Sometimes I Feel Like Quitting…

I was supposed to do a set last night in Manhattan for this “red carpet” webshow event. The show was mainly rappers and singers, with a few spoken word poets thrown in the mix. I was going to be the only comic.

The format of the evening was supposed to be as follows.

The webshow would be taped from 7:30-9:30. I would do a quick 4 minute set and then give a quick interview after. Then at 10 there was going to be a showcase in which I would do 8 minutes. There were supposed to be a few magazines, and other types of press there (nothing  big, but exposure was the key). Here is the kicker. I paid to be on this show. 50 dollars to be exact.

I am an idiot. This is the first and last time I have ever done something like that.

So I get to the place at 7 and the dude is in front. I gave him the money, which he had wanted ahead of time, but I told him I’d give it to him there. If the place had been empty, I would have just turned around and went home.

I wish it had been empty.

I was stuck waiting around at that place for almost four hours. The webshow came and went without me getting one second of time. Then the showcase started at ten and I still had no idea what was going on. By that time, I was determined to get my money back. I waited for it to end and then talked to the dude who had my money. He tried to give me the run around telling me I had to talk to his partner. I spent fifteen minutes locating his partner and then brought him over so I could talk to both of them at the same time.

Despite the fact that I had asked about ten different times when I would be going up, despite the fact that I never the building, despite the fact that I was not on the webshow (which is what the money was supposed to be for in the first place), the guy still tried to say he wasn’t giving me my money back because he called me to the stage and I did not respond. Hello! I was there for four hours! Was I supposed to be on standby the entire night!!!

I started to lose my cool after arguing with them for about ten minutes. This is when the woman who was taking money at the door stepped in and gave me my money back. I had never even spoken to her, yet she was the one who ended up saying “that’s not how we do business”. The dude still didn’t want to let her give it to me either. I wanted to fuck his shit up so bad! 

And so xanga, that was my night yesterday. Another day, another lesson learned. This business can be a real bitch sometimes.

Hey how bout watching this video to make me feel better…



  1. What a couple of diks. I would have felt like kicking the shit out of them but that could get you a bad rep and screw you up. I hope you don’t run into any more scammers like this. Hang in there. 

  2. Wow, thank god there was one civil person there. What a bunch of ass hats.Man your shit is GOLDEN!! Like im the kind of person who spends most of my time watching stand-up on TV, and so far all the videos i’ve seen of you are fucking hilarious!! You look very relaxed and its not like your TRYING to make a joke, your just telling a story, but its hilarious. Awesome, seriously awesome.

  3. ^_^ that must have really sucked. Well, at least you got your money back. I don’t have as much patience. I don’t trust the whole money before hand thing anyway. The crowd really seems to like you. that means you’re awesome! ^_^

  4. Daaaang. You probably should have rearranged someone’s face. I write a lot of poetry (at least, I used to) and when it came to being published I learned early on that if they every ask for money, WALK AWAY.  I guess we’re always looking for success that we’re willing to skip corners and turn a blind eye to bad judgement.  At least your learned a valuable lesson AND got your money back. I hope you have more success in your future endeavors.

  5. How screwed up. At least, you said it yourself, you learnt a lesson. 🙂 I am glad the nice woman gave you the money back. I’m sorry for such a bad night!The video. Hahahahaha, that was hilarious. You are great, I swear! 😀 I love your smile!Don’t ever quit, k? I used to only watch French stand-up because I never found English/America comedians funny. Maybe I was only unfortunate to have been exposed to only the crappy ones, but you, sir, are awesome! So I say again: don’t evaaaaaaaaaaaaa quit. EVAAAAAAAAAAA.

  6. dude, I used to book local shows around here and I had similar problems. Usually it was the outsider bands who made the problem but a few times I had venue issues and needless to say I never went back to those venues.I got out of that business cuz it was way too screwy.

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