drunk

Fake Holidays

Well everyone, its officially St. Patrick’s Day. Are you drunk yet?

Of all the fake holidays out there, St. Patrick’s Day has got to be one of the best. Now when I say fake holiday, I don’t mean that St. Patrick’s Day doesn’t mean something to certain people. There are true Irish men and women who hold the day near and dear to their hearts. They celebrate with traditions that have been passed on from generation to generation. They gather with their friends and families and break bread, they participate in parades, and instead of going crazy for green beer, they get drunk on the real stuff.


STRAIGHT WHISKEY BITCHES!!!

As for the rest of us, St. Patty’s Day is a fake holiday. An excuse to go out and party and blow off work.

There are many fake holidays in the year. Valentine’s Day, Halloween, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Cinco de Mayo, Election Day, and of course all of the Jewish Holidays. Of all the fake holidays, St. Patty’s Day has got to be right up there in terms of awesomeness. People get up at the crack of dawn and are in bars and pubs from the wee morning hours till late at night. It is a non-stop party! Halloween also gets high marks for all the girls who dress up all slutty and stuff, but sometimes planning a costume can be a pain in the ass. Today all you need is a green shirt and an ID card.


Remember…Never drink and blog.

So what do you guys think? What is your favorite fake holiday?

JOIN IN THIS DISCUSSION LIVE TONIGHT ON NYCOMEDYUNDERGROUND RADIO.

Online: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vanedave/2011/03/18/a-fine-excuse-to-drink
Call in: 858-815-2314

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JetBlue Not True?!!

“Say it ain’t so Steve!”

That is what I kept yelling at my computer screen when I read the news this morning. Apparently, Steven Slater, the JetBlue flight attendant who captured our hearts earlier this week, turned out to be full of crap. Instead of being the victim in this scenario, there are now strong indications that he was to blame for everything. Witnesses say that Slater was intoxicated and that he instigated the altercation with the passenger who he claimed was rude to him.

At first I refused to believe it. However after piecing everything together… the getting on the PA system, the jumping out of the plane’s emergency exit, grabbing a few beers for the road, running home to have some sex before the cops caught up with him… yeah it actually makes perfect sense that he was drunk.

I feel so disilliusioned right now. This is worse than when I found out that Pamela Anderson’s boobs were not real.

I need a beer.