Christmas List

My Letter to Santa (for KC)

So yesterday I set the record straight as far as my manhood is concerned. (By the way you guys left some wonderful comments. I’m glad you guys were feeling me on that one.) I now feel comfortable completing this assignment. This is for Featured_Grownups and my pal Krissy_Cole (I love her).

Dear Santa,

May I call you Santa or do you prefer Mr. Claus? How about Kris or Nick? Let’s just stick with Santa. So its been a little while since my last letter. Sorry about that. I’ve been super busy over the last 16 or 17 years. I mean if you were busy like I was busy then you would understand. So before I get into the good stuff (my Christmas list) there are a few things I wanted to address.

First off what’s all this talk I’ve been hearing about you not being real. I mean come on that’s just ridiculous. If you aren’t real then who am I writing this letter to huh? Explain that one to me. I mean society has just become so cynical Santa. There are so many skeptics trying to bring you down. So please just answer these questions for me so I can shut them up once and for all;
– How do you get into houses with no chimney? I’ve always gone with the theory that you make a fireplace and chimney appear and disappear, but I could be wrong.
– How do you make it to every house in one night? Okay is this a pause in the time space continuum thing or what?
– What’s your favorite Christmas song/movie? This one is just for my personal curiosity.
– Is your workshop at the North Pole underground or is it just invisible to the naked eye? 
– Do you give gifts to adults who are truly kids at hear or do you only give gifts to real kids? I’ve got my fingers crossed on this one!

Thanks in advance for answering those. It should really help when I am defending your existence. Now about some of these mall Santas. Look I don’t know if you are aware, but the average quality of these guys has been dropping. Maybe you should go to court on this one and make sure that all mall Santas have to meet certain contractual standards. I do legal work. I might be able to help you out with this one. Have your people call my people.

Okay now for the list. Now remember it’s been 16 years since my last letter so I have some makeup presents to account for…
1993: Sega Genesis. I ended up getting one a year or two later, but I have long since lost it. I want one again.
1994: A Golden Retriever Puppy – I’ve always wanted one, but my dad didn’t like dogs that shed.
1995: Uncanny X-Men # 1 – If you can pull this one off that would be pretty sweet.
1996: Sony Playstation – I always wanted a PS1. Never got it though.
1997: Mortal Kombat Trilogy – I wanted this game so bad. If you bring me the PS1 get me the game for that console.
1998: Autographed Picture of Michael Jordan’s last shot in Utah – You know MJ right? Make it happen.
1999: Life Insurance – Just in case the whole Y2K thing wasn’t a crock of shit.
2000: A date with Halle Berry – I always wanted this Santa. If you get me one thing on this list let it be this.
2001: A million dollars – It was for college Santa. You want me to be smart right?
2002: A new car – Well I have a car now, but if you are feeling extra generous a new Acura TL would be nice. See I picked a relatively modest car so as not to be greedy.
2003: World Peace – This was my naive phase.
2004: A new coach and GM for the Knicks – Okay you can cross this one off. It took a while but I think we’re okay here.
2005: A ticket home – I was in the army in Watertown (eew gross). I’m home now so thanks.
2006: Inspector Gadget’s Car – The one where the boot comes out the front. Oh the idiot kids I could use that on in my neighborhood. GET THE HELL OUT OF THE STREET!
2007: Tickets to Paris – Okay so this one is more for my woman. She really wants to go Santa.
2008: A safe and happy holiday for all of my xanga friends – That is all I want this year. Oh and Rock Band 2 (complete set)

Okay that’s all I got. Time for you to get to work buddy. Nice catching up with you though. I’ll leave the milk and cookies out like old times, but if they are gone you can blame my little brother (that little shit always used to eat your cookies). If you are mad then you can just give me his presents. Good luck this year!

Your Pal,
Dave

Black Friday My ASS!!!

So thanksgiving has come and gone. We are now officially into the “holiday season”. Break out the egg nog, the decorations, the unused christmas cards from last year,  the holiday music, and of course the shopping carts. Today is Black Friday. Supposedly the best and biggest shopping day of the year. I have never really paticipated in Black Friday, but today I woke up bright and early to check and see what kind of super deals I could find. I was looking specifically for a great deal on a camcorder. You know what I found? Nothing! Nada! Zilch! I mean there were some decent sales, but nothing great. Nothing worth getting up at 5 AM for. Store after store was disappointing. Best Buy, Circuit City, Target, Wal-Mart, Staples. All of them sucked. Even the open box items were not really marked down. 25% off for an open box item sucks. I’ll see if I have a little better luck at the outlets after work this afternoon.

Thanksgiving itself was nice, albeit long and tiring. I started the day off with a very fun game of football. My team won 6-4 so we got the bragging rights. Hopefully I can make this a new tradition because everyone seems to want to do it again. After the game I ran home and showered up. Dinner was served at my grandmother’s (mom’s side) by 3:30. I had some fried turkey, some delicious yams, and some stuffing, before hitting the road to go to my other grandmother’s house (father’s side). I said a quick hello over there, sampled some wine and their turkey, then headed to the Bronx to see my girlfriend’s family. We got there around 5:30 and stayed till about 9:30. They were very happy that I was able to stay for that long. I was happy I did not have to hear a guilt trip. Tomorrow my Dad will be having his own dinner at his house so that will mark the end of the Thanksgiving festivities for me. I am going to be full till next Tuesday. 

So as I mentioned before I will be a complete sap for the next month. I plan to have a lot going on here for the holidays. Some fun games, trivia, music for you guys every day. I am going to start by doing this list I got from Kellychicky’s page. You don’t have to read it, but if you feel compelled to that’s cool too. See you guys Monday probably.

Sidenote: I didn’t mention this last week, but Thank You Donnie Walsh (GM of the Knicks) for finally giving us Knicks fans something to hope for. Your trades last week were a stroke of genius. Now we get to look forward to a future which could realistically include Lebron James and Chris Bosh. I love you sir.

If you are reading this then you are tagged and should do it for yourself and us to read. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. 

Tis the Season to be NICE!

 

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Depends on the gift, but wrapping paper usually.

 

2. Real tree or Artificial? Ain’t nuthin’ like the real thing baby.

 

3. When do you put up the tree? Usually about two weeks before christmas.


4. When do you take the tree down? Right after Three King’s Day (around Jan 5th)

 

5. Do you like eggnog? Way too much, even though it gives me the loose bowels.

  

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I would have to go with my Atari complete with Donkey Kong and Space Invaders.


7 Hardest person to buy for? Me. 

 

8. Easiest person to buy for? My grandmother. Scented candles ot flowers are all she ever wants.  

 

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes. It goes in our front window.


10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I get to give some in person. The rest I e-mail. 

 

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I’ve gotten some pretty horrible sweaters.

 

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story hands down. Although It’s A Wonderful Life gets me every time. There are so many I love though.

  

           

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I started last week, but the bulk of it starts after Thanksgiving for me. 

 

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No. Not that I remember at least.

 

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Hmm. This is tough. I’d have to go with a Haitian dish my grandmother usually makes. Conche Meat. It’s my favorite and she rarely makes it. I have also become quite fond of White Chocolate covered Oreos.


16. Lights on the tree? Is this a real question? Of course!

 

17. Favorite Christmas song? The Christmas Song – Nat King Cole Version. I’ll have more on this later.

 

18. Travel at Christmas or stay at home? Most of my family is here in New York with me so I stay home. New York is the best place to be for Christmas anyway. I may go to Miami one of these years though,


19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer’s? Is Rudolph’s nose red? Of Course I can!

 

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Both. They are kind of right next to eachother.

 

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Well It used to be that my mom’s side would do Christmas Eve, and my Dad’s would do Christmas Day. Now it’s all on Christmas Day though.

 

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? People who like to shit all over things and try to ruin it for those of us who really enjoy.

 

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? This is tough. We have a set of antique crystal icicles that go onto the tree last. They add a really nice glow to the tree because they reflect the light really well.

 

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? The wine! lol.

 

25. What do you want for Christmas this year.  Good will to mankind and Rock Band 2 (the complete set).