Lord of the Rings

Jesus Died at Age 33… OH SHIT, HOLD UP!!!

I had a birthday recently. In case you couldn’t figure out by the title I turned 33 years old.

I’ll pause for a sec to let you sing to me…

…aww, thanks you guys!

I’ve had many people tell me that 33 is a great year recently. They all reference Jesus when they tell me this, like 33 was a great year for him. Did any of these people see Passion of the Christ? I don’t know what version they saw, but to me 33 did not look like a fun year for JC. That’s why we love Jesus so much, because of all the horrible stuff he went through for us. I don’t want to have any year of my life be nearly as traumatic.

Jesus hero

Although if I could have Jesus’ powers without having to go through all the torturing and crucifixion and stuff, I’d sign up for that.

That being said, I have always felt a connection to the number 33. It was the number my favorite basketball player, Patrick Ewing, wore. It is worn today by Matt Harvey, my favorite current NY Met. #33 was also worn by Jose Canseco, who was one of my favorite baseball players growing up before I was old enough to figure out what a piece of shit he is. Whenever I played sports or created characters in sports games I always wore #33. I still wear 33 on my Sunday morning softball team to this day.

So seeing how 33 is my number, I decided to look into this notion of 33 being the age to be. I started with a google search of “age 33”. I found all of these articles saying how 33 is the age where people are happiest, but that turned out to be bullshit since I found similar articles on the first page for searches of ages 34, 35, 36, 37, and 38. 

Looking further into the number 33 I did find some pretty cool stuff though:

  • The thirty-third year of a person, it is the perfect age, that of the full development. It is at this age that Jesus-Christ was crucified and that Krishna, the god with the 16000 wives and the 180000 sons, died to repurchase the Karma of the humanity
  • David reigned 33 years to Jerusalem
  • The Christ in the Gospels accomplishes 33 miracles
  • Joseph was 33 when he too the Virgin Mary as his wife
  • The Zen books represent us the genius solar surrounded by 33 atmospheric gods
  • Total number of vertebrae of the spinal column of the human body, in which pass 33 pairs of nervous groups
  • Water boils at 33 degrees Celcius
  • According to the Muslim theologian Al-Ghazali the dwellers of Heaven will exist eternally in a state of being age 33
  • 33 is not only a numerical representation of “the Star of David,” but also the numerical equivalent of AMEN: 1+13+5+14=33 (<—-COOL!!!)

Besides the importance of the number itself, here is some cool stuff people accomplished throughout history at age 33:

  • Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic alone
  • Michelangelo began work on the statue of David
  • Alexander the great conquered most of the known world (1 month shy of 33)
  • Thomas Jefferson wrote The Declaration of Independence
  • Thomas Edison took credit for inventing the light bulb
  • Vaudeville performer Walter Nilsson rode across the United States on an 8 1/2 foot unicycle (<—HOLY CRAP THAT’S AMAZING!!!)

It wasn’t all good for 33 though. There were some negatives:

  • Hitler rose to power in Germany in 1933. This was the same year that the Great Depression reached it’s height in America
  • 33 is one of the symbols for the KKK (K = 11 x 3 = 33)
  • Many believe that the Antichrist (whoever he turns out to be) will rise at age 33
  • Recent studies have shown that most people stop liking new music at age 33 (this may not be so bad actually.

After taking in all of this information I was still on the fence about age 33. That is until I found one more amazing fact about age 33 that completely blew my mind:

UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE!!!

And so, with that I’m very excited about the year to come. Already to begin my 33rd year I have a chance to witness something magical that only occurs once in a millenium. If this event comes to pass I will be fully convinced of the power of the 33rd year.

Mets World Series

COME ON METS. THIS IS MY… I mean OUR YEAR!!!