Obama

Basket of Dismissables

Racists.

Bigots.

Misogynists.

These are the uneducated idiots who made it possible for the unthinkable to happen. These are the people who elected Donald Trump to the highest office in this so-called greatest country on earth.

(Here is the part where all of the short tempered assholes jump off this blog. Fine. This isn’t really for you anyway.)

Now let me tell you what I really think.

While there is absolutely no doubt that the prejudice and hate that plagues this country played a role in what transpired this election day, the bigger issue is how those of us who staked our claim to the moral high ground by siding with “Her” dismissed those who didn’t by labeling them racists, bigots, misogynists, or just generally less intelligent and uninformed. This attitude was crystallized in what I believe was the turning point of the entire election, when Hilary Clinton referred to half of Trump’s supporters as a “basket of deplorables”.

I was deeply disappointed when this news came out. It was at a time in the election when all of the momentum was shifted her way. She was coming off of a successful Democratic National Convention where Bernie Sanders and the Obamas helped unite the party behind her, after a disastrous Republican National Convention which was highlighted by Melania Trump’s plagiarized speech and Ted Cruz’s controversial non-endorsement for Trump. This was followed by a period of party in-fighting where Trump was at odds with everyone from John McCain to Paul Ryan. By mid-August things were so bad for Trump and his camp that Paul Manafort, his second campaign manager, resigned and was replaced by Kellyanne Conway two and a half months before election day. At the time, most opinion polls had Hillary ahead by double digits.

It was expected at the time that Hillary would take this momentum, kick the shit out of Donald in the presidential debates (if he even decided to show up!) and then ride on to one of the biggest landslide victories in history. Sounded legit. I mean she was the most qualified candidate ever to run and he was a dude who is in the WWE Hall of Fame. HOW COULD SHE FUCK THIS UP???!!!!

wwe-hall-of-fame-class-of-2013

Feast your eyes on my new Facebook profile pic.

Well here’s how. You start by ignoring the fact that there were people who were disgusted enough with the status quo that they decided to elect Donald Trump as the Republican nominee. That alone should have home the point that people were not fucking around when they said they were disgusted with Washington. Then, on top of that, you fuel the idea that you are some elitist New York insider who doesn’t give two shits what Jimbos and Ellie Maes of the country have to say or what they care about by saying that they are all  “deplorables”. Yes, I know she said half, but it is absolutely no different than when Donald Trump says many of the Mexicans coming across the border are drug dealers and rapists. Trump didn’t say all Mexicans are criminals, just like she only said half of Trump supporters are pieces of shit, but chances are if Hillary were to meet Jimbo or Ellie Mae they are going to be thinking this lady thinks I am a fucking deplorable. FUCK HER!!!

To be clear, I am not saying she did not deserve to be president because of this misstep. Again, she was maybe the most qualified candidate to ever run for office. She also may have proven to be one of the cockiest candidates ever (her and those in her camp). There was almost this attitude that it was Hillary’s destiny to win this election. Like it was some self fulfilling prophecy.

She had worked her whole life to get here.

She had learned to be more likable.

The country had shown by electing Barack Obama twice that they were open to trying new things. We were finally ready for our first woman president! It wasn’t a matter of IF SHE WOULD WIN, it was a question of HOW MUCH SHE WOULD WIN BY!

hillary-history

Yeah, that is one way of looking at it. 

Hillary and her camp never really considered losing as a truly possible outcome. They never took Donald Trump as a serious threat. He was a joke. Hillary had the backing of every living president, prominent Republicans, and major celebrities of every kind. Trump had Scott Baio. This was never supposed to be a contest. This was just all the shit Hillary had to do before she became president.

Remember when Buster Douglas beat Mike Tyson?

When the USA beat Russia in the Miracle on Ice?

When Jennifer Hudson lost on American Idol?

Bad things happen when you take your opponent for granted. All Hillary’s camp had to do was listen to any pregame speech of any NFL coach preparing his team to face the Cleveland Browns to hear things like, “you never take your opponent for granted”,  “wins are not just handed to you”, and other such cliches. Because she violated these sacred rules, we just witnessed the electoral equivalent of Hillary losing to the Cleveland Browns.

Once you really wrap your head around how this happened, I believe it makes it just the slightest bit easier to move forward. What happened already happened. If you feel the need to protest to show your disgust, fine. If you really want to move to Canada, more power to you. But for those of us who are staying all I ask is one thing.

Find a way to make peace with this so we can all move on.

No one is saying you should not be angry or disappointed. There is a difference between complacency and acceptance. An alcoholic knows he has a drinking problem and keeps on drinking. A recovering alcoholic knows he has a drinking problem and takes steps to address his problem. If this election has shown us all something is that we all have a huge problem on our hands. Just a few weeks ago it was just the Republican party that was in crisis. Democrats everywhere looked down at the fire and laughed smugly. Don’t act like it isn’t true. We loved every minute of it.

Not so funny anymore is it?

Now that we know this is not just a GOP crisis, what do we do to fix things? For one, we all need to stop trying to find the nearest member of the opposing party to blame and concentrate on what it is that we can do better. It starts with listening to one another instead of dismissing each other as idiots the second we hear something that we don’t agree with. Just because someone doesn’t believe in abortion doesn’t mean they might not have some sort of keen insight on the economy. Just because someone for some stupid reason believes we should build a wall doesn’t mean they might not be right about some of our legitimately lax immigration policies. We all need to try harder to understand why these white people all felt desperate enough that they chose to believe in a guy who used to sell steaks at Sharper Image.

trumpsteak1

FOR FUCK’S SAKE WHITE PEOPLE!!!

I will end this with a plea to all my fellow liberal assholes. The time for making fun of the uneducated redneck masses has passed. That group that you are so much smarter than just served you a big ole’ country sized serving of WOKE! Instead of reacting the same exact way all the “racists” did when President Obama did in 2008, how about we try something different? We can all say #notmypresident till we turn blue in the face (Get it? Blue? This thing on?), but that will not change the fact that Donald Trump is f’reals the president. So go ahead, get all the anger out your system (PEACEFULLY!!!) and let’s move on in a smarter, more productive fashion. Let’s not let this happen again in 2020!

kanye-2020

Laugh at your own peril.

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When White People Riot

I remember sitting in a pizza shop with some co-workers the day the riots in Ferguson, Missouri reached their climax. CNN was on the television showing images of police in riot gear clashing with angry black residents. Cars were overturned, stores were smashed, whole neighborhoods burned. As we sat and watched, I braced myself for the inevitable question someone would eventually blurt out.

Demonstrators stand in the middle of West Florissant as they react to tear gas fired by police during ongoing protests in reaction to the shooting of Brown, near Ferguson

“Why would they do that to their own community?”

Oh yeah, my co-workers are all white. This matters for context only. I’m not racist, I swear.

As the only person of color at the table I was somehow expected to have the answer to this question. It is a question people of color are always asked when these types of situations play out. It was asked during the Ferguson riots, it was asked during the Baltimore riots, it was asked during the LA riots back when Rodney King made his famous plea of “can’t we all just get along?” For such a seemingly simple concept the answer is and always has been exceedingly complex. There really is no answer in my estimation. On many levels it simply doesn’t make sense.

Rioting as a form of protest is a paradoxical concept. I’ve never been able to wrap my head around it as a strategic maneuver. I’ve always seen it more as a purely instinctual, emotionally charged response. Like a child throwing a tantrum when their parents won’t buy them a toy at the store. It’s more likely to get them a beating than what they want (depending on how shitty the parents are).

This is why when someone asks me to explain the logic behind what transpires during riots I cringe. Logic is never the driving force behind a riot. Anger. Hurt. Desperation. These are the catalysts at play. It makes me sad to see the disenfranchised destroy what little they have. The images that we see on the news are startling. All over we see mostly young black men and women lashing out in the only way they seem to know how.

Baltimore-Riots

The perception of the angry black youth may be more alive and well in today’s America than it has ever been. For the hundreds of peaceful protests that have taken place over the past few years, it is the images from Baltimore and Ferguson that endure in the country’s psyche. The Black Lives Matter movement is viewed more as a domestic terrorist cell by many than an as a group of activists seeking justice. To sum this all up in simple terminology, WE ARE A BUNCH OF SCARY MOTHERFUCKERS!

People do crazy stuff when they are scared. More specifically white people do crazy stuff when they are scared. You think its bad when black people get angry? Or hurt? Or desperate? You think its bad to turn on your TV and see what happens when poor communities in Ferguson and Baltimore stop making sense? Turn on your TV right now and you can see what happens when the entire country stops making sense.

As recently as a year ago Donald Trump was a laughing stock. His run for the presidency was still viewed as an elaborate publicity stunt. Now here we sit, six months away from the election hoping and praying that he doesn’t score enough delegates to guarantee a nomination as the Republican candidate. He has done this while running the least presidential campaign in this country’s history. He has slandered women, advocated violence against protesters at his rallies, and run on a platform built around intolerance and xenophobia. He has proclaimed that he “could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and not lose any votes” AND HE HAS BEEN PROVEN CORRECT! He even did the unthinkable recently and referred to the events of 9/11 as 7/11 in a speech. He did not correct himself. He also did not skip a beat in the polls.

Steve 711
We wouldn’t have let Steve Harvey get away with that!

To think that in 2004, Howard Dean, considered by many to be the front runner for the Democratic nomination, had his whole campaign derailed because he let out an awkward overly enthusiastic cheer at the end of one of his speeches. He literally did nothing wrong. He was just a huge dork is all. Seems unthinkable that this sort of thing could tank a campaign today. On the bright side it did lead to some hilarious spoofs.

Like this one – Dave Chapelle – BYAAHHHH!!!

 

How did things get to be this way? What the hell is wrong with everyone? Well, as is the case with almost everything over the past 8 years, you can place most of the blame with Obama. Having to deal with Obama as president for two whole terms has driven many backwards ass people to drastic measures. He is the embodiment for everything they fear and loathe.

Muslim? CHECK!

Terrorist-y sounding name? CHECK!

Smooth black dude who could probably steal your girl? CHECK!

Uppity ass educated negro? DOUBLE CHECK!!!

I-Have-No-More-Campaigns-To-Run-Funny-Obama-Meme-Picture
OHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIITTTTTT!!!!

To have this man as Commander in Chief, all the while having gays running around getting married, and trans people not living in the shadows where they belong, and Latinos from the Bronx being appointed to the Supreme Court, and black people getting fed up about cops shooting them all the time. It looks like it just all got to be too much for white people. They’ve snapped.

It’s like they’ve all gotten together and collectively are saying, “YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WANT CHANGE? WE’LL SHOW YOU CHANGE!”

So FUCK IT they say, build a wall to keep out the Mexicans who are the backbone of our agricultural industry and contribute in countless other to our country. And while we’re at it keep all the Muslims out too. FUCK IT, repeal Obama Care no matter how many lives it has saved and regardless of the fact that none of the fucks cursing its name have a more viable alternative to help those who can’t afford care. FUCK IT, lets make huge sweeping cuts to social security and welfare. Yeah millions of god fearing honest white people will be left out in the cold, but at least the minorities won’t be able to buy their drugs with our tax dollars.

And yea, FUCK IT, elect Donald Trump our next president. FUCK IT, bomb the shit out of ISIS and all of our enemies. FUCK IT we don’t care about economic policies, or failed business practices. FUCK IT, make Mexico or China or whoever the fuck finance our bullshit ideas. He can say what he wants or do what he wants because damnit, he loves America! Not YOUR America, THEIR America. And it’s gonna be fucking GREAT again.

FUCK IT ALL!!! 

This is what’s happening in our country right now. There are no police in riot gear imposing martial law in the streets. No victimized store owners crying in front of their wrecked livelihood. No burning buildings to point at in horror. Yet somehow I can’t shake the fear that unless things change we will all be standing in front of the wreckage in a few years asking ourselves this one sobering question.

“Why would they do that to their own country?”

Trump Palin
CAUSE FUCK IT, THAT’S WHY!!!

Heroes

Alright settle down geeks, this is not about the show. This is about my sincere and utter disgust at our supposed “role models” in today’s society. You just can’t look up to anybody anymore. No matter what industry, no matter what race, no matter what gender. Everyone is just a screw up.

Our Heroes

Music
wayne      amy 
 
cb                        Britney-Spears-101

Sports
I am gonna stick to baseball here since it is our national pastimeroids
Politics
bush Palin

Olympic Heroes
Marionphelpsbong     

Even super heroes are fucking up these days…
wolverine       routh       Bale

With all of our heroes failing so epicly, I am left wondering who to look up to. Are there any heroes anymore?

obama
 

I Wasn’t Supposed To…

Okay I know I vowed not to do this, but I can’t help it. This post was inspired by Obama’s wonderful speech today. I was going to write something, but instead I decided to use pictures. Apparently words can be a little tricky for people sometimes. I don’t want anyone getting confused.

The Human Spectrum

There’s this shade…

…and this shade.


black guy
Man 


white_man1
Man 


arish

Beautiful


zhang
Beautiful


native american
The Future


indian kid
The Future


single mother
 Single Mother 


single father
Single Father 


asian stud

Straight A Student 

 

latina student
Straight A Student 

 

flav
Embarassment to His Race

blue devil
Blue Devil 


larry
Disgrace to His Kind

cheney
White Devil 

 

vato

Gangbanger 

 

asia thug
Thug


tbs
Black Spiderman 


fish
White Fish

 

soldier
Soldier


arab soldier

Soldier 


che
Revolutionary


indira ghandi
Leader


Robert Kennedy
Martyr


mlk
Dreamer



44th pres         
Hope.

Obama and Al Qaeda (edited)

Last week a tape was released in which Al Qaeda # 2 Ayman Al-Zawahiri called president-elect Barack Obama a “house negro”. Al-Zawahiri goes on to add “You represent the direct opposite of honorable black Americans such as Malik al-Shabbazzm or Malcolm X.” Now these comments, while egregiously disrespectful, should not be taken too seriously. Let me explain why.

Before I get into why these comments are actually laughable, I want to share two different reactions to the “house negro” remark (*and give a shout-out to my muse for this entry, MlleRobillard, who first told me about this). First I told a co-worker of mine on Friday and she responded, “What! They’ve gone too far this time. That is just wrong.” To which I laughed and replied, “yeah, I mean the whole World Trade Center thing was bad, but this is just fucked up.” She’s a bit melodramatic at times. On the flipside there was my cousin’s reaction. He decided to downplay the incident by saying, “at least they didn’t call him a nigger.” I have to admit that made me laugh.

Now lets get down to what I think. First off, lets examine why I think they did this. Many of the experts are saying that Al-Qaeda is trying to strengthen it’s recruiting within America by promoting a racial divide between Obama and his own people. They want Muslims (particularly black Muslims) in America to see Barack Obama as their enemy. Let me just say right now that if Al Qaeda thinks they can turn black people against Barack Obama right now, they’ve got another thing coming to them. They’ve got a better chance right now of turning black people against Jay-Z. And we love Jay-Z!

The bigger picture I believe is about the war. Obama has repeatedly promised to end the war in Iraq and this is not good news for Al Qaeda. The Iraq War has been a huge boost for Al Qaeda. They do not want to see it end. When I heard of this name calling, it just reeked of desperation to me. I envisioned some emergency Al-Qaeda meeting taking place soon after the election;

Bin Laden: Okay everyone. Thanks for coming. Before I begin, did everyone get their names for our Eid secret snowflake gift exchange? Remember we all agreed to a 50 dollar limit. I am looking at you Al Masri.
Al Masri: A thousand apologies Osama. I just knew that Al-Fahrouq really wanted an Ipod. If I had known the infidels were going to capture him this year then I would have kept it for myself!
(A hearty laugh is shared by all.)
Bin Laden:
Okay, okay down to business. Let’s begin. Death to America everyone.
All: Death to America Osama.
Bin Laden: So as we all know Barack Obama was elected president of the United States a few weeks ago.
(one lower level member foolishly applauds. After a brief moment of awkward silence, he is promptly shot.)
Bin Laden:
Well that was awkward. Someone make a note that we need to find someone new to take over the newsletter. Okay where was I? Ahh yes. Obama. This is not good news for us people. He has promised to end the war.
Zarqawi: Yes but didn’t George Bush promise similar things? The war will surely never end.
Bin Laden: For some reason I believe this Obama when he claims he will end the war. He has something that Bush doesn’t have. I can’t quite put my finger on it…
Zarqawi: A brain?
Bin Laden: Yes a brain. That’s it.
Saad Al-Sharif: But we can’t let the war end. We just can’t. I have not even gotten to kill any infidels yet. I have only ordered them to be killed. It’s just not fair.
Bin Laden: That is precisely why I called this meeting. We must ensure that Obama does not end this war. Any ideas?
Attash Khallad: Why don’t we just bomb something?
Bin Laden: No. That would be fun but it could backfire. After the World Trade Center all the world hated us. We are just lucky George Bush found a way to ruin it for his country. We need something else.
Abu Hafs: I have been learning photoshop. I can have pictures made of you and Obama shaking hands, or hugging or something. Then I’ll send them to Fox News. Maybe we can get Obama out of office.
Bin Laden: No, Fox News has already exhausted the Obama is a terrorist angle. It didn’t work. By the way did everyone see the fruit basket Sean Hannity sent us? Wasn’t it beautiful?
(various forms of agreement are heard throughout the room)
Al Zawahiri:
I’ve got something. Well he is black right? What if we make him look like a bitch in public. If he’s really black then that should make him obligated to try and kick our ass. That way if he ended the war everyone would know he was a bitch. He’d have no choice but to keep the war going. That is unless he wanted people to think he was a bitch.
Bin Laden: I like it. But how are we going to make him sound like a bitch? We can’t just call him a bitch. We are Al Qaeda. We’ve got standards to adhere to.
Al Zawahiri: What if we call him a “house negro“. That would piss me off if I was a black man. It’s actually worse than just calling him a bitch. It’s basically calling a black man the white man’s bitch. 
All: OOOOOOHHHHH.
Bin Laden: I love it! That is why you are my number 2 man Al-Zawahiri. Outside the box thinking like that. All in favor of this plan say Yay.
(the vast majority in attendance shout yay)
Bin Laden:
All opposed say nay.
(one lower level member says nay. After a brief moment of awkward silence he is taken away to be beheaded.)
Bin Laden:
Okay. Take note, we need a new treasurer. The yays have it. Al Zawahiri get to work on that plan. The rest of you, thank you for coming. Don’t forget we are only two months away from our annual Dick Cheney birthday bash. Dick is turning 68 this year so remember no sneaking up on him. Death to America everyone.
All: Death to America Osama!

So that is my theory on why these ridiculous comments came about. This is why I laughed when I heard it. If I am Obama I am taking this as good news. It shows that the terrorists do not like me and it shows that they are desperate enough to reduce themselves to name calling. 

Thanks for stopping by. Don’t forget tomorrow is Tuesday, which means Xanga Mystery Blogger. Come back and check it out.  

The Last Word…

Some people just gotta fuck shit up…

So yesterday a lot of you got a message from me expressing my disapproval of one of the posts xanga chose to feature. The post was entitled “We are so Screwed” and it was in a word, dangerous. The author made remarks about Obama rigging the election, about how he is not his president, and worst of all that he murdered his grandmother. There was much more about how we on the coasts are ignoramuses and how people who voted for Obama are either bad or ignorant. Now look, I am not saying that this guy shouldn’t have written this garbage (although I find it absolutely hilarious that he edited it so as to tone down the radicalism since yesterday). It’s his site he can write whatever the hell he wants. My issue was that Xanga chose to put this on the front page.

Now for me to be criticizing Xanga’s taste in featured blogs after being featured for two days in a row might sound a bit less than gracious. You may call me a hypocrite for it. The fact of the matter is that it would be hypocritical of me not to speak up about this. This is a critical time for our country. As happy as I am with the results of this election I also understand that there are many people who are just as unhappy, or angry, or just plain scared. Whatever their reasons may be for having these feelings, I am not one to say that they are not entitled to them. However these feelings of anger or fear should not be stoked. We should be helping people to properly cope with these feelings and find ways to move past them. Making up ridiculous accusations that Obama rigged the election and murdered his grandmother will not help our divided nation heal.

I’ve read many blogs from happy people who supported Obama and are optimistic about our future over the past two days, and I have also read some very poignant entries from McCain supporters who expressed their disappointment in a much more somber and respectful manner. However disappointed they might have been though, they all hoped for the best for our country under Obama. They all vowed to give him a chance. If Xanga wanted to put a different perspective up, they might have given a few of these posts some consideration. 

That’s really all I am hoping for out of those of you who are not as pleased with the outcome of this election. Give the man a chance. A fair chance. I feel as if there are some people out there who won’t be happy unless Barack Obama personally delivers a gold plated Mercedes to their driveway. If McCain had won I would have been devastated. I would have been a little scared too (especially with the prospect of President Palin looming large). Still I would have held my head up and looked toward the future with the hope that McCain would do his best to make our country better. I would have prayed every night for his health and I would not have been so damned bitter about it.  Though I would have kept up with the Canadian real estate market just in case.

In the end I am not here to bitch about Xanga. I love Xanga, I really do. Which is why I expect more out of it. I expect it to have a bit more of a sense of social responsibility. We shouldn’t be in the business of promoting hate. There are those of you out there who think this is about freedom of speech. As I’ve said before this guy can say whatever he wants. Just please consider for the moment that we are a divided and fragile nation, and that Obama has a huge target on his head. Let’s TRY to do a little better with our words.   

Lots to Share (Halloween Pics)

So as I told you guys last week, every year I go to the Halloween Parade in Greenwich Village and see some kick-ass costumes. This year was a little different. I went to the parade, but instead of spending most of the time checking out other people’s constumes and chasing them down for a pic, I spent most of my time having people chase me down and asking me to pose for pics. I did a couple costume with my girlfriend and we were huge hits with the crowd. We dressed up as John McCain and Sarah Palin’s myspace pages. 

Now going into the week I had no intention of doing anything Palin or McCain related, even though my girl wanted to make fun of her real bad. I just knew there would be a ton of them out there. However after I got the idea to do this I had to give it some consideration. When I finished making their fake pages and filling every little part with jokes I started to get real excited about the costumes. The finished product came out even better than I expected. Here are some of my favorites from the night (use that rec button if you enjoy!)…
Halloween & Janet Jackson 023Halloween & Janet Jackson 030
There we are. We had to make sure that people knew what side we were on.Halloween & Janet Jackson 020Halloween & Janet Jackson 018
Two of my favorites from the night. The BEST joker costume there, and a very beautiful Freda costume.
Halloween & Janet Jackson 028Halloween & Janet Jackson 025
NEWS TEAM ASSEMBLE! The anchorman cast, followed by a Micheal Phelps impersonator who must’ve been freezing his balls off.
Halloween & Janet Jackson 047Halloween & Janet Jackson 034
Joe Six-Pack and his hockey mom friend, followed by little Barack and Michelle Obama. They were so darned cute.
Halloween & Janet Jackson 037Halloween & Janet Jackson 040
Pretty cool Gambit costume here. Also we met the bailout plan.
Halloween & Janet Jackson 052Halloween & Janet Jackson 051
Barack Obama himself. He was a pretty good sport.

I’ll leave you with this video of us getting booed (which happened all night) and the Palin myspace page for your reading pleasure. The McCain page modules are in my photos if anyone wants to see more. I might put them up later. The video is short, but it’s just a sample of the craziness we encountered. We had to keep yelling “WE ARE PRO OBAMA! OBAMA 08 PEOPLE.” I kept telling people I would take their health care and bomb their homelands if I was elected president. Call it creative license.


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