Hip Hop

#5 Rap Beef (Kanye v. 50 Cent)

8. Kanye v. 50 Cent

How bout none of the above?

This one was actually legit in that they were both pretty big in the game when it went down. But what makes this so ridiculous is how little it actually ended up mattering. They both fell off hard after this.

Back on September 11, 2007, Kanye and 50 both had albums set to release. This epic “coincidence” pitted the rappers against eachother in a battle of week 1 sales.  Kanye and 50 both pledged that the loser would retire from the rap game. Looking back, that does not seem like such a bad thing.

Ultimately, Kanye was the winner in this showdown. Kanye’s album, Graduation, was the last decent thing he’d ever put out. From then on he went Autotune crazy and had a large part in fucking up music as we know it. The most notable thing he has done since this battle ensued was to play the shit out of himself at the MTV Video Music Awards. 

50 Cent, the loser in the battle, has fallen off even harder as a rapper. His last three albums have been flops, and he is more about acting now than anything. He was last seen impersonating the Olsen Twins on his twitter page.

They really should have retired.
# 6 Lol-Worthy Rap Beef (KRS One v. Nelly)

#7 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef

#8 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef

#9 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef of All Time

# 10 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beefs of All Time

# 6 Lol-Worthy Rap Beef (KRS One v. Nelly)

6.  KRS One v. Nelly

(This is one of my personal favorites. Nobody goes harder than KRS One.)

When I was in college I had the pleasure of going to see KRS One do a lecture on hip hop. He talked about the origins of hip hop and where he saw it going in the future (I don’t think he envisioned such a bleak future.) During the Q and A portion, someone from the audience asked him what he thought about Nelly. (At the time Nelly was at the top of his game. This was right around when “Hot in Here” was killing the charts.) As soon as KRS heard Nelly’s name come out of this dude’s mouth he went OFF!


He proceeded with a five minute rant explaining why. I was cracking up the entire time. He broke down some of Nelly’s lyrics in that mad exaggerated KRS One voice. It was great. I later found out that KRS really HATES Nelly. There is stuff all over the place about him shitting on Nelly. Nelly had one little verse on a remix retalliating, but for the most part ignored it.

That is what makes this beef so funny to me though. KRS went MAAAAD hard, and Nelly just kept making money. It was pretty much like, aight KRS you got the street cred, but I got a million dollars. Fuck it.

#7 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef

#8 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef

#9 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef of All Time

# 10 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beefs of All Time

#7 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef

#7. GranDad v. Thugnificent and the Lethal Interjection Crew

For those who are not familiar with the first two seasons of the Boondocks, well, what the hell are you doing with yourselves? You missed out! 

This beef started when Thugnificent and his lethal interjection crew moved out of their hood in Terra Belle, GA, and moved into Grandad’s upscale suburb of Woodcrest. After dealing with his fair share of loud parties and other disturbances, Grandad filed a formal complaint with the Woodcrest community board against Thugnificent. Thugnificent and his crew responded by putting out a diss record entitled “F Grandad” (seen in the attached video).

The song is fucking great. Aside from Thugnificent (voiced by Carl Jones), there are also lines by Lethal Interjection members Macktastic (Snoop Dogg) and Flonominal (Bustah Rhymes). The hook is even done by Nate Dogg

You just mad ‘cos yo’ ass is old (Macktastic: Old motherfucker!)/ First thing you do is just pick up the phone (Thugnificent: Eat a dick, nigga!)/ Lethal Interjection livin’ next to your home / You motherfucking Grandpa / Old nigga it’s on! (Thugnificent: Old motherfucker!)

Grandad made a response video on youtube that sucked pretty bad, but it was still hilarious. Soon after Thugnificent and Grandad decided to squash the beef because the “F Grandad” song was leading to old men all over the country getting their ass beat for no reason. The two held a press conference and hugged, while whispering the following exchange to eachother:

Grandad: You still gonna pay for my lawn.
Thugnificent: Eat a dick, old nigga.

#8 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef

#9 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef of All Time

# 10 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beefs of All Time

#8 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef

#8. Jermaine Dupri v Dr. Dre

What makes this one so bad is how thorough of an ass whooping Dre put on Jermaine Dupri. This one all stemmed from a 2001 interview in XXL magazine, where JD claimed to be the greatest producer alive. He went on to name Puffy, Dre, and Timbaland, saying he had more skills than all of them. Dre did not appreciate this.

JD’s comments in XXL eventually led to Dre totally shitting on him in the Eminem single “What You Say“. Dre tore JD to shreds. Some of the lines:

 “Fuck Jermaine, he don’t belong speaking mine or Timbaland’s name”

“Ya midget. Mini-me, with a bunch of little mini-yous runnin’ around ya backyard swimming pool.”

“Over 80 million records sold. And I ain’t have to do it with 10 or 11 year olds.”

Then at the end of the track, Timbaland pops in to tell JD to suck his… well, you know what. I love this track. That shit is so hard. Now as for Dupri’s retalliation record, let’s just say it was not even in the same league. His comeback had some of the worst lines ever (complete lyrics here.)!

“See I know you don’t do half the work in the studio,
plus you like lettin’ niggas playing with your booty hole.”

“You same beat making non rapping individual,
I was making what you make now when I was a child”

“Eminem, I left you out deliberatly,You know why?”
“Cause to me, You’re like a character in Disney World,
Known for dissing pop groups and Justin’s x girl”

Is it me, or does it sound like a five year old wrote this? I feel like an appropriate response to this would be,
“You’re rubber and I’m glue!”

#9 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef of All Time

# 10 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beefs of All Time

#9 Most Lol-Worthy Rap Beef of All Time

#9. Pras v. Biggie

This is probably the most random matchup of all. Raise your hand if you were even aware that these two had beef! 

Pras’ beef with Biggie has always made me scratch my head (and chuckle). There is a track on The Score  called “The Mask” where Pras, (a.k.a., the only member of the group who never really mattered) takes a shot at Biggie. The line goes as follows:

“Yo did you shoot him?”

“Nah kid, I didn’t have the balls. That’s when I realized I’m bumpin’ too much Biggie Smalls.”

(To hear the line, play @ 3:30 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zafnr5YKrc8)

Wtf?!! So apparently Pras is implying that listening to Biggie makes you into a bitch. Where did that come from? What’s more is that I have never heard anyone even acknowledge this. The Score was one of the biggest albums in hip hop history, I am sure SOMEONE in the Bad Boy camp had to notice this. 

Could it be that Pras was just so insignificant, that everyone just laughed it off? I could really picture Biggie hearing this and just going,

“Well isn’t that cute? He thinks he’s a rapper!”

#10. Wyclef vs. LL Cool J