Dave’s Sexy/Unsexy Girl of the Week

In case you hadn’t heard, I have officially put myself in charge of bringing sexy back around here. Its a pretty large responsibility, but someone had to set things right. I just can’t stand to see sexiness misjudged the way it so commonly is these days. Someone’s gotta tell it like it really is.

So let’s see who made the list this week…

Dave’s Sexy “Unsexy” Girl of the Week – Dame Judi Dench

Age ain’t nothin’ but a number.

First off, let’s begin with the fact that she is a Dame. She is official! That in itself oozes sexy.

Beyond that, there are a number of things that make Dame Judi sexy as hell. First off she is so distinguished (think the female Sean Connery). Usually its only men that can pull off the sexy distinguished older look. Call it a blatant double standard if you want, but it’s the truth. Men get more distinguished as we grow older and women just get older as they get older. This is usually how it goes.

Somehow Dame Judi defies these norms. She just seems like she knows things. Like she can teach you about the world, yourself, the Kama Sutra, and whatever else you need. Plus she has a strength about her. Like she could kick your ass if she really wanted to, but she is chillin’ right now so she won’t. There is nothing helpless about her, which is definitely sexy.

Lastly, the way Dame Judi carries herself oozes sexuality. It’s like she knows she has to be the elegant elder stateswoman, but at the same time she is not afraid to let loose a little bit. She has a subtle playfullness that is always underlying her conservative exterior. Plus, let’s not forget that the conservative exterior is still pretty damn hot for an older woman!

Are you looking for me my love? 

Moving on…

Dave’s Unsexy “Sexy” Girl of the Week – Amber Rose

Take me to your leader Earthlings! 

Here’s the bottom line; Amber Rose scares the crap out of me. She looks like she is two seconds away from stabbing you while you are sleeping. Run Kanye! Run while you still have completely functioning legs!

The thing about her is that she is actually pretty. She is just so damn extra with everything. I wish she had a damn job. Maybe then she wouldn’t be so bored and think, hey I bet it would be cool to look like an alien today. Bad things happen when people are bored. Michael Jackson’s surgeries, Brittney Spears’ marriage, Shaquille O’Neal’s music career, the Iraq War, etc.

The worst thing about Amber Rose to me though, is that she is trashy posing as classy. Here are some famous quotes that apply directly to Amber Rose:

“You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig”

“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me its raining.”

“You can’t turn a ho into a housewife.”

She looks like a ho-ish cyborg sent to kill us all! 
NOT SEXY!!!

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