Lols

OH YOU THINK YOU TOUGH??!!!!

There is nothing on earth that gives people balls more than a keyboard and a screen. The most mild mannered of folk can turn into viscous animals when they get on the internet. Whether it be a comment on a youtube video, a forum post, a reply to a blog, or review on yelp, an all out war of words is always just seconds from breaking out. I don’t know what it is that gives people the balls.

Oh wait… yes I do. They are hundreds of miles away and anonymous. That’s right.

I’ve always found internet toughness to be a fascinating subject. Watching trolls in action is sort of like watching kids in a schoolyard during recess. You can always tell the ones who are acting out, the ones who just want attention, the ones who are just doing it because they see others doing it, and of course the ones who need to be separated because they are genuinely fucking crazy!


LEAVE THIS KID ALONE!!!

Since this is such a fun topic, I decided to do a radio show about it. It will be tonight at 10 PM ET and it is going to be awesome. Here’s the link:

DAVE AND ALEX’S RADIO SHOW

To start the discussion I will share with you some of the types of trolls you might encounter on the interwebs. I’ll give you my top three and then you can take it from there:

Dave’s Top Three Internet Troll Breeds

1. The Say Anything to Fuck With You Troll – This troll never really speaks in coherent sentences or words. They will just post total nonsense like “WEEEEEEEEEE!!!” or “My taint itches when it rains.” These are both comments I have received in the past.

2. The Racist/Homophobic at the Drop of a Hat Troll – This troll usually reverts to racism or homophobia the second you question him/her (usually him) on anything.

“I don’t think the Yankees are going to make the playoffs.”
“Yeah you would think that you nigger. Probably like those faggot Mets.”
“Yeah, I’m a Mets fan.”

3. The Post Hijacker Troll – This troll is the worst to me. They will take any chance they get to turn your post into a forum for whatever issue they want to air out at the time. For example, yesterday on facebook my friend posted this cool video of Rhonda Rousey doing judo. I made the comment that Ray Rice should try to mess with her. A rather innocent passing barb. Some asshole after me calls me ignorant, then proceeds to write a ten paragraph rant on men being victims of domestic violence. 

Dick.

Okay, now you go. What type of trolls do you encounter?

Join the discussion tonight at 10 PM ET – here

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MEGA MILLIONS!!!


I’M RICH BIATCH!!!

What would you do if you won the mega millions? Would you be an asshole about it? Would you be kind and generous? We don’t want to know those corny cliche answeres. We want the truth, damnit!

Winning the Mega Millions…

Tonight at 10 PM
Call in live at: 858-815-2314

We are also sneaking some playoff basketball talk in!

Jersey Shore is Done!

You had your routine all set:

Every Thursday at 10 PM, you turn on your TV and immerse yourself in the complete and utter tomfoolery that is Jersey Shore. (Yep. I said “tomfoolery”. I’m bringing it back!) You do it because somewhere deep inside of you, you have become accustomed to the idiocy. It may have started off with the Real World, or maybe Flavor of Love, or maybe even Fox and Friends, but now you’ve come to depend on the Shore for your fix.

Jersey Shore Season 3
You have a disease. I am not judging you.

Now that Jersey Shore is over, where are you going to turn for your weekly supply of stupid? Where will your brain cells now go to die a slow, methodical death? Before you go searching through MTV’s programming schedule, might I make a suggestion?

There is a show, which comes on at the same convenient 10 PM time slot. A show which, if given the chance, can be a fairly steady source of wtf moments and ridiculous antics. For example, here are some of the stupid things you can look forward to on tonight’s show:

– Dave and Alex figure out if their taste in music is gay.
– Can you catch the gay? Our in depth (not literally) research is revealed.
– Tonight’s guests include a black standup comic from Wisconsin (I didn’t even know they had black people) and a dude who wants people to pay him to chop his penis off.

That last part was totally serious.

So join me and my cast of merry fools tonight for another episode of NYComedyUnderground radio. It’s fun and it’s free.

Listen online: That’s Kinda Gay

Call in live: 858-815-2314

Ship of Fools

Join me tonight at 10 PM ET, for another thrilling episode of NYComedyUnderground Radio. My guests tonight include comedians Brian Baron, and Brett Eidman. We will be celebrating stupidity on the Eve of the most ridiculous day of the year (aside from Valentine’s Day, of course.)

Date / Time: 3/31/2011 10:00 PM

Category: Comedy

Call-in Number: (858) 815-2314

Join us for a pre April Fool’s day celebration of stupidity. We’ve got stupid news, we’ve got stupid stories, and of course we’ve got stupid people. (Not naming any names.)

The Best Show Yet!

I love it when something comes together exactly as you planned it. Yesterday was one of those times.

Last night’s show on strip club etiquette was by far the best show we’ve done so far. It was fun, we had great guests, and on top of everything else, it was educational. It actually went even better than I had hoped for.

Let me give you a quick recap:

10:00 – The show started off on a musical note. Alex (my co-host for the night) and I discussed some of the best songs for stripping and fielded some suggestions from twitter and facebook. Our choices included Low by Flo Rida, The Whisper Song by The Ying Yang Twins, and Doo Doo Brown by Uncle Luke.

10:10 – Our first guest was a female exotic dancer by the name of Bianca. Alex expressed his great appreciation for her work and we both took turns asking her questions about her craft. Among other things, we learned that it is okay to get aroused while getting a lap dance, and the best ways to tip your dancers at the club.

10:25 – We opened up the lines to callers who had questions for Bianca and discussed more basic rules of strip club etiquette. We also touched on important factors such as strip club food and strip club ATMs.

10:35 – Our second guest was just as much fun as the first. A male dancer by the name of Anthony joined us and shared some of his experiences in the exotic entertainment parties. We explored the topics of sex crazed old women, male strippers being gay, and what Anthony does when a guy wants to tip him at a party.

10:45 – Some of our lady listeners called in with some very interesting questions for Anthony. My favorite being, “Do you ever put your penis on women’s foreheads?” 

10:55 – I shared the story of Queen LaQueefa with my guests and listeners. We all had a great laugh as I told tales of her unique talents.

I encourage you all to have a listen when you have a chance. You can listen to archived shows via the website at any time. Here are the links. (I am also posting the player on this page.)

LISTEN IN DEFAULT PLAYER

Sub to the show at www.blogtalkradio.com/vanedave

Or you can listen to the show here via the player below:

  

Listen to internet radio with vanedave on Blog Talk Radio

Fake Holidays

Well everyone, its officially St. Patrick’s Day. Are you drunk yet?

Of all the fake holidays out there, St. Patrick’s Day has got to be one of the best. Now when I say fake holiday, I don’t mean that St. Patrick’s Day doesn’t mean something to certain people. There are true Irish men and women who hold the day near and dear to their hearts. They celebrate with traditions that have been passed on from generation to generation. They gather with their friends and families and break bread, they participate in parades, and instead of going crazy for green beer, they get drunk on the real stuff.


STRAIGHT WHISKEY BITCHES!!!

As for the rest of us, St. Patty’s Day is a fake holiday. An excuse to go out and party and blow off work.

There are many fake holidays in the year. Valentine’s Day, Halloween, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Cinco de Mayo, Election Day, and of course all of the Jewish Holidays. Of all the fake holidays, St. Patty’s Day has got to be right up there in terms of awesomeness. People get up at the crack of dawn and are in bars and pubs from the wee morning hours till late at night. It is a non-stop party! Halloween also gets high marks for all the girls who dress up all slutty and stuff, but sometimes planning a costume can be a pain in the ass. Today all you need is a green shirt and an ID card.


Remember…Never drink and blog.

So what do you guys think? What is your favorite fake holiday?

JOIN IN THIS DISCUSSION LIVE TONIGHT ON NYCOMEDYUNDERGROUND RADIO.

Online: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vanedave/2011/03/18/a-fine-excuse-to-drink
Call in: 858-815-2314