barbie heads that you could do hair and makeup on.  That’s how a kid would probably do the makeup.

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