Dave’s Sexy/Unsexy Girl of the Week

In case you hadn’t heard, I have officially put myself in charge of bringing sexy back around here. Its a pretty large responsibility, but someone had to set things right. I just can’t stand to see sexiness misjudged the way it so commonly is these days. Someone’s gotta tell it like it really is.

So let’s see who made the list this week…

Dave’s Sexy “Unsexy” Girl of the Week – Dame Judi Dench

JudiDench
Age ain’t nothin’ but a number.

First off, let’s begin with the fact that she is a Dame. She is official! That in itself oozes sexy.

Beyond that, there are a number of things that make Dame Judi sexy as hell. First off she is so distinguished (think the female Sean Connery). Usually its only men that can pull off the sexy distinguished older look. Call it a blatant double standard if you want, but it’s the truth. Men get more distinguished as we grow older and women just get older as they get older. This is usually how it goes.

Somehow Dame Judi defies these norms. She just seems like she knows things. Like she can teach you about the world, yourself, the Kama Sutra, and whatever else you need. Plus she has a strength about her. Like she could kick your ass if she really wanted to, but she is chillin’ right now so she won’t. There is nothing helpless about her, which is definitely sexy.

Lastly, the way Dame Judi carries herself oozes sexuality. It’s like she knows she has to be the elegant elder stateswoman, but at the same time she is not afraid to let loose a little bit. She has a subtle playfullness that is always underlying her conservative exterior. Plus, let’s not forget that the conservative exterior is still pretty damn hot for an older woman!

Judi
Are you looking for me my love? 

Moving on…

Dave’s Unsexy “Sexy” Girl of the Week – Amber Rose

Amber Rose
Take me to your leader Earthlings! 

Here’s the bottom line; Amber Rose scares the crap out of me. She looks like she is two seconds away from stabbing you while you are sleeping. Run Kanye! Run while you still have completely functioning legs!

The thing about her is that she is actually pretty. She is just so damn extra with everything. I wish she had a damn job. Maybe then she wouldn’t be so bored and think, hey I bet it would be cool to look like an alien today. Bad things happen when people are bored. Michael Jackson’s surgeries, Brittney Spears’ marriage, Shaquille O’Neal’s music career, the Iraq War, etc.

The worst thing about Amber Rose to me though, is that she is trashy posing as classy. Here are some famous quotes that apply directly to Amber Rose:

“You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig”

“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me its raining.”

“You can’t turn a ho into a housewife.”

amber_rose
She looks like a ho-ish cyborg sent to kill us all! 
NOT SEXY!!!

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48 comments

  1. Bad things happen when people are bored. Michael Jackson’s surgeries, Brittney Spears’ marriage, Shaquille O’Neal’s music career, the Iraq War, etc.Ha!! Did you see that movie with Judi Dench where she tries to reunite a Jazz band from the WWII era? I forgot the name.

  2. Amber Rose really is a good pic. You know she is naturally physically attractive, but no I am not going to do it, is what I think most sober men would say. And the drunk ones are never seen again.

  3. Niiiice. I like this week’s choices! I see what you mean about Dame Judi Dench. As for the second one, a) I’d never heard of her before this and b) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah *runs*. “Bad things happen when people are bored. Michael Jackson’s surgeries,Brittney Spears’ marriage, Shaquille O’Neal’s music career, the IraqWar, etc.” Hahaha. Classic!

  4. Good call Dave. Maybe next week you could mention Dame Edna. hehehehehe   I find some of the older babes hot. Remember Anne Margret, Racquel Welch……  women like that were wicked hot. Now we have Lindsay Lohan as a super star to  (gag)  idolize. Paris and (barf)   Nicole the fuckin’ junkie Richie.  har har har  (hurl)  arf arf!!  Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!   I’m losing it. 

  5. Funny. Is this an elected position you hold here on Xanga? Or is it just by avocation? Just making sure, in case you get out of hand – to see what recourse we have. But sofar you’re on track. 

  6. Dame Judi is one of my favorite actors. I love her in “As Time Goes By,” I love her as M, and she’s hysterical as Queen Elizabeth I in “Shakespeare in Love.” I’ve loved her in everything I’ve seen her in. And you’re so right, she looks sexy and beautiful, while the bald chick looks creepy (not to mention stoned in that first photo).

  7. Oh my god Dave…we are completely on the same page!  I’m in love with Judi!  I’d throw myself at her feet and be her rug if she’d just be my sugar mama.  I wish more women really had a better understanding of their own powers because I think there would be a whole lot more Judi’s in the world, looking classy, wise and somewhat naughty at the same time.  I’ve heard she is a giggler too, that on movie sets and stage she is prone to jokes and puns….ah, how could you not love that kind of gal!?!And yes, Amber scares me too!  It’s like my brain gets confused just looking at her: is she a witch, alien, somehow anime cartoon chick come to life?  I’ll admit seeing her lovely bottom makes me go all stupid, but then I have to shake me head and regain my sanity.  I think bookies are already taking bets on how long it will take before she burns one of Kane’s houses to the ground.Love the post my dear!

  8. “I wish she had a damn job. Maybe then she wouldn’t be so bored andthink, hey I bet it would be cool to look like an alien today.”Ahahahahaha. Made my day, friend. Made my day.

  9. i COMPLETELY agree with this.  dame judi dench is the badassest.  and wtf, amber rose?  didn’t even know who she was til i read this, but i’m baffled why anyone would find her attractive.

  10. While I think Amber Rose has a FUNNY looking face..her body is SiCK with it! I could only HOPE to achieve something liek that via tons of plastic surgery and working out and not eating anything but 900 calories a day (LOL)

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